#but i guess it's better than the other feeling i get during all this disc horse

[corvidcall]

man it... kinda sucks to be just getting into mtg now? pretty much everyone i respect in the scene (and also plenty that i don't) seem to be pretty much agreed that everything is the worst its ever been and only getting worse still. but a lot of the things that people point to as evidence of mtg's decline are the same things that brought me into the game, or at the very least, that i found fun and appealing enough to get me really invested

so it kinda feels like it's my fault??

obviously, i don't make decisions for wotc or hasbro, but it just seems like them appealing to me ruined it for everyone else....

it feels bad!!!

[biblicallyaccuratecrow]

isat thoughts: the bright flower (flower symbolism makes me mentally ill)

[woe, spoilers be upon ye!]

So, the bright flower visually resembles a pansy. Which feels innocuous until you realize. Pansies are symbols of remembrance. Because it sounds a lot like the French pansées, meaning thoughts. And in Old English, it was referred to as ‘heartease’ because it was thought that carrying one around would remind the person that they were loved, truly and wholeheartedly, by the one who gave it to them.

Now. I want you to let that sit for a sec.

Siffrin gives every party member a flower. It’s a gift, a way of showing that he cares about them. That he loves them. Isabeau says that he’ll treasure it forever.

Bonnie asks why, and then looks at it sadly.

Mirabelle says that she’ll press it in a book to keep it forever.

Odile says that it’s proof.

Siffrin doesn't know what it's proof of, but... of course, it's proof that he loves them. And more than that- that he won't forget them. Even if they forget him. Even if this all meant more to him than it did to them.

Then there's the people outside the party.

Euphrasie can't accept it. She is stuck, like Siffrin. She won't remember. Can't remember.

The King takes it. Instead of asking if Siffrin remembers like he usually does at the start of the battle, he asks if they will remember him. No matter what you say, the battle still happens. But if you say no, the King laughs, and says that he'll remember Siffrin after they're defeated.

The King knows, then, what it symbolizes. Even if Siffrin doesn't.

When you try to give the flower to Loop, they refuse it. They refuse it, again and again, turning it towards other members of the party, to those more deserving of it.

And when they finally take it...they act like nothing happened. But they took it. Quite literally accepted a reminder of love the only person who can care about them.

Do with that information what you will, but...

If you take the flower in Act 5, you can pluck it. If you keep it until after the King, siffrin will remark that it's still there.

If you look at it during act 6, however, you get this.

(You still have the flower.)

(...)

(You guess it's yours, now!)

It's yours now. You don't give it to any of the party members.

It's a reminder of love. Not for the party- they know, now, far better than they ever could have before. No, it's for Siffrin themself.

A way to remember that you are loved.

anyways insert disc 5 you are mad and i am in pain, your days are numbered /j

[adultswim2021]

Scott Pilgrim vs. the Animation | August 12, 2010 - Around Midnight | Short

This is a short that aired during the commercials, I guess, one night, as a promo for the Scott Pilgrim film. Adult Swim had a history of partnering with motion pictures to produce little bits of new animated or quasi-animated promos to, uh, promote them. This serves as a little prequel to the film proper. I am unclear if this aired as one big short or if it aired in bits and pieces as bumpers or what. I'm not sure why I think that it could have aired not as one unbroken short.

I decided to unephemera this because it’s short and I assumed this would be a short write-up. But, then, I watched it and thought, “I should watch Scott Pilgrim vs. the World”. The reason I did this is because the animation purely exists for that purpose: to get people to watch Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World, an to not watch it immediately afterwards would net me something like an “incomplete” grade in school. If I had already seen the movie and had above-average recall of it like I do for about a handful of films, this would not be necessary. 

The other reason to watch it is: It’s a movie I’ve never seen. It’s also by a director that I generally like. And Michael Cera’s meteoric ubiquity is no longer a thing I have to “play it cool” for/around. A figurative case of “striking while the iron’s tepid”. Also: I literally just bought a huge television this weekend and I have been CHAMPING at the bit to go to my beloved local video store that still miraculously exists and rent a 4K UHD disc and watch it in my home with the lights off (nobody said I couldn’t sit at my computer with a web browser open or pause multiple times to get fresh tea and take huge pisses hee hee hee hee!!!). 

I remember feeling a little too old for this film. When it came out, I was roughly the same age-gap-amount’s older than Scott than he is with his problematic-age-gap girlfriend from the start of the film. But, really, the nostalgic references in the film are as much mine as they are Scott’s, which made me wonder: What year does this actually take place? From the light reading I’ve done on the topic, I can discern that the comic/film are roughly set in the recent past, perhaps at a time when I would have been 22ish. Scott not having a cell phone, for example, would be a perfect hint that this is true. When I was around 22, I was similarly sans cell phone. It was only a little weird, enough to not be the butt of multiple comments. 

Also, the crowd Scott belonged to was roughly the same crowd I belonged to, the few times I actually considered myself to be part of a “crowd”. Lotta pussy in that crowd. Why did I ever leave it? I know why, but it’s too long of a tangent to put in here. I hung out with all these dickheads. I yearned for similar calibur pussy. I had several moments where I realized I was living the dream of early 90s gen-x movies of hanging out with cool kids in living rooms that looked like they belonged to cool kids, and thinking, very specifically, “I am not appreciating this enough”. I think I like all that stuff better in movies.

So, anyway, I loved this movie a lot. It literally delighted me every scene. and it really made me realize one very important thing: I have not had sex in a very long time. 

The animation thing was okay, I guess.

EPHEMERA CORNER:

I am just linking to the short down here again

MAIL BAG:

Are you going to review Big Lake (and I ain't talking bell)

LOL. NO

[photogirl894]

"IronStar"

Chapter 7

"A Night at the Beach"

A "Fairy Tail" fanfic!

Pairing: Gajeel x fem OC

A/N: Not sure why, but I've been really hit with inspiration for this fic lately! I guess I've missed Gajeel and Genna more than I thought 😊 Hope y'all enjoy!

Taglist: @l-lend , @rosechi , @the-bad-batch-baroness , @angrypaperearthquake-tbbb-main

《 Chapter 6

》 Chapter 8

All chapters

Explanation: An unexpected foe has engaged the Fairy Tail guild during their outing at Akane Beach and Gajeel and Genna must aid them in the fight.

Genna and Gajeel burst from the underground cave they were in and made a mad dash for the beach, the rumbling and crashing noises they’d just heard getting louder and feeling even closer than before. 

“It’s gonna take too long if we go on foot,” Genna suddenly stated, halting in place. Then she held her hands out in front of her and said, “Moon and Stars.” In front of her, just inches off the ground, a solid round disc of glowing silver light appeared in front of her, surrounded by smaller motes of light. She stepped on top of the disc, turned back to Gajeel and told him, “Get on.”

Gajeel seemed unsure for a second, but he knew they couldn’t afford to waste time, so he jumped up onto the disc, laying his hands on her shoulders.

“Hope you’re not afraid of heights,” she said.

“Why would I be afra--aah!” he started to say when all of a sudden, they jolted forward and the disc soared up through the air, which caused him to hold onto her shoulders tighter.

She was careful to maneuver the disc through the trees, making their way up to get a view out from out of the trees. Soon, they broke through the canopy and could see the problem right away, even though it was plenty of yards away.

A giant sea serpent, easily three hundred feet long with glistening obsidian scales, had breached the coastline and was giving their other guild members some trouble. An awful screech sounded from its giant maw at the people fighting it on the beach--which clearly was the remainder of Fairy Tail--who looked like tiny bugs from their perspective. The bonfire from earlier had been extinguished, leaving only the light of the moon to illuminate the area as well as the glow from the Fairy Tail guild members’ different magics. 

“That definitely ain’t good,” Gajeel observed. 

“We need to go help,” Genna declared, willing the makeshift moon they stood on to fly forward. 

Seeing she was heading towards their friends, he glanced back at the sea serpent. “Wait, don’t head for the guild. Head for the serpent,” he told her. 

“Why?” she questioned.

“I got an idea. While the others are distractin’ it on the beach, we can attack it from above,” he explained. 

Impressed, she replied, “A good strategy.” After that, she redirected their flight path and began zooming in the direction of the sea serpent, which was now taking hits from everyone’s different magical attacks. 

“When we get right over it, drop me and I’ll hit him hard in the head with my iron sword,” he instructed her.

She grinned. “Better yet, I’ll drop us both. We’ll hit it together...because I've got a sword of my own.”

Back on the beach, the rest of Fairy Tail was recovering from a sudden surprise attack from this sea serpent, whose massive coils had crashed on the beach, toppling some palm trees and sending plumes of seawater and sand everywhere. 

Naturally, Natsu was the first to leap into action. Flames erupted everywhere around him as he took off down the beach towards the water and shouted, “You wanna interrupt our bonfire? Get ready to be barbecued, you overgrown eel!” With a battlecry, he leapt into the air and released his Fire Dragon Roar directly at the serpent’s face, searing its scales and drawing an enraged shriek. However, the serpent retaliated with a swipe of its tail, sending him flying back and then a tsunami crashing toward the mages.

“Natsu!” Lucy cried out as he crashed in the sand, but soon, most of them were swallowed up by the water.

Wendy, who had been lifted in the air just in the nick of time by Carla, was flying towards the serpent herself when she conjured up her Sky Dragon Wing Attack, sending waves of air at the monster. 

“Requip!” Erza called out, her whole body shimmering with light as her armor transformed. Now, she wore her green Sea Empress Armor, which was her best option for aquatic fighting. She dashed forward, her crystal sword gleaming at her side, and cried, “Juvia! Get me up there!” 

“On it!” Juvia replied, conjuring up the water to form tendrils around Erza as she approached before thrusting her hands out to her right, commanding the tendrils to throw Erza up in the air towards the serpent’s head.

The serpent saw her coming and was starting to sink down back into the water so Erza yelled out as she soared towards it, “Stop it from going back under!”

Hearing her command, Levy and Fried stepped up together, deciding to combine their writing rune magic to subdue the monster. 

“Solid Script: Bind!” Levy cried.

“Dark Ecriture: Paralyze!” followed Fried. 

Chains of both light and shadow shot out from the words and runes they drew in the air, intertwined with one another and they wrapped around the serpent’s midsection, halting its movements.

With the enemy now subdued, Erza brought her sword above her head and brought it down upon the back of the serpent’s neck, striking it hard and with all the strength she could muster.

Down on the beach, Mira, Lisanna, Elfman, Lucy and Cana were now helping all the civilians that were still around get to safety, urging them to get further inland and towards the nearby resort.

Gray joined in on the fight, bringing his fist to his open palm. “Ice Make: Lance!” From his hands came bolts of spear-like ice bolts that attacked the body of the monster.

Beside him, Juvia commented, “Nicely done, my love.”

Laxus ran up into the shallow water, summoning up a surge of his Lightning Dragon electricity in his hand, and then he punched down into the sand, sending the electric current up the water and electrocuting the sea serpent. It writhed and convulsed, shrieking loudly in pain, with Erza holding onto one of the spikes on its back. 

At that point, Lucy happened to look up and spotted something; a light soaring through the sky in their general direction with what appeared to be two people on it. She could see turquoise hair, which she recognized as Genna's, and then…was that Gajeel behind her? 

“Look up there!” she called, pointing up into the sky.

Anyone within earshot of her all paused and looked up.

“That's Genna!” cried Levy.

“And…Gajeel?!” Natsu then exclaimed in disbelief.

In the sky, Genna and Gajeel were getting just over the sea serpent’s head, prepping for their attack.

“You ready, Princess?” Gajeel asked in Genna’s ear. 

“Ready when you are, Dragonslayer,” she replied.

As they got just above it, the monster caught sight of movement overhead and looked up in time to see them, opening its mouth and roaring at them.

“Now!” he shouted. 

At his command, Genna willed the disc to spin so they both ended up upside down and started falling towards the sea serpent. As they went, Gajeel had grabbed hold of one of Genna’s hands so they stayed together in free-fall.

“Night Sky Blade!” she cried, the disc of light flying to her free hand and taking the shape of a large sword, the blade looking like it was literally made from the night sky and the edges glowing white.

“Iron Dragon’s Sword!” Gajeel then shouted, his other arm transforming into a jagged blade.

The two of them released each other’s hands, raised the swords high and, in seemingly perfect unison, brought them down upon the monster’s head. The power behind their strikes dealt a good blow to the serpent, disorienting it as it howled in pain. Its head reared back and, unfortunately, sent them both flying and they could hear their friends shouting their names in panic. 

Thinking quickly, Genna summoned her Phoenix Wings and her glowing, starry wings spouted from her back, catching her in midair and helping her stay afloat. However, when she turned her head, she spotted Gajeel rocketing towards the water. She zoomed down in his direction, crying out his name. She came up behind him and grabbed him underneath his arms before flying back upwards. Though, it took a second because she realized how heavy he was and she almost couldn’t get up for a brief moment.

“You’re a lot heavier than you look,” she commented, straining.

“You've seen me without a shirt twice now and how muscular I am. You seriously didn’t think I’d be heavy?” he questioned, looking up at her. 

Erza, who luckily had leapt off the beast in time and back onto the sand, saw the serpent was looking weary after the hit from Genna and Gajeel. “The serpent is weakened! Give it all you got!” she ordered everyone. 

“Water Nebula!” Juvia cried, creating two pillars from the water around the serpent and making them swirl around in a helix formation around it, giving it more damage. 

Simultaneously, Natsu leapt at the sea serpent and let loose his Fire Dragon’s Fist, punching the creature with a powerful, fire-boosted punch while Gray created an Ice Hammer that dropped down on the serpent’s back. Wendy, too, used her Sky Dragon Roar to cause even more damage.

“Come on, Gen, it’s almost down! Fly me down there!” Gajeel exclaimed, turning his arm back into his Iron Dragon’s Sword.

Without hesitation, Genna sped off through the air towards the beast, holding tightly to Gajeel to keep him from slipping out of her grasp. The sea serpent was close to being defeated; they had one more shot to take it down. She’d be able to get Gajeel to it in time, but she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to launch a good enough attack afterwards. Her magic energy was draining fast, keeping her wings up. How she wished there was something; anything she could do to help.

Suddenly, her hands began to glow a golden color and she could her magic energy pulsating, as if by its own will. 

“What’re ya doin’?” Gajeel inquired, startled at the glowing hands holding him.

“I…I don’t know!” she cried back. 

Golden swirls of stars then emanated from her hands and, to their even greater astonishment, the stars twirled around Gajeel’s sword before immersing into the iron and creating a brief pulse of light. He felt a surge of power rush through him almost like one of Laxus’ electric currents--which he’d experienced before a number of times--and his own magic energy seemed to have increased almost tenfold. 

“Whoa!” he shouted in surprise. He’d had no idea what she’d just done, but now, he was feeling boosted even more for a final attack. He then cried out, “That’s exactly what I needed! Launch me, Genny!” 

Still unsure of what had happened, she pushed it aside in her mind and prepared to throw him. She could feel the last of her energy depleting and in seconds, she was sure her wings would evaporate. Mustering up her strength, she spun around and flung him in the direction of the sea serpent.

“Take it down, Gajeel!” she yelled as she threw him. 

Just after she let go, her magic faded like a whisper on the wind and her remaining strength was gone. Her wings disappeared and she plummeted towards the ocean, everything going dark as she fell and her last thoughts hoping Gajeel was able to help bring down the sea serpent for good.

With a new rush of magic power within him--foreign magic that still somehow felt right for him to utilize--Gajeel lifted his sword, ready to take a final strike just as he could see Natsu and Gray taking their hits, too. He was hurtling through the air like a cannonball of iron and fury, ready to end this fight.

Words then spilled from his mouth before he could even process what he was saying: “Starforged Iron Barrage!” 

His sword made contact with the serpent’s body and shards of radiant metal burst forth from the area of impact, hitting the rest of the beast. An even higher-pitched, ear-piercing wail ripped from its throat. Its body spasmed and jerked and then, in seconds, it collapsed over into the ocean.

Cheers erupted from the other Fairy Tail wizards. They had defeated the giant sea serpent!

However, their victory was short-lived as Natsu spotted Genna falling through the air yards away. “Genna!” he cried as he watched her vanish beneath the water.

“Someone get her out of there!” shouted Cana, who was now running over to join the others along with Lucy, Lisanna, Mira and Elfman.

Wordlessly and without hesitation, Juvia surged forward. The water rose to meet her as if it recognized its master; a fellow wizard who could command the ocean’s every will. Her body rippled into her water form and she dove into the sea, disappearing beneath the surface in a blink of an eye.

Gajeel landed on the shore with a heavy thud, breathing hard as he wiped the sweat from his brow. That last hit had really taken a lot out of him, but he couldn’t have done it without Genna’s help. He looked up, expecting to see her still hovering in the sky, but she wasn’t there. Eyes wide, he scanned the sky for her, but she was nowhere to be seen. His heart started racing. 

“Where is she? Where’s Genna?” he demanded aloud to no one in particular.

“She fell into the water,” Natsu said, stepping forward. “Juvia went in after her.”

Gajeel didn’t wait for anything else. He sprinted down the beach, fists clenched tightly. What had happened? Had she been hit? If he had just stayed with her instead of having her launch him to the sea serpent, he could’ve been there to help her. 

Wait…why was he this concerned about her? This wasn’t like him. Yeah, he’d agreed to let her be his friend not even a few minutes earlier, but now, he was worrying like crazy over her. What was going on with him?

The water churned close by and Juvia burst from the waves, carrying Genna in her arms. The girl was limp, soaked, her hair now completely undone from the fun buns and the braid and spread across her face.

“I’ve got her!” Juvia called. 

She had barely touched the shallows before Gajeel was before her, grabbing Genna from her arms with a gentleness that almost startled Juvia.

“Thanks, Juvia,” he muttered, barely looking at his fellow guildmate as he sank to his knees in the wet sand, cradling Genna against him.

“I saw what happened,” stated Laxus. “Her wings suddenly vanished after she threw you at the serpent. Her magic energy must’ve given out.”

Gajeel registered what Laxus said, but said nothing in response, his focus trained solely on Genna’s pale face. “C’mon,” he murmured quietly, lightly shaking her. “Don’t do this. Wake up, Genna.”

“I’ll heal her. She needs help breathing. Hold her steady, Gajeel,” Wendy told him, coming over and dropping to her knees beside him. Her hands radiated blue light while she held them over Genna’s chest. 

He held her firmly while Wendy worked her healing magic. The girl was a great healer, so he knew it would only be a matter of seconds before Genna would be back up. She'd better be or he wasn't gonna be very happy about it. 

Sure enough, a few seconds later, Genna’s eyes flashed open and she gasped, turning to the side. Water spilled from her mouth as her chest jolted, coughing and sputtering. 

“Easy there. I got ya,” he soothed her as she coughed up the last of the water.

After coughing a little more and catching her breath, she fell back into his arms and looked up at him. “Did you get it?” she asked weakly.

He grinned at her. “Yeah, we got it,” he answered.

She gave the smallest smile and then dropped her head against his chest, exhausted.

A moment later, he gradually helped her back up to her feet as everyone else gathered around them.

Lucy declared, “Genna, what you did up there was amazing!”

“Yeah, you launched a Dragonslayer. That's insane,” Natsu added, thoroughly impressed.

“Indeed. You showed great strength with such a feat,” complimented Erza, who was now back in her bikini. 

Genna chuckled. “You're telling me. Gajeel's pretty heavy.”

“Give me a break,” Gajeel said, rolling his eyes.

Juvia, who was still standing beside them, laid a hand on Genna's shoulder. “You are much stronger than you think. Even the ocean didn't wish to take you.”

“Thanks, Juvia,” Genna replied. 

After that, everyone else came up to offer Genna and Gajeel their congratulations on their part in the fight, but Gajeel quickly pushed past all of them, not wanting any of the attention.

The tumultuous storm had now passed. The massive carcass of the sea serpent lay tangled in the shallows, its black scales dull in the moonlight. The once-violent waves were now calm once more, lapping at the shore with a rhythmic silence. Scorch marks, frost patches and torn up sand marked the beach, all silent proof of Fairy Tail’s victory. Cheers still echoed from the beach as Natsu and Gray bickered over who actually landed the finishing blow. Their arguing ended, though, once Erza came in, knocked them both in the heads and said they both landed the final blow as well as Gajeel.

Who, at the moment, was standing apart from everyone else. 

He was further up the beach, contemplating walking away. He'd done his part in the fight and just felt that need to be away coming back. He glanced back at the rest of the guild, seeing them celebrating and gathering up their things to head back to the resort. His eyes found Genna, who was already looking more herself; smiling and laughing with Levy, Natsu and Wendy. It was good seeing her like that again. Seeing her unconscious before had stirred a sense of distress within him that he didn't like. He'd rather not go through that again. This was why he distanced himself from other people. He didn't want to get too attached to anyone and risk letting his emotions cloud his judgement. 

This girl, however, was making that hard.

While she was distracted by the others, he figured now would be a good time to start slipping away. He would see her back at the guild hall eventually.

Genna, however, noticed him walking away. 

As Natsu, Wendy and Levy began walking away, she saw movement further down the beach and recognized the mane of spiky black hair leaving. She couldn't believe he was trying to sneak away again. Still sticking with the “lone wolf” thing, even after everything they'd talked about before. She didn't want him to have to go alone. Not this time.

“You should go after him, Genna,” said a voice behind her. 

When she turned around, there was Erza standing there, her arms folded across her chest and an understanding smile on her face.

“I know of your ambition to befriend him,” she went on. “He believes he should be alone, but I think you're just the right person to show him it doesn't need to be that way.”

“How do you know?” Genna inquired. 

The scarlet-haired warrior snickered. “Just a feeling. We've all tried our best with him, but things seem different with you. Your combined skills with him in the fight with the serpent as well as his concern for you when Juvia brought you out of the water is proof that you're special.” Then she lightly nudged Genna with her elbow. “He needs someone like you. The two of you make a good team, too.”

Genna glanced back at Gajeel heading in the opposite direction. “I don't like the thought of him being alone.”

“That’s what we do in Fairy Tail: we don’t let each other walk alone,” Erza said to reaffirm Genna's words. 

Those words struck a chord within Genna and she knew immediately that Erza was right. She had to follow after Gajeel. After giving her a thankful smile, Genna ran off, calling out for Gajeel.

He stopped upon hearing her, but didn't turn around.

“You’re not coming back to the resort?” she asked gently as she halted behind him.

Gajeel still kept his back to her, but turned slightly over his shoulder. “Wasn't plannin’ to. I’ll head back to the guild tonight.”

Genna blinked, taken aback. “Back to Magnolia? On foot? Gajeel, that’s hours away.”

He shrugged, finally glancing at her over his shoulder. “I came here on my own already. Don’t need anyone fussin’ over me.”

She didn't respond for a moment. It didn't seem like a good idea for him to go alone, but she wondered if she was in good enough shape to walk all the way back to Magnolia. Though, she was feeling a little stronger now thanks to Wendy’s healing. Maybe she'd be okay. Even so, she was still determined to not let him be alone. Not anymore. 

“Then I'm coming with you,” she stated.

That was what got him to turn around fully to face her, his eyes narrowed skeptically. “Don't be stupid.”

“I'm not. I'm just stubborn.”

“You're in no condition to walk all that way.”

“Wendy's healing has helped me enough. Besides…I'll be with you. You'll help me along the way if I need it, won't you?”

There was a long silence between them, broken only by the rushing of the waves. Gajeel finally sighed and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. Once again, this girl was insistent…and he was beginning to find he liked that about her. He finally looked at her again; really looked this time. There was no pity in her bright blue eyes, just steadiness and familiarity. A quiet, shared understanding between them that went beyond words now.

Then he heaved a heavy sigh. “Suit yourself, then,” he said. 

She smiled. “Great. I'm going to run back to the resort, grab my things and change my clothes. I'm not walking back in my swimsuit. Did you bring extra clothes?”

Gesturing back to the trees with his head, he said back, “They're back in the cave.”

“Good. Wait for me…and don't try to sneak off without me.”

“At this point, I don't know if I dare, anyway.” Then he smirked at her. “Don't worry. I'll be here.”

Satisfied, she trusted his words and darted off back to the resort, preparing herself for another long journey home.

The road winding away from the beach was narrow and would be long back to Magnolia, but it wasn't a road they were unfamiliar with. The moon cast their long shadows ahead of them and the only sounds were their footsteps and the distant crashing of the ocean now far behind them.

For a while, they didn’t speak.

Gajeel wasn't one for small talk and Genna wasn’t sure if she should fill silence for the sake of it. She was just glad to walk beside him and be with him on the way home. Even more than that, she was glad he didn't fight her too much on it and let her come with him. If they were to simply be silent the whole way back, then she would have no complaints.

Eventually, Gajeel exhaled sharply. “You didn’t have to come, ya know.”

“I know,” she replied.

“Then why did you?”

She looked ahead at the moonlit road. “I'm pretty sure I made why quite clear back in the cave.”

Gajeel didn’t answer right away. He kicked a stone off the path and watched it tumble along. 

“After everything I said to you, why would you still choose to try and leave on your own?”

His gaze was lowered, jaw clenched tight like he was chewing on his words before saying them. “It’s nothin’ to do with you or everyone else or even tryin’ to stay alone,” he started. “It’s just...after a fight…I get this feeling…like I don’t know what to do with myself. Everyone’s celebrating and I’m still in fight mode. It doesn’t go away that quick and I just…need to get away.”

Genna nodded in understanding. “The aftermath sometimes is louder and more overwhelming than the fight itself. It floods your mind and you become restless trying to process it all.”

He glanced at her sharply in surprise. Then he smirked faintly. “You get it,” he noticed.

“I do. More than you think,” she said in return.

A couple more minutes of silence passed before Genna said aloud, “You know, I honestly thought you would argue more.”

“About what?” he asked.

“Me tagging along, of course.”

Gajeel glanced at her, then looked away with a faint grunt. “I did.”

“Not very well.”

He smirked. “Guess I knew it wouldn’t work.” 

Genna playfully shoved him with her shoulder.

Then he said to her, “I got a question for ya.”

“What's up?”

“Near the end of the fight earlier, when your hands started glowin’ and your magic fused with mine somehow…what was that all about?”

That whole ordeal had also been weighing on her mind since it had happened. “Honestly…I have no idea. I knew my magic energy was low and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get in an attack after letting you go. I remember wishing that there was something more I could do and then that suddenly happened. It was as if my magic acted on its own.”

“That's never happened before?” he asked.

Shaking her head, she responded, “No, never. What even happened to you?” 

He lifted a hand up in front of his face, his fingers flexing as he recalled how her power had felt. “Well, first, it felt like I'd been sucker-punched by one of Laxus’ lightning bolts; like a wave of electricity shot through me. After that, my own power felt stronger than it had before.”

Genna stopped abruptly and Gajeel halted, as well, just a couple steps ahead of her. “My magic gave you a boost?” she clarified. “I didn't even know that was possible! I had no idea I could do that.”

“Are you serious?”

She nodded. Then she added, “Also, I heard you shout something as you attacked with that just before I lost consciousness. ‘Starforged Iron Barrage’?”

His cheeks went pink and he looked away timidly.

“You gave that unknown ability a name?” she asked him.

“Yeah, it just…kinda came to mind and slipped out in the moment,” he replied, 

That response got a giggle out of her. “I actually liked it,” she told him. 

He gave her a curious look. “Really?”

She nodded. Though, knowing he probably wouldn’t want too much attention on him at the moment, she moved on from the subject by asking, “Do you plan on walking all night back to Magnolia?”

“Do you need to stop and rest?” he asked, his tone riddled with concern instead of sarcasm like she expected. 

There was a part of her that thought resting would be a good idea, but she also didn’t want to appear weak in front of him, especially after saying she’d be okay going with him. 

When she hesitated to answer, he knew immediately that something was up. “All right, we can either stop to rest or I’m carryin’ you the rest of the way. Take your pick.”

Genna’s breath hitched at the thought of being carried in Gajeel’s arms. “There’s no way you’d actually carry me all the way back to the guild,” she said, calling his bluff. 

His stare didn’t waver. “Try me.”

She smirked. There was no way he’d do it. “Okay, fine,” she relented. “Go ahead. Let’s see you carry me, tough guy.”

He didn’t hesitate. In one smooth motion, he stepped forward, ducked slightly, and scooped her up into his arms bridal style with absolutely no sign of effort.

Genna cried out in alarm, arms instinctively looping around his neck. “Gajeel Redfox! Put me down!”

He raised a studded eyebrow at her. “Thought you gave me the go-ahead, Genny Whitesun.”

“I didn’t think you’d actually do it!” she exclaimed.

“Now you know better than to call me out like that.”

She sighed dramatically, but she didn’t struggle. He then resumed walking and showed no signs of actually going to put her down. She kept her eyes on his stoic face as they went, his red eyes keeping straight ahead. As per usual, he was hard to read. Was he enjoying this? Was he doing it because he was just being helpful or was there more behind it like she secretly hoped? It was back in the cave that she felt she’d finally made a breakthrough with him in getting him to accept her as a friend, but she figured there wasn’t a chance that he was developing feelings for her the same way she was for him. His iron walls were tough to break, but she was determined to keep working at it. It was all going to take time.

Instinctively, she slid her arms back down, closed her eyes and laid her head against his shoulder. In the moment, she didn’t care if that was too forward. It’s what she wanted. She felt Gajeel’s arms stiffen up for a second at her getting comfortable, but then they relaxed shortly after. There was still a light night breeze blowing, but she could barely feel it because she was encompassed by the warmth of his body. It made her feel safe and at home, even.

Unbeknownst to her, he was silently enjoying carrying her. For one, she was light as a feather to him and honestly, he was confident he could indeed carry her all the way back to the guild hall without breaking a sweat. He glanced down at her face, taking in her peaceful expression as she had her head leaned up on his chest with her eyes closed. He had watched her fight and hold her own a couple times now, but it was moments like these where she looked so innocent and small that made him forget how strong she could be. There was a part of him that wanted to protect her. This girl had been persistent in forming a friendship with him, so it felt only right to return the favor and take her under his wing; keep her safe and watch out for her. 

And that’s what he was gonna do.

Another few silent minutes went by before Genna spoke up to Gajeel, saying, “Gajeel, you really don’t have to keep carrying me. I’m okay to stop for the night.”

“If you’re sure,” he relented. “There’s a spot by the river comin' up that I know. We’ll bunk down there and I’ll get a fire goin'.”

“Sounds like a plan,” she said.

The fire had burned low, its embers glowing like scattered stars in the ash and casting a gentle orange hue over the riverbank. Crickets chirped softly in the distance and the rippling of the water sang in harmony with them.

Gajeel was sitting opposite Genna, his back against a smooth boulder, arms crossed and his head tilted slightly back as he stared at the night sky. Genna sat with her knees pulled up, arms wrapped loosely around them. Her gaze was fixed on the low flames, but her thoughts were elsewhere, thinking about everything that had taken place the day before. It was still sometimes hard to believe that she was really part of Fairy Tail; that she was able to experience all these things like the day at the beach with them. Even though it had only been a couple weeks, it was now hard to imagine how things would be without them.

“You ever wonder where you’d be if things in your life had gone just a little differently?” she asked quietly.

Gajeel’s eyes glanced over to her, his crimson irises catching the light of the fire that made them almost glow. “All the time,” he answered. “And you?”

She nodded slowly. “I think about it, too. If I’d made one wrong turn or one different decision…and maybe if I’d never joined Fairy Tail. Either I’d still be miserable, stuck in my old guild with my dad and my brother, or maybe I’d be just some no-name wanderer in a random town somewhere.”

Gajeel grunted in response. “Nah. You wouldn’t be some no-name. You’d stand out. You always do no matter where you go.”

She glanced over at him, surprised. “You really think so? That’s kind of you to say.”

“Don’t get used to it.” He leaned his head back against the boulder again, staring up at the embers that were floating up from the fire.

Genna couldn’t help but smirk a little. It was sweet hearing him say such nice things about her. She leaned her chin on her knees. “What about you?”

He didn’t answer right away. A long exhale left him and he kept his eyes on the sky. “There were plenty of times I thought I should’ve made a different choice,” he said. “Back when I was with my old guild, especially. I did a lot of things I ain’t proud of. I didn’t...understand what it meant to belong anywhere. I didn’t think I deserved to.”

She watched him silently, not interrupting.

“But if it wasn't for all that, then I wouldn’t have come across Fairy Tail,” he kept going. “They took me in, even after everythin’ I’d done. That change was…confusing. Suddenly havin' people care…trust me…call me a friend. It still is, sometimes.”

Genna nodded. “Yeah. I understand that.”

“I still feel like an outsider sometimes,” he said, his voice low. “Like if I disappeared, things would just keep goin’ fine without me.”

“Maybe they would keep going,” she said softly, “but things would not be fine without you.”

He looked at her then and she met his gaze, her eyes unwavering.

“You matter to them, Gajeel,” she emphasized. “I’ve heard it from some of them myself. You matter to me, too.”

He didn’t look away, but the glint of something in his expression akin to vulnerability was there for just a moment before he leaned back again and exhaled. “You’re annoying when you’re right, Genny.”

Genna smiled faintly. “Get used to it.”

He just let out a little “hmph”, but she saw the slight upward curve of his mouth in the firelight as he closed his eyes.

Looking back at the fire, Genna then said, hugging her knees a little tighter, “You know, I keep thinking about what happened earlier...when my magic acted on its own and merged with yours somehow. It felt like that…maybe that was supposed to happen. Not only that, but the way we fought the serpent together…I feel like we made a great team.”

The Iron Dragon simply hummed back, his eyes remaining closed.

She went on, keeping her eyes on the flames, “Erza even said the same to me before I left. That got me thinking…I know there are a few different small teams in Fairy Tail. Levy has Shadow Gear with Jett and Droy. Natsu has his team with Lucy, Gray, Erza and Wendy. Even Laxus has the Thunder Legion with Fried, Evergreen and Bixslow. They all work great together…and that’s how I’ve felt when I’ve fought alongside you. Back on our first job and even more so today when we took on the sea beast. It’s made me think that maybe…we could do the same. What if you, me and Lily formed a team of our own?”

Genna lifted her head and she looked over at Gajeel…and then grinned and shook her head. He was now fast asleep against the boulder, his light snoring in tandem with the crackling of the fire. This was the man who was so confident he could carry her all night back to the guild hall and after only a few minutes of resting by the fire was already out like a light. That was quite amusing to her. She got the feeling he hadn’t heard anything about her proposal, but that was fine. She figured she’d bring it up to him again later, most likely back at the guild since that would probably be more comfortable for the both of them. Right now, she’d let him sleep and take in the content image before her of him asleep. No stress lines in his face; no anger, annoyance or stoicism at all. 

She stood up, grabbed a blanket from the ground beside him and draped it over him, making sure he’d be kept warm through the night. Then she took a chance and did something she knew she wouldn’t have the courage to do if he was awake: she bent down and lightly kissed his cheek.

“Good night, Gajeel,” she whispered.

After that, she moved over to where she’d been sitting before, grabbed her own blanket and laid down on the ground, ready to fall asleep herself.

However, what she didn’t know was that the feeling of her lips on Gajeel’s skin had caused him to silently wake and he’d registered what she’d done…and he drifted back to sleep with a grin on his face.

[chirpingchorus]

I do not know how I feel about the treatment of my boy. They're not done with him yet, though I guess they're done with that iteration of him... I'm pretty sure there are two separate Vanitases and Replikus? I'll get to that later, I suppose. I loved it when Sora basically called him a weirdo.

I didn't think Arendelle was so bad! Then I realized what I thought was the final boss was actually the mid-boss. It was terrible. If I had to pick which between it and Toy Box was worse, I'd have to just look up whichever takes longer on average.

As amazing as the Caribbean looks, I really hate it when you spend most of a world doing a gimmick instead of the usual combat system. Sure, I don't love the combat in this game, but it's better than using mechs or ships. Now I have to find more crabs so I can level up the ship. I think.

The Caribbean really didn't need to be this expansive. It's cool, I guess, but it makes all the other worlds look quite embarrassing. And, again... Couldn't we have used a little of this disc space for more Twilight Town??

Something seems weirdly off about the writing in this game... I can't really point out what it is. While I love what I've seen of Kairi so far, Sora... I love his writing and I also hate it. It's fairly obvious that he's hiding his true feelings from his friends, who are constantly making fun of him. I really hope that builds up to something satisfying. I also feel like he's overly exuberant in this game? At the start, I thought maybe he was still trying to seem cheerful after failing the Mark of Mastery and almost falling to darkness and all that. But it's continued far into the game, during points where he'd have no reason to mask any deeper emotions. If most of his weirdness is building up to something, I'm excited to see what it is.

I'm not sure what's up with Riku, or even if there is something up with him. My pet theory is that the end of Dream Drop drove an unfortunate wedge between Sora and Riku. (Either that, or this is really weird writing.) We see this separation in-game literally when Sora's forbidden from joining Riku and Mickey to the Realm of Darkness, but we also see it emotionally with Sora's frustration that Riku and the King didn't wait for him. Riku's often the one to start making fun of Sora in the many scenes where everybody dogpiles on him. Sora was super touchy and glad to see Riku before the exam results (and everyone's reactions to them), and now he doesn't seem excited or happy at all when Riku enters the room. (He was, of course, hoping it was Riku calling that one time it was Ienzo, and there is the moment where Riku pacifies him with his hand on his shoulder. But I digress.) Something is off with them now... "Better not let us down," Riku said earlier in the game. Is he kicking Sora while he's down, or is he teasing to try and motivate him like old times? Once more--I hope they explore this further, or I'll feel like I imagined all of this depth! (If it's not explored, I'll probably make a post on it. Or try to find one, at the very least.)

Various other notes: I like Luxord's Nobody earring. I don't like Luxord's official (?) name pronunciation. Larxene's laugh is everything. She is everything. And I was so happy to see Demyx again... There is still good in this world. Oh! And Pooh wants us to be "together forever", but I think he should be less concerned with my whereabouts and more concerned with his rapidly shrinking world. Seriously, it's just a garden now!

In conclusion... I fear I have jinxed myself once again. Definitely not my favorite in the series.

About to play KHIII for the first time... I'm way too emotional for this. The last game in the series before I'm all caught up....... I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that it's not another side game!

[calliecat93]

So thoughts on the new episodes now that I'm back on the bandwagon:

Outfoxed: It was okay. Not my favorite, but it's fine. I LOVED seeing Koki being a nerd about foxes, it's adorable. Also, I think so far, her new VA is doing a fantastic job. It's different from Heather Bambrick, but similar enough to not be jarring and letting the VA do her own take. Also, Gourmand has a dog now? Ugh... can someone call the Humane Society, please? Anyways, pretty standard episode. Not great, but not awful either, and hey foxes!

Clever the Raven: This one was better. It felt like the characters got to do a bit more and thus have more fun character moments. It looks like they're doing more common/North American animals at least so far, which since this was in production during COVID, I guess that's all they could do. Which is fine, there's a lot they haven't done yet that I'm actually surprised they held back on. Also, all the villains (aside from Paisley) just being around for no real reason (not even doing anything evil, just there) and Clever annoying them was the best haha~! I actually learned a good bit about ravens that I didn't know, like their ability to mimic sounds. Overall this was a fun one~

Race To Goat Mountain: This one was pure fun! Since Paisley's intro she's honestly been super underutelized, only having I think two solo appearances and the rest with the others. Which is a bummer because it's meant she's lacked a lot of the personality that the other villains had, so this one REALLY helped make up for a lot. Seeing more interactions with the Bros and Paisley was sorely needed. But yeah, this was so fun~! I laughed so much. From Martin's issues with the Bighorn Sheep suit to the crew acting as commentators to Martin being a total drama queen when he's stuck (seriously, Martin is a riot in this one XD). It's a fun ride from start to finish~!

Owl Odyssey: So due to an accident, the Bros and the girls get rocketed to a faraway land, a LOOONG ways away from the Tortuga and without any gear/equipment/discs aside form the Miniturizer. Jimmy doesn't get included which is a bummer, but I guess someone needs to keep the Tortuga safe haha. This was another really fun one! From the girls annoying Martin to poor Jimmy getitng run out of the Tortuga to the girls thinking that the Bros have gone insane... y'know, more than usual. God there's SO may funny moments XD. I won't spoil too much, but there's also a bit of bro feels and that is an easy way to make a good episode a top-tier one!Not to mention all the owls! They've done some specific ones before, like snowy owls and desert owls, but this one is more broad with a whole variety in different continents. This was a really fun odyssey, loved it~!

So I'd say that Owl Odyssey is the best one for being hilarious, adventurous, interesting, and even a little feelsy while still having a good creature lesson. Then Race to Goat Mountain, then Clever the Raven, and Outfoxed at the bottom since I thought it was the most boring unfortunately. But hey it still did its job of teaching the kids, all four of them did. Which if we have more episodes like the last two in store, this is gonna be a fun season~!

[lemliv]

SUGAR RUSH AU CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS

this is. Very long.

Ranboo (Aka Ranboo Le Quorish)

Candy: Licorice and Taffy !

Powermove: String-Shot

A speed boost that starts fast and gets gradually slower - two licorice poles shoot up from the ground while a string of taffy wraps around them, acting as a sling shot to propel him forward!

Racer type: ??

Go to phrase:

Description:

Ranboo is a racer- at least he thinks he is. Sure he’s never completed a race and glitches the ones he is in but he can’t escape the nagging feeling that he belongs on the race track. That things will be better once he proves that he can finish a race.

For now, however, he’s learning how to be content with his foggy memory, constant glitched state, and watching from the side lines. It’s all he can do after all.

Tubbo (aka Toby Jollypop Jr)

Candy: Green apple Jolly Ranchers and Jaw Breakers

Powermove: Jolly Rollers

A protective shield that forms around Tubbo’s Kart to temporarily make him invincible and causes other players to bounce off

Racer type: Tank

can take a lot of damage at the expense of speed

Go to phrase(s): “Let’s break some jaws!” / “Sugar!”

Description:

Tubbo has a good life. He places well in races, he has a best friend, a nice house, really anything a video game character can ask for. But he can’t shake the feeling of something being wrong. And all signs point to the figure who disappears mid race after messing something up.

With enough determination, and some would argue carelessness, he is determined to figure out who the glitch really is. And more importantly, he’s determined to help him.

Tommy (Aka Tommy Sowers)

Candy: Sour Patch Kids

Powermove: Sour-Sweet-Swift

A basic speedboost! He maintains a higher speed for a short amount of time - its extended the further behind he is

Racer Type: Starter Racer

A type exclusive to Tommy. It makes him available on easy mode at all times (booting out the 9th spot if not on the roster already) Overall he’s a very well rounded but middle ground racer who is assisted by who he races with

Go to phrase(s): “Patch up your karts and let’s get sour!” / “Spice!”

Description:

Tommy is a racer in every meaning of the word. He likes competition, he’s loud and energetic, and he always seems to be going. Tommy loves his life and doesn’t get why others wouldn’t. He gets along with everyone, and wouldn’t mind if everything stayed the same.

Wilbur (aka Wilbur Cin O’Spice)

Candy: Cinnamon Discs

Powermove: Cinnamon and Spice

Wilbur throws up a cloud of spices temporarily blinding nearby racers

Racer type: Skill required

A moderate to eh racer when not properly used, but an amazing one to a devoted player. Has great handling, the kart flows through shortcuts easily, and power move is useful when applied right

Go to phrase: “Let’s spice things up!”

Description:

Wilbur is analytical, if you ask him he was simply coded that way. Always trying to find the best route and path, and figuring out solutions. It’s what he’s known for! So when Phil retired unexpectedly, giving no answers nor reason, Wilbur has determined that it’s now his job to find out why. More importantly, to get him back.

Techno(blade)

Candy: strawberry bon-bon (strawberry granny-candy)

Powermove: Straw-brawl

Temporarily gains more spikes on his kart, making him harder to hit and causing more damage to others

Racer type: Tank

can take a lot of damage at the expense of speed

Go to phrase: less lines - more so lots of noises like HEH when he gets hit and laughter when he hits others

Description:

Techno loves a good challenge, and as of recently races have been lacking. He doesn’t find the same enjoyment that he used to back before Phil stopped racing. So instead, he focuses on studying. Namely other games, but really anything he can study will do. He claims he’s read countless books from around the arcade, and will gladly give the information out if asked.

Phil

Candy: Green Peppermint Candy Canes

Powermove: ?

Racer type: ?

Go to phrase: ?

Description:

Phil used to be a racer. Arguably the best racer in the game prior to his retirement. After disappearing mid race, and not coming back until a week later he made a simple announcement. He would be stepping down as the leader of the racers and wouldn’t be racing for an undisclosed amount of time. Anytime anyone begged for the whys or whats, his lips were sealed, and still are.

Dream

Candy: Toxic Waste and Juicy Drop Pops

Powermove: Toxic Sludge

His kart lets out a liquid that causes racers behind him to slow down, it disappears after a short amount of time

Racer type: Speedy

Fastest karts at the expense of less handling and can't take a lot of punches

Dream has the fastest kart

Go to phrase(s): “Oh come on now- Smile!” / “Some people just can’t handle their sour candy”

Description:

Dream is the new leader of the Sugar Rush racers. When Phil disappeared he noticed how disorganized everything became and jumped to fix it, figuratively keeping the game running during hours. When Phil returned and didn’t take back the position, no one had any opposition to him staying. Dream runs the game democratically, seeing himself as someone to enforce rules rather than solely make them, and he tries his best to make sure everything is fun and perfect for the racers.

Sapnap

Candy: Red Hots

Powermove: Too Red-Hot to Handle

A speedboost that involves flames bursting out of Sapnap’s exhausts speeding him up until they burn out and he slows down quickly

Racer type: Well-rounded

Doesn’t have a particular strength or weakness - just well rounded!

Go to phrase(s): “BOOM BABY!” / “If you can’t handle the heat - get off the track!”

Description:

One of Dream’s closest friends, prior to Phil’s retirement, he was known as a dedicated and passionate racer. Now he’s one of the most trusted advisors for Dream, letting his opinions be heard with a blunt yet passionate emotion-fueled manner.

George

Candy: Blue Raspberry Gummy Rings

Powermove: [unnamed - send in suggestions!]

Temporarily gains the ability to bounce off of objects / racers rather than hitting and slowing down- repeated bouncing also causes a small speed boost

Racer type: Skill required

A moderate to eh racer when not properly used, but an amazing one to a devoted player. Has great handling, the kart flows through shortcuts easily, and power move is useful when applied right

Go to phrase(s): "I could beat you in my sleep!” / “Guess I’ll have to bounce back”

Description:

Dream’s other closest friend, standing in opposition to Sapnap, George could be amazing if he tried at racing a bit more. He’s known for sleeping in and showing indifference towards most things. Though for Dream, he knows George provides an analytical and logical thought process that can’t be beat.

Fundy

Candy: Candy Corn and Caramel

Powermove: Trick or Treat!

Fundy throws a random item from his cart that looks noticeably self made - sometimes it’s catastrophically bad, sometimes it just helps him, and other times it actually might assist a racer nearby !

Racer type: ??

Mysteriously - Fundy’s stats seem to change every so often though, surely it's just people remembering wrong?

Go to phrase(s): “Stay crafty and stay ahead!” / “Clever as a fox and just as sweet!”

Description:

Jack of all trades - master of none suits Fundy relatively well if you don’t take coding into account. Fundy used to be Phil’s advisor on coding when he was the leader, but since his retirement and Dream’s decline of Fundy’s offer to be his advisor, he’s picked up new hobbies. He fiddles and invents things, including messing with his own kart.

With experience that no one else has but his own reservations, Fundy has his own opinions on what’s going on in Sugar Rush.

EXTRA CHARACTERS

Kristin (non-racer)

Description: Bartender at a different video game called Tapper - her and Phil grew close during his break from racing and are now dating. She doesn’t play a big role in the story I just wanted to add her because they’re so sweet.

Jack Manifold (aka Jack Manifold)

Candy/sweet: Bomber pops

Powermove: [send in name suggestions}

Not so much a temporary boost as it is that when you fall off the map with Jack - instead of dying you’re placed back on the track!

Racer type:Speedy

Fastest karts at the expense of less handling and can't take a lot of punches

Go to phrase(s): “The Manifold always comes back!” “Bombs away!”

Description:

Minor rival to Tommy - just designed him because I wanted to. Does have his own track though - it’s cold / ice cream themed.

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (March 1/2021) - Breaking Point

Sam has been unable to find a cause for the security breach, leaving Tommy trapped. A heated argument in the cell escalates to a horrifying end.

As the rest of server mourns, the Eggpire celebrates. With their biggest obstacle in the way of their objective gone, it’s time for the next step.

It’s the start of the Final Stage.

---

VOD LINKS:

HBomb94

Ponk

Tommy

Tubbo

Ranboo

Jack Manifold

Connor

Badboyhalo

Captain Puffy

---

- HBomb hosts Foolish and Jack Manifold’s episode of L’Cast!

---

The Prison Stream

(This portion of the recap will be more detailed than normal since it’s one long conversation and there are many important lines here, including a couple that were hard to hear during the stream)

---

- Tommy’s stream starts with him making sounds and singing “Roadtrip.” Dream tells him to stop, he’s trying to write a book.

Tommy: “What are you writing, Dream? What are you writing?”

Dream: “None of your business.”

- There’s a little gray and white cat sat on the chest. Tommy says it’s annoying.

Dream: “No he’s not...he’s actually the best thing that’s happened to us.”

Tommy: (Trying to lead the cat away) “Come with me, come with me...you know what I named him, don’t you? Pussboy, Pussboy!”

- The cat returns to its spot on the chest

Tommy: “Oh, Pussboy, you are so ugly.”

Dream: “C’mon, you’re being mean!”

(Tommy punches the cat)

Dream: “Tommy! Stop!”

- Tommy starts singing “Roadtrip” in autotune. Dream tells Tommy that if he can be quiet, he’ll give Tommy more potatoes.

Dream: “I think that...the cat is the best thing that’s happened to us.”

- Sam joins the call to say hello and ask how it’s been going. He’s come to drop more food into the cell. Tommy also picks up a new clock.

- Tommy asks to be let out, but Sam says he still hasn’t found out what the security issue is. Dream asks how long Tommy will be in here for. Potentially for a while, but not forever.

- Tommy protests about how bad the prison has been. He threatens to get lawyers on Sam, he knows Big Law.

Tommy: "Sam...you know I don’t deal very well in...close quarters situations for a long time, Sam. Sam, you remember when you visited me in exile, Sam? Alright, this is worse than that, Sam...let me out. I don’t like this. Let. Me. Out. Sam.”

- Sam insists he’s doing the best he can and leaves.

- Dream tries to say that it’s not that bad. He’s been in there for a long time, but now it’s better! Tommy writes a book to Dream, signs it and throws it to him.

Dream: “I have company. I have a cat -- I mean, technically it’s not my cat, technically it’s your cat, but still! It’s just as good, keeps me company when I write and everything, we talk sometimes -- ‘cause you’re annoying a lot of the time--”

- Dream throws away the clock in the lava, saying they don’t need it. Tommy punches the cat again.

Dream: “Tommy, hear me out, hear me out...what if...we get out together, okay?”

- Tommy is not a fan of the idea, Dream shouldn’t be let out too. He goes over to the cat and shouts at it for being in his spot. He punches Pussboy twice.

Dream: “Tommy...TOMMY, STOP!”

Tommy: “Excuse me! Come this way, come this way, excuse me Dream I’m trying to right-click Pussboy--”

(Dream moves to get in front of the cat)

Dream: “Tommy.”

Tommy: “Come here, come here! Do you like this cat, Dream?”

Dream: “Yes, I do.”

Tommy: “Why?”

Dream: “Because he -- Tommy, he keeps me company --”

(Tommy punches Pussboy again and leads him towards the lava)

Tommy: “Pussboy, this way. Pussboy, this way. Let me show you the light--”

Dream: “He’s probably low, he’s probably low!”

Tommy: “Oh what, you love him? Do you love him? Do you love him?”

Dream: “Yes, I do...Tommy, he’s made things better in here -- okay listen! When you leave, can you sit him down and leave him here?”

(Tommy goes over and punches Pussboy again. He tries to lead Pussboy away again, but when the cat doesn’t come he punches Pussboy twice more, killing him)

Tommy: “Yeah. And that’s what happens when you love something, bitch.”

...

Tommy: “See, now when I leave, when I leave, you’ll have nothing! ‘Cause you are lonely, and you’re m-m-manipulative, you’re a fuckin’ twat, and I mean that.”

Dream: “Tommy...I’m gonna get out! And you just motivated me -- you motivated me all the time, you just -- that was hope, right? The cat was hope -- the cat was hope that I could live a nice life in here--”

Tommy: “And now it’s dead, now it’s dead.”

- Dream insists that he’ll get out, and when he does, he’ll get his revenge on everyone who wronged him. Tommy asks if he’d kill Tubbo. 

- The subject goes back to Dream’s plan of escape.

Dream: “I have a plan. And the thing is, Awesamdude’s never gonna believe you that I have a plan because he thinks it’s unbreakable, unescapable--”

“I have a plan. And you know, there’s a certain someone who owes me a favor, but -- that might be a part of it, but...I do have a plan.”

- They argue about the conditions of the prison again. 

Dream: “I’ve been in here a for hundred times longer than you, and you sit there trying to tell me that it’s so horrible, that it’s so bad -- yeah, it was! But guess what, we have each other to talk to, and we had a cat until you fucking killed it!”

Tommy: “Dream...Dream, and listen to this -- fucking engrave this on you, write this into your arms, Dream...You don’t have me. You’ll never have me. We don’t have each other, alright? I am me, and you are this fuckin’ loser who goes around manipulating people, lying to get what he wants. You are a fuckin’ no one, man, alright? And when I’m going to leave here, you’re not! You might have a favor -- you think, who is it, Technoblade’s gonna be able to come in here to let you out -- Technoblade, he doesn’t like governments, but he likes self gain! You think he wants to piss off the owner of the most POWERFUL building on the entire server, just so that he can get a video that BARELY scrapes the five million view mark -- NO, Dream, alright? You’re a fuckin’ asshole, you’re deluded, you’re delusional, and I fuckin’ hate you.”

Dream: “Okay...yeah, but I have something Techno would want, so...it means knowledge, alright?”

- Dream says that even when he’s in here, he’s more powerful than Tommy outside. Tommy replies that if he wanted to, he could kill Dream right now. The only reason he doesn’t is because they need the revive book.

- Dream says that he will never use the revive book to help Tommy or his friends. Ever.

Dream: “So kill me. Go ahead, come on.”

- When if Tubbo dies, Dream says, they’ll come begging for Tubbo to be revived, and Dream will ask to be let out.

- Tommy then says that this isn’t worse than exile, because in exile, Tommy thought Dream had all the power, and Tommy knows something...he thinks the revive book isn’t real. Jschlatt was just a drunk, why would he have this book?

Dream: “Jschlatt gave me the book -- why else would I switch to Jschlatt’s side?!”

...

“I’m not lying! Jschlatt gave me a revive book after...before he died....because...he said--” (he cuts off here)

- Dream asks why he would be lying about that.

Tommy: “You’re a liar! You’re a liar, and really, through your Netherite armor and skin, I look at you and you know what I see? I see a sad little man who’s insecure about the fact that this server has gotten so far ahead of him that his only little glimpse of power in this world is gone. And I see an insecure, sad little man. So fuck off. You stupid green lad.”

Dream: “Your life...is literally in my hands. Does that piss you off? Does that make you mad? Does that make you so mad that I -- if you kill me -- I MIGHT AS WELL BE A GOD, TOMMY! YOU CAN’T KILL ME, AND I CAN KILL YOU! So what does it mean, that you can’t kill me because of the revive book -- what does that mean? If you can’t kill me, does that make me some kind of god?”

Tommy: “No Dream. I could kill you right now. If I wanted to.”

Dream: “Okay. But you won’t. But you won’t! I could kill you if I wanted to! I could kill you right now, actually.”

...

Tommy: “I don’t think this revive book is real. Schlatt? He’s fuckin’ dead. I’ve seen his grave! His grave is real, his corpse is there!”

Dream: “Okay...Why don’t you go see him then?”

Tommy: “NO -- stop it stop it stop it st--”

--- ---

CANON DEATH: TOMMY

Cause: Punched to death

--- ---

End of stream.

---

- Tubbo, Ranboo and Jack see Tommy’s death message in game chat.

- They go to the prison and Sam is there to tell them what happened. Sam couldn’t get there in time. He didn’t think Dream would actually kill him. They’re all in shock. 

- Tubbo and Ranboo think Tommy will be back. There’s no way he’s actually dead, right? 

- Jack Manifold is in celebration. He got what he wanted! He thought Dream would want Tommy alive, and killing Tommy himself would be an extra jab in the chest for Dream, but apparently not? And now he has a hotel!

- He decides to check on Tubbo and makes sure he’s okay. 

- Jack walks down to the shore and looks up at the prison, and...it hits him. He’s spent months plotting to kill Tommy. Jack realizes his victory feels hollow. Even now, Tommy and Dream have managed to take away this from him. 

- Of Ze Haus, he says that this place no longer means anything to him. He gets a flint and steel and sets it alight, watching it burn.

- He passes by Tommy’s house and finds Ranboo planting red and white flowers outside.

- Jack switches into his L’manburg uniform and walks along the Prime Path.

Jack: “I remember the day I joined the server. The day after the first war. L’manburg was still a big hole, and we built it up. And Tommy invited me to join. And I betrayed him (laughs), so really this has all come full circle.”

“Maybe I was always really just upset because I always felt like he cared more about the discs than...anyone. And I guess I just enjoyed it when we were friends...and...I’ve not really had any friends...since...then, really. Never really wanted any.”

- Jack later speaks with Foolish and tells him that Tommy’s never coming back from prison. Foolish didn’t know him too well, but he’s still a bit sad. When anyone passes, it’s sad.

- Jack heads back out into the wilderness, wandering to the beach area at the edge of the forest where Quackity had his argument with Badboyhalo a while back. There’s something just beyond the hill.

- Quackity meets him there and escorts him back home, telling him he was heading too close to something, could have gotten “a nice view of it.”

- He’s been thinking of writing up a draft of their contract. He also sees the new McPuffy’s.

- Jack tells Quackity that Tommy’s not in the prison anymore. Quackity says they need to talk to him and make sure Jack keeps his hotel. As the rain pours, Jack tells him. Tommy didn’t make it.

- Quackity and Jack have a moment in front of Tommy’s house. Though upset, Quackity says it’s time to get back to work.

Quackity: “Jack...don’t let this affect business. The train doesn’t stop.”

Jack: “No, it only goes faster.”

- Jack also speaks with Antfrost. Antfrost gives his condolences, and says he’ll put together a celebration “of life.”

Ant: “Bad and Sam will be happy...to attend, of course!”

- Afterwards, Jack heads down into Karls nightclub and ends stream there.

- Connor speaks with Sam Nook at the hotel.

- Bad meets Ant at the Holy Land. Ant asks if the church would be a good place for a celebration. Ant sits Bad down to tell him. Bad is overjoyed. 

- Bad says that now, they don’t even have to do any preparations: 

They can move into the Final Stage.

- They get milk for the cake and decide to throw the party at Tommy’s house!

- They meet with Sam at the prison entrance. He sounds dejected.

Sam: “I didn’t think Dream would ever actually...try and kill him”

Bad: (laughs) “Is this the same Dream we’re talking about? It’s Dream, Sam.”

Sam: “I mean...Dream had...I thought I had...broken the will out of him, to do something like that. But he...he did.”

- He says they need to find out what it was -- he wandered around the prison several times and couldn’t find any sign that someone had done something.

- Ant and Bad try to reassure Sam that Tommy signed the waivers, he went to see Dream, and Sam shouldn’t blame himself. Sam doesn’t see it that way.

- They say they’ll talk to Sam later and leave the prison. They see Sam Nook at the hotel. Sam is excited about the new upgrades for the hotel! Tommy will be so excited to see them!

- They return to Tommy’s house and speak with Punz as they make a party floor and sing the Crab Rave song in dudududus.

- Meanwhile, Captain Puffy is grieving, feeling like she failed Tommy. As she logs on, Bad and Ant decide that Puffy might want to join them for the party! 

- Punz meets them there, and they tell him that Tommy’s dead. Punz isn’t sure how he feels, it’s bittersweet.

- Puffy arrives and angrily tells them to leave. What’s wrong with them?!

- The Eggpire sees Sam Nook at the hotel and goes up the floors to find a place to party. Puffy comes up and tells them to find another place to party. They argue again.

- Foolish arrives to visit his room in the hotel. Puffy leaves them. They quarrel about who has the room for the night.

- Puffy mines down the Eggpire’s meeting room. She’s noticed that being a hero hasn’t worked. Sparing people, being merciful, it hasn’t worked. She might need a change of perspective. 

- The Eggpire decides to visit the Egg and break the news to it. They see the wreckage, but Puffy is in the Nether by the time they get there.

- Puffy visits Logsted.

- The Eggpire goes down to the Egg Room and finds the pathway blocked up with obsidian...is this why the Vines have been slower to grow lately?

- They break the barrier and find the Egg drenched in water. They wake up the Egg and it speaks.

“This world is mine. It belongs to me.”

“No no no, I know, but we’ve got something to tell you!”

“I see all...I...am...all...”

“Oh so you--”

“I know all.”

“You know then! Guess -- well, we’ll tell you anyway in case you don’t know -- but guess what? Tommy’s dead! Dream -- the green guy, you met him -- killed him in the prison! I guess Tommy got stuck there, and Dream killed him! Are you happy?"

“Feed me...I require nourishment.”

“No no no, don’t worry -- that’s coming soon! We’ll take care of that! We’re already gonna begin the preparations, right guys? Yeah, we’re gonna begin the preparations, and we’ll send out the invitations, we’ll let everyone know...and the final stage can commence! This is wonderful!”

- Once on the surface, Bad announces that with a little more preparation, they’ll all get exactly what they want. The final stage is about to commence. 

The day of celebrations, the day they’ve been preparing for, the day the Egg has been preparing for, is about to happen...

- Bad goes down to the Egg Room one last time and stands at the Egg to give a final speech.

“Everything leading up to this point, EVERYTHING, all the way going back to the discovery of this...beautiful, luxurious Egg, okay...we had it all planned. As soon as we found it, we knew what was gonna happen. We knew the objective...”

“We may have forgotten what it was, forgotten the ultimate goal as soon as we boxed the Egg up in obsidian. But guess what -- that didn’t stop the Egg! Boxing it up only made it STRONGER, and LARGER, and more powerful! And the Egg’s been storing up that energy, okay? You may have been thinking the Vines have not been spreading...but that’s because we haven’t WANTED them to spread. We have been working, storing energy, storing power...in preparation for the final plan. The final objective. And there were only a couple people getting in the way. But guess what? One of the biggest obstacles -- Tommy -- is no longer in the way...now that he’s not in the way, we can commence with the final stage...the final party...before it all comes to a conclusion...”

“Brace yourselves...everybody on this server, prepare. Anyone who is anti-Egg...you guys better get ready, because we know who you are. And at the end of the day, the Egg is gonna be victorious. And there’s nothing ANYBODY can do to stop it.”

“Good luck.”

[twstarchives]

Happy Birthday・Epel

Card: Birthday Attire - SSR Characters: Epel & Yuu. Mentioned: Vil, Leona

Chapter 1

—POMEFIORE DORM - BIRTHDAY PARTY VENUE—

NRC Campus News Interview with the Birthday Student ~Epel ver.~

Yuu: Happy birthday!

Epel: Thank you. I feel a little embarrassed... I’ll get people coming up and wishing me a happy birthday just by walking through the halls.

Did your family do anything to celebrate?

Epel: Yeah, they sent a letter and a bunch of apples.

My family lives on an apple farm that’s been around for generations. We grow all kinds of varieties all year round, so they send me some this time of year too.

But there were way too many for one person to eat, so I’ve been handing them out to people I know around the school...

I passed them out to all my classmates and the magift club, but I’ve still got some left over.

Please let me know if you know of anybody who might want to take a few.

Could you tell us about your family next?

Epel: Mawmaw and Pawpaw—er, I mean! There’s my mother and father, my grandfather, grandmother...

My great-grandma, my uncle and his wife and son. We all live together.

All of us work on the farm. But it’s so huge that we’re still kind of short on hands.

Since the neighborhood’s made up of farmers, everyone helps each other out during the busy season.

We all feel really close because of that, like we’re one big family.

We have a thank-you party for everyone after the busiest harvest season of the year. Everyone brings their harvests, or small dishes...

It’s huge celebration, almost like a festival! Gee, there ain’t nothin’ as fun as—ah! I mean, it’s a lot of fun... I think?

Is it difficult to harvest the apples?

Epel: The apple trees on my family’s farm are really tall, so I guess it is... maybe. It’s real tiring going up and down the ladder.

But not when you use magic. You can hop a broom and fly from tree to tree, which makes picking them really easy.

My grandma and great-grandma can use magic, so they’ve always been the ones in charge of the high-up places.

When I was little, I really wanted to help the two of them, so everyday I got on a broom and jumped up and down...

Then one day, I really flew!

Ever since then the three of us have been doing any harvesting you need to fly for.

Chapter 2

—POMEFIORE DORM - BIRTHDAY PARTY VENUE—

What’s your favorite food?

Epel: BBQ! It’s so darn divine! Gets my mouth waterin’, it’s that good!

Back home we’d round up my family ‘n the neighborhood folk, all the parents, ‘n kids ‘n do a whole lotta barbecues, all of us.

We’d all sink our teeth into the chunks o’ meat we grilled over the charcoal.

There ain’t nothin’ better than wolfin’ ‘em down like that!

Also ‘cause our vegetables are fresh that day, grillin’ them is enough to get ‘em nice and sweet.

So they’re real delicious without needin’ to add anythin’ to ‘em!

I can tell you really love it.

Epel: Ah...! B-But, actually, I love macarons the most...

What do you like about macarons?

Epel: Th-They’re cute, you know? And sweet, and they have all kinds of flavors...

...They’re not really filling, though.

What else do you like besides food?

Epel: Magical wheels... maybe.

They look mighty, and their movements are powerful too. And yet they can make such swift turns...

When I was little, I thought “Those look so cool!” and dreamt about getting one.

Sometimes the people who own one in my neighborhood let me ride on theirs.

The first time I got to go on one, it left me so excited I couldn’t sleep that night.

Ahh... Someday I want to have one of my own.

Chapter 3

—POMEFIORE DORM - BIRTHDAY PARTY VENUE—

What club are you in?

Epel: The magical shift club. It’s so much fun!

It’s exciting going up against players bigger than me, and there’s nothing more motivating than scoring a goal!

But I really sucked when I first joined, and I’d get hurt any time I tried going in for the disc...

Vil-san would give me an earful for “not taking care of myself” whenever I’d scratch up my nose or cheeks.

Since I was always getting scolded, I stopped going after the disc head-on and instead practised a style where I make surprise attacks on my opponents.

And just the other day, I managed to nicely dodge a player that was trying to stop me...! I was so proud of myself~!

On top of that, Leona-san told me that I could play in our next game!

I don’t get hurt or get scolded by Vil-san as much anymore, so I think I’ve improved a lot since I first joined!

Be careful about getting hurt, okay?

Epel: Thank you, but I’ll be fine. Nobody’s got more guts than me!

I’ve been teased my whole life for seeming “weak” just because of how I look...

But I kept going up against students older and stronger than me without ever giving up... and finally, I turned the tables on every single one of them!

Soon I started getting called “The Poisoned Apple of the Felmier Family” around the school.

It means “despite how he looks, he’s fearsome and persistent.” Ahaha.

Thank you for sharing all of this with us. Once again, happy birthday!

[mcmoth]

BOIS

The aro c!Tommy propoganda is done.

Here:

Friends can be Home, too

Summary:

Love. The thing that supposedly drove the world, that made everyone happy. He thought he knew love. But maybe… maybe not. Maybe there has been something deeply, intangibly wrong about him this whole time, and he hadn't even known. Not to this extent.

'Cause he knew before. Knew it in the unease in his bones, and the panic in his brain, and the annoyed buzz in his chest. But… but he had doubted.

 He couldn't doubt anymore.

A journey of introspection, self doubt, and realizing you're not alone.

Or read on ao3!

Warnings: swearing, internalized arophobia, which includes self doubt, a bit of self hate, that sort of stuff. Also, this will have like, mentions of attraction and all that stuff, and Tommy gets pretty confused, so if you'd like to avoid that? This isn't the fic for you, ig. Btw, as a reminder, this is all set in the dsmp universe and is not about the irl people in any way.

Now onto the fic!

Welp.

Tommy sure is ready to stab someone right now.

Well, not really. More accurately he wanted to run, or shrivel up into a fucked up raisin, or snap, or just exist in darkness right now. Because there were his two best friends, cuddling on the couch. And he was sat there, next to them, supposed to be enjoying movie night.

It's not like he wasn't happy for them. They can do what they want, he reminded himself, again and again. They're just expressing their love, they're just close, and Tommy has to stop being such a fucking oddball about it. This wasn't weird. It wasn't weird.

And he could even see Ranboo giving him looks, probably about to ask something stupid. But if he made any comment, expressed discomfort, that would just be him being a dick and a weirdo. He's not going to ruin this for them. He just has to… to ignore it. To ignore it. He can do that. Yes.

“You alright, Tommy?”

Tommy's jaw snapped, he could feel his teeth grinding, and the couch was feeling all too small. So with a fast raise to his feet, he stumbled away, throwing a brash “fine" Ranboo's way, something burning deep in the pit that was his chest.

It was fine. It was fine. Why wasn't it fine? What the fuck was wrong with him??

Maybe he was just…

Jealous.

 

***

 

“I think I have a crush on Hannah.”

Tubbo and Ranboo stilled. The silence was… bad.

“oh?”

Tommy gulped, anxiously crinkling the chip bag he got from targay. “Y-yeah.”

Tubbo hummed. “I've never seen you interact with her much. When… did that start?”

Tommy's mind buzzed, and he resisted crushing the food in his hands, reclining heavily against the backrest of the bench. “I-I don't know, uh, recently? I guess? She's just… nice. She uh…. Has pretty hair? And she gave me a flower once! That was just, swe- uh, poggers of her, so. Yeah. I just think… yeah.”

Tubbo nodded, head tilting. “Do you think she likes you back?”

Tommy's eyes widened, and he didn't know why he laughed, but he did, and when he responded, he himself was taken aback by the hiss accompanying the words. “No!! She- why would- no- no, I mean… m-ma- I don't know??”

Ranboo swung his tail. “She better not. I mean, how old is she?”

“What does that matter?”

Ranboo stared. “You’re a child. Technically.”

Tommy bristled. “Fuck you, I am a big man! I'll kill you!”

The conversation moved on after that, and Tommy, somewhere along the way, quickly got lost. Head filled with cotton, electricity running through his veins, feeling horribly, oddly, humiliated and strangely… dissatisfied.

They didn't care. And he just felt more confused than ever.

…Why did he even do that?

 

***

 

Tommy was walking, grass up to his knees, a lead in hand. When he reached the village, he tied it to a fence, patting his borrowed horse before placing feet on the path, comforted by the gravel crunching beneath his feet, the feel of the sun on his neck. He looked around, at the wooden houses and half stacked stalls and idle chatter. He looked around and he thought.

He thought back to older days. This was… strangely nostalgic. Walking alone, in an unfamiliar town, the vastness of the world enveloping him in it's many potentials. He still wasn't sure when he felt better. Running around on the streets, just trying to survive, noone by his side, weak but naïve, hopeful. Or now, with some people to care for and trust, a place to return to, enough food in his pack, but shouldered with the weight of a dozen betrayals, life slipping past him three times too many. In a sense, he was still just trying to survive. Everything was so different now, yet the same.

He supposes, one thing that remained, was the sense of loneliness.

He grasped the front of his shirt, taking in the beating of his heart, looking at the strangers mingling amongst themselves. At the pairs, at the couples, at the families, sharing laughs and smiles, a contrast to the furrowed brows or tired amusement of shopkeepers and the idle folk visiting them.

He had always wanted a family.

…there was one way to get a family.

Someone to share laughs with. Someone who would comfort you. Someone who would take your hand, or hold you through the night, and never even leave. Someone who promises to stay.

It was a nice thought.

So why was it so hard to conceptualize? To imagine, to picture someone actually coherent, to look at a person and go – yes. I want to be your partner.

...eugh. just that sentence made his whole nervous system do a double take.

But why? Why? Was it the betrayals? Was it some fucked up self conscious mind shit? Was that it? Was he just fucked up in the head? Maybe.

Maybe.

But as it is, he knew he liked girls. He did. He liked them. They were… they were nice. Like Niki, who smelled of baked goods, and had a soft smile, and who had once given him a hug when she found him crying during the revolution, and who looked very nice in dresses. Or Puffy, who had made him a pickaxe when he asked for one, and who opposed Jack in stealing his hotel, and who offered him therapy, and she had really cool horn rings. Or Hannah, with her red flowers, and pretty builds, and the way the nature seemed just a bit more lively with her around, and her laugh was bright with mischievous intent that he could empathize with. They… they were nice. Yeah. Most girls were so nice.

So why… why hadn't he found one that he could. Actually picture doing… anything. In his head. No kissing, no dates, none of that… shmuck. It was just… he could see many girls his age running around, just now, in front of his eyes, many running through his mind as he searched his memories. None of them… no. And he tried thinking of boys, but that didn't… no. Not that either. …Enbies?

No… no, nothing… nothing felt. Good. None of it felt good, he just felt sick, he just felt weird, he didn't even feel dirty per se, but more like he was charting into foreign grounds, into something alien, and none of the thoughts he forced to visualize behind his eyelids, fleeting from how quickly he shut them out, felt like him. It didn't feel like him.

His fingers trembled, his chest felt tight, throat choked, and his head, on his shoulders, heavy and woozy and oh so muddled. He felt his heart race. Was… was that it? Maybe that was a sign. People said heart racing was a sign of attraction. Was there anyone in particular who did that? Maybe he was wrong – he was not lacking or messed up or broken, he just had buried the feelings so deep below his ribs, underneath fabricated doubts and trauma and the disconnect he had with reality and relationships in general, and once he got over those barriers, and just found someone, he would experience that joy that everyone spoke about. That closeness. He just had to… allow himself to get closer. To know more people, know them better.

That was… that was probably it.

But no matter. He raised his eyes, his senses coming back to him like the wind blowing his hair out of his eyes, blinking at the noise around him.

After all, he still came here for a reason.

 

***

 

“Yeah, I like these ones the best,” Tubbo said as he handed Tommy the various colored discs. Tommy nodded, smiling as he sorted through them, writing down the names in his notepad, feeling little stones dig into his elbows. Tubbo joined him fully on the ground, laying down next to him. “What do you need these for, anyways?” he blinked, and there was a smirk growing on his face. “Are they for… someone?”

Tommy furrowed his brows, staring at the other. “What?”

Tubbo chuckled nervously, waving his hand around as he stumbled over his words. “You- you know. Like a gift? Are you going to… to try to, get someone?”

Tommy’s stare just became sharper, becoming even more confused. “What??” What the fuck was he talking about?

“You know, like a- a date?” Tommy blanked. “Cause- you know, you've been talking about girls a lot lately, and I just thought-"

“No.” Tommy interrupted, feeling numb. “No, it's not for a fucking girl.”

“Oh.” Tubbo laid on the grass, clearly uncomfortable. He began to tear up the leaf he had picked up. “Sorry, I just thought- I'm not really good at this whole thing… sorry for assuming. W- …what is the reason, then?”

Tommy sighed, thankful for the topic change. “It's for… you know how I’m going to therapy?”

Tubbo hummed in affirmation.

“Puffy suggested that, since I like music, I should like, indulge in that, use it to calm myself or give myself something to do, that junk. So I’ve just been. Collecting, I guess.” He looked over the list again, then closed the notepad and sat up, discs in hand. “I wanna build a place where I just keep all the records, maybe I’ll even sell the ones I don't like. Good business practice, you know?”

Tubbo brightened. “Oh! That sounds really cool! If you need help with the building part, I can help you, by the way!”

Tommy looked at Tubbo's grin, so sweet and infectious, and his heart thawed, thinking of working with Tubbo again, building towards something together. It was a nice thought. “Alright.”

It would be nice to be with Tubbo again.

 

***

 

Tommy felt miserable.

This… this was miserable. He didn't know why. It really shouldn't be – it was just music. He was just sorting through all of his music, picking ones he liked, picking ones to comfort him, he loved music, it was fine, it just…

Why did so many of the songs have to be about love.

It made him feel angry and hurt and alone in a particular way that was so familiar and yet so utterly different. Because when he felt alone before, he fought with himself the same, he sunk into the thoughts of being unlovable or broken or undeserving of company, but at least he could understand it. At least he could look back now and think “Dream was a bitch" and that would be some solace. At least he could have hope that even if he was unlovable, he could still love. Love others. Try to seek others. Even if he never got that back.

But now, hearing all the poetics and sweet confessions that were in such abundance, something that sounded so passionate and revered, so integral, it was like looking into another reality he didn't, couldn't, understand, and suddenly, he felt more alien than ever before.

And most importantly, how fucking stupid that was, that the thing that made him feel that way was love.

Love. The thing that supposedly drove the world, that made everyone happy. He thought he knew love. But maybe… maybe not. Maybe there has been something deeply, intangibly wrong about him this whole time, and he hadn't even known. Not to this extent.

Cause he knew before. Knew it in the unease in his bones, and the panic in his brain, and the annoyed buzz in his chest. But… but he had doubted.

He couldn't doubt anymore.

God….

He laid on the ground, head to the cold floor, the record still spinning. The noise bounced off the dark wooden walls and into his skull, grating and aching. He covered his ears, messed up his hair, breathed in and out. In and out. What was wrong. What was wrong.

The record fell to silence. Then it started back again, as it automatically swapped out. Next.

His fingers felt restless, his whole body did. He tapped his skull, feeling the thumps echo. Breathe in, and breathe out. Breathe-

“-ow will I ever know you enough to love you, if you're hiding who you are?

Don't ask me to explain-"

He startled, his breath catching. This disc was scratchier than the others. It felt different. Something in him drew in the lyrics, head loud. He blinked.

…He's not hiding. Is he? Hiding what? He’s- no. Just- Breathe in-

“-Who are you hiding from, across the table with a penny in each eye?

Don't ask me to explain, don’t ask me to explain-"

His breath escaped, arms trembling as his body froze. He didn't understand. He couldn't explain. He wanted to cry. Something was unravelling.

“I'd like to marry all of my close friends, and live in a big house together by an angry sea,”

He sobbed.

He did, he thought, with surprise, as the tears fell.

“Am I the devil's marbles don't move on without me,

Who will be watching my body when I sleep?

Who will I believe in?”

Something… yeah.

Something happened.

Because suddenly, all that stress, all that confusion, all that loathing, was detangling, and the tears ran deep, ran painful, silent, wheezing screams escaping as the sobs continued. He couldn't breathe. His chest was tight. His head swam, and he felt oh so light headed. Light. He felt light. Happy. He felt alive.

He felt understood.

He- he wanted that! He could- he wanted to live with his friends, with Tubbo with Ranboo. He wanted to stay as friends. He wanted them to protect him, to be able to trust them, to be able to protect them in turn, he wanted to reside with them, he wanted to sleep amongst them, to have them watch over him, safe, he wanted to wake up in the morning and see the sun rise with then, he wanted to have casual dinner with them, he wanted to grow old together with them. As friends. As friends.

Friends.

What a lovely thing…

He could… he could live with his friends…

He could build a family with his friends.

And he didn't even care at that moment that he didn't know how Tubbo and Ranboo would feel about that. He didn't care whether they'd want him at their house, whether they'd want him around at all. He didn't even care, at that moment, if he couldn’t join them.

Because he realized that it was a possibility at all. Just the prospect, just the thought, the realization, that spending your life, being intimate, finding a stable ground, with your friends, not romantic partner, was possible, that it was possible to not be able to feel otherwise, that it was shared by other people, who wrote this song, who sung it, who had thought about it…

It meant he couldn't be that alone after all.

“It's so easy to lie to myself,

And pretend that I could love you, but I can't"

And oh so comforting it was, that he couldn't.

 

***

 

“Ey, Ranboo! Bitchboy!”

Ranboo suppressed a smile, an exasperated sigh hissing through his teeth. Tail swishing, he glanced to the other boy, who was down below, standing in the snow.

“C'mere!! I gotta give you something.” He yelled.

Ranboo raised a brow, but complied, closing the window he had been looking out of. After making a quick detour to check on Michael, he made his way down the stairs and stepped out of the doorway and into the light. Tommy bounded to him, big grin on his face. He seemed jumpier than usual. Ranboo smiled in turn. “what is it?”

Tommy opened his mouth, then closed it, instead going to rummage through his bag. What he took out was a… box? “Here, fuckboy.”

Ranboo winced, taking the container. “Don't call me that.”

“Why, what does it mean?”

Ranboo stared. “Just…. Don't.”

Tommy blinked, laughing nervously. “o-okay.”

Moving on, Ranboo inspected the item in his hands. It was medium sized, and made of simple, but elegant, smooth black wood. On the top, there was a leather sign embedded in it, with the word Beloved stitched into it. His ears flickered. This seemed… awfully nice. “What’s in it?”

Tommy scoffed. “Just open it, you twat.”

Ranboo, with a glance, could see the anxious way Tommy was holding himself, seeming impatient and uncomfortable. So he wasted no more time, and clicked open the surprisingly sturdy iron latch after a moment of struggling, and what awaited him inside was…

“…Discs…?”

Ranboo held his breath, fingers twitching as he held the gift. …was it a gift?

Tommy was staring at the ground. “Yeah. You know, I’ve just been traveling around, collecting, and I wanted to…” He seemed to shake himself lightly, hands wringing. “I wanted to give you some, I guess. That… yeah. These are yours.”

Ranboo was stiff, still perceiving the actual gift in his hands, that looked hand made, that was hand picked, that Tommy had worked to attain, just to give to him. His tail curled, and he carefully, delicately closed it's lid and hugged it close to his chest. “I… Thank you. Thank- O-oh wow…”

Tommy scowled. “You look like a fish. It's not a big deal. Just… take a listen sometime, won't ya?”

“Y-yeah!” Ranboo reverently nodded, cursing the way his eyes felt misty. “Yeah, I’ll… I’ll definitely listen, and cherish it. Thank you, Tommy.”

Tommy curtly nodded. “Alright. Pog.” And then, he was turning around, walking away with a quick “Share it with your family, too, some day. Bye.” Thrown or his shoulder.

And then, he was gone.

 

***

Tubbo heard music down the hall.

Ears tilting towards the pleasant sound, he skipped with bare feet over to the source, evening light casting warm glow through the windows as he went. When he arrived, to what was Michael's bedroom, he found Ranboo on the couch, curled gently over their son, head resting on his little head as he seemed to just… listen, wistful. Michael was listening too, letting out a little yawn as he turned his head to snuggle even deeper into his parent's warm embrace. Tubbo smiled softly at the scene.

Quietly, he patted over to them both, Ranboo eventually noticing him and watching him as he did. Tubbo buried a hand in Ranboo's hair, and the other leaned in. “What are you listening to?”

Ranboo didn't rush to explain, letting the comforting silence fill the space. When he spoke, it reminded Tubbo of soft flower petals and honey. “I didn't know Tommy's music taste was so…”

Tubbo blinked, turning to the disc lazily turning on the jukebox near them.

“-But in the end, I don't really care what you think,

Cause the bottom line is you make me happier than I’ve ever been...”

“wholesome.” He chuckled, fondly.

Tubbo hummed, unsurprised. “Tommy gave you these?”

Ranboo leaned more heavily in the couch. “Yeah. I don't know why, but…”

Tubbo's smile only deepened as he thought. Slowly, he replied, “I think he just wanted to show you he cared.”

Ranboo seemed to lose his breath a little, looking up at the other. “You think so…?”

Tubbo carded his fingers through Ranboo's hair, looking past Ranboo's twitching ears. “Tommy doesn't do things like these without reason. If he gave you something, it’s safe to say you mean a lot to him. He doesn't like to show it, usually, but… that I know.”

Ranboo stared at the turning of the discs, breathing softly. His tail curled around Michael. “Oh.”

Tubbo sat down at his feet and joined in.

Hearts warm, they laid there and listened until the sun had cast it's last rays and the jukebox no longer had a melody to spin.

 

***

 

Tommy sat behind the counter, feet on the counter, just trying to eat his discount chips while some people were being dumb children.

“Stop throwing the fucking food! I'll have to clean this up later!” He whined, to which Tubbo and Ranboo just threw him a glance, Tubbo’s apathetic and Ranboo's at least vaguely guilty, before Tubbo went right back and threw another gummy worm Ranboo's way.

Tommy scowled. “Seriously. At least pick them up and eat them.”

Ranboo made a face of disgust. “I'm not gonna eat candy off the floor, Tommy.”

“Yeah, some of us don't eat mud, Tommy.” Tubbo added.

“There’s no fucking mud here! It's a clean floor! You can totally pick them up and eat them, what the fuck!”

Tubbo raised his brows, staring. “Okay, then go and eat them, trash boy.”

“Okay, that's it.” Tommy raised to his feet, left his chip bag on the table and ran to Tubbo. Tubbo squawked, crawling onto the armchair he was reclining in to curl into a ball around his bag, but Tommy just threw himself onto the armchair with him, trying to reach for the candy. Which, considering the position, it was more like he was half-tickling, half hugging the other more than anything. “Give me that.”

Tubbo just burst out laughing, trying to hide deeper into the couch, attempting to kick the other away. “St-Stoppp!”

“C'mon, you disobeyed my shop's rules, I’m just confiscati-"

Something hit his head. Tommy stilled.

Ranboo peeked from behind his own candy bag, before digging into it again.

Tommy laid off of Tubbo slightly, raising like a puffed up cat. “Ranboo, you fuck!”

Tubbo laughed again, and Tommy was about to go on a murder spree, only for all the commotion to halt when they heard a sudden 4th voice.

Michael.

“Oh shit.”

Ranboo sighed. “He's awake. C'mon.”

Tubbo sighed as well, rolling out of the couch and dragging his feet towards the source of the oinks. “For the record, this is not my fault.”

Both of the other boys gave him the stink eye, but in the name of preserving needed ceasefire they held their tongues.

Michael was sitting up in Tommy's bed that resided in the backrooms, rubbing sleep out of his eyes and hiccuping. Tubbo reached for him, lifting him up. “Aww, did we wake you up? I'm sorry, little bossman.”

Michael clutched Tubbo's shirt, muttering something in piglin.

���He's asking what all that noise was.” Tommy quickly translated, before turning his eyes back to the kid and saying something soft in piglin back. Michael listened, seeming to quiet a little.

Ranboo, gathering that it was an affirmation, smiled and took one of Michael's hooves gently. “Yeah, we were just having fun. Do you want to have fun, too, Michael?”

Michael’s big eyes widened, and he wiggled in Tubbo's grip. “Ye! Ye!”

They chuckled, and Tubbo transferred his hold of Michael to Ranboo, who led the way in making it back to the front of the shop, chatting with his son all the while.

Tommy bumped his shoulder with Tubbo's as they walked, but didn't say anything further. Tubbo bit back a grin.

The next hour was spent feeding Michael and letting him listen to some new discs. Tommy even remembered he had some records that were in piglin, some songs, some stories, and put them on, which seemed to enrapture Michael quite a bit, immersed in the new voices and tales and familiarity. The three boys let him sit in Ranboo's lap and get lost in his own world, residing on a couch together and quietly chatting, around them comfortingly dark walls, bookshelves and the smell of wood and candles.

Eventually, the conversation steered.

“You know, Tommy, why don't you join us?”

…huh?

Tommy blinked, willing his breathing to restart and for the words to come. “W-what?”

Tubbo looked at him with warm eyes and a trepidant smile. “Like, how would you feel about coming to Snowchester? Live with us?”

Ranboo waved his hand. “Of course, you don't have to! But we just thought, you know, if you'd like a bit more, uh, company…”

“We want to be with you, is all.” Tubbo added quietly.

Tommy's heart raced, and he only blinked more, hands clutching the fabric of his pants. “B- be with me… are you…” he gulped down the butterflies clogging down his windpipes, still trying to understand that this is real. “are you sure…?”

Ranboo grinned, patting Michael's head idly. The piglin looked up at them. “Yeah! You're family, Tommy, after all.”

Tubbo tilted his head. As Tommy was still struggling to respond, he assured, “You don't have to if you don't want to, big man. No pressure.”

Tommy laughed, weak and breathless, but bright. “No, I-I’d- I'd really want that, but…” he gestured, trying to put his worries to sudden coherent sentences. “wouldn't that be… awkward? Like… you two, just, l-lovebirds," he chuckled clumsily, “and then there's… me, just, there?”

Tubbo shared a look with Ranboo, then turned back and laughed. “You won't be a third wheel, if that's what you’re asking.”

“Yeah, it's not like we’re really romantic partners, even, it'll be fine.” Ranboo said.

Tommy stilled.

Blinked.

“Uhw- what?”

The other two tensed, Tubbo quickly glancing at his husband before grimacing, thinking deep on how to explain it. “You know, we… we're not really… romantic? We just decided to marry? But we're… not platonic either, it's…”

“I-It's something inbetween. Queerplatonic is the word? I think?”

“It's hard to explain-"

“There's- there's a word for that? And you were- Like. Friends? Living together, this whole time??” Tommy reeled, head in hand.

“Well, not exactly friends, or at least, with how we decide to label our relationship, but… yes?”

“Oh my-" Tommy slumped forwards, now both of his hands holding his head upright, just. Breathing. “Shit. What the fuck. I…” he laughed, wrecked.

Tubbo and Ranboo stared at him, uncomfortable. Tubbo frowned. “Look, if you… if you're gonna say something, I’d rather-"

“No- nono, it's…” he raised his eyes, slowly, like coming out of a cave and into the light. His words tripped upon his tongue, but he was so eager to know. “So you two don't want… romantic partners?”

They blinked. “Not… particularly, no.” Ranboo replied. “…are you okay?”

Tommy laughed. It sounded stilted even to his ears, senses muddled as he was wrapped up in his own head, his own elated feelings, his heart nearly bursting at the seams. “I-I’m not alone.”

Tubbo stared, but then his eyes softened. He sighed, and his smile was immensely gentle, while looking at his friend. “Oh, Tommy…” Ranboo, beside him, wilted the same.

Michael, inbetween them, looked at all three of them silently.

“…Do you want a hug?” Tubbo quietly offered.

Tommy quickly nodded, slumping into Tubbo's side and burying his face in Tubbo's soft hair, not even caring for the way one of his horns poked into his cheek slightly. He held the other, and Tubbo held him. He felt the end of Ranboo's tail drape over his leg.

With a delicate tone and worn vocal chords, he quietly, and simply, admitted. “I'd love that. I'd really love that. Living with you three.”

Tubbo tightened his hold.

That night, Tommy fell asleep not alone, but with his two other closest people, his family. Safe, warm, with that insistent nagging at the back of his chest cavity, that told him he was alone, that he was wrong about himself, that he never even knew himself at all, finally silenced.

He had never felt more at home.

[peaktotheocean]

post-production

Pairing: Jaskier/Geralt ao3 link here Notes: If you ever watched the Lord of the Rings behind-the-scene discs and thought “I wish there was a 12K Witcher AU where Jaskier is the famous actor who buys a horse for Geralt the horse trainer” then you’re in luck

Jaskier knew that he would miss the stable the most. After weeks of filming on location, surrounded by crew and actors that Valdo had already poisoned against him, the stable had become a respite of sorts.

No matter the smells (the many, many smells), Jaskier would always remember the sun beams shining through the high windows and illuminating the dust and dirt to shine on the horses. Jaskier had tried and failed many times to capture the moment on his phone— to the point where he was convinced that it was impossible. He would just have to burn the sight into his memory.

Jaskier had just one more day in this stable and on set and then he could sort of what he wanted to do with the rest of his life.

Certainly not acting.

Five blockbusters in four years and Jaskier's exhaustion knew no bounds. Not to mention people he thought were his friends just clinging to him for a ride.

He had meant for his career to be music and yet here he was on what he considered the wrong marquees.

Taking a small acting job offered by a friend in order to help pay rent had escalated into a full career and never worrying about rent again.

But then there was Valdo.

Jaskier had only started hearing about the rumors during the second week of the shoot. And by, then it had been too late. Valdo's charisma and charm took hold and Jaskier wasn't to be trusted. Was he a thief? A gossip? A drunk? A backstabber? It depended on which rumor went around that morning.

"Last day, darling."

"What?" The horsemaster's gruff tone was shorter than usual today.

"Sorry. I was--" Jaskier broke off. He didn't want to say it aloud. Which was silly because he had seen Geralt speaking to his own horse, Roach many mornings. Not to mention afternoons and evenings and any other time they were shooting scenes and Geralt was brought on set to stay with the horses. "I was just telling Pegasus that it's our last day with the horses. Or my last day, I suppose."

"Hmm."

Jaskier already missed the grunts. It was unclear if Geralt disliked him because of Valdo's rumors. But truthfully, the horsemaster hadn't seemed to have taken a shine to anyone over the course of shooting.  

Well, not any humans, at least.

He doted on all the horses. Roach in particular, and Jaskier couldn't blame him. She was a sweet mare and if Jaskier hadn't been assigned his darling Pegasus, he would have liked a chance to ride Roach as well.

But of course not. She was Geralt's favorite and Valdo's mount.

Not that the actor cared. The animals were more like props than living beings to him. Jaskier didn't like thinking about the amount of times he had seen Valdo curl his lip at Roach.

Just Jaskier's luck.

He had beaten out Valdo for a role which he hadn’t even known the man had wanted. And in return, Jaskier’s last few months had been lonely and uncomfortable and—

He set his forehead against Pegasus’s neck and took a breath to steady himself.

He could still feel Geralt’s presence. Lifting his head back up, he smiled at the man who showed no emotion in return. At least Jaskier knew that Geralt didn't like anyone else on the set either. In a strange way, it helped. Geralt was a part of his respite in the stables just by being impartial to the rest of the gossip of the set.

"Not the last day overall, of course. But I checked and I know we're moving on to another area for the next month or so. Granted, I guess you'll still be here if they want to do re-shoots, right? Can't go through the trouble of training so many horses over again."

Geralt had apparently decided that Jaskier wasn't even worth of his grunts anymore. As if Jaskier was the one who came out early to the stables to interrupt him and not vice-versa. Still, the actor had to admit that the quiet of the stable comforted him regardless. No one gossiping. No Valdo. Just him and Pegasus.

And Geralt, he supposed.

And Roach.

And the other horses.

Well, Jaskier supposed no moment was truly perfect.

----------------

Jaskier let his fingers run over the intricate chainmail of one of the many costumes from the film. Percival and his artistic team had done such excellent work. It was a shame that most of it would be auctioned off but with any luck, some would go into a production vault or even a perhaps a museum exhibit for film costumes. While Jaskier enjoyed the way his costume felt on him, purchasing it wasn't a priority for him.

“Percival!" He called when he saw the crewman in question. "This is for the auction, right? Do you know when it's actually happening?”

Jaskier hated how nervous he felt. He knew the horses were up on the auction block and he had a plan. Pegasus was the only good part of this filming and Jaskier didn't want to leave him behind. “For the horses,” Jaskier clarified.

“You interested?”

“Very.” Feeling much like the office was his primary school classroom, Jaskier stood up straight and put on his best serious face. “I’ve got the space and a neighbor who already shared the name of the veterinarian he uses for his farm.”

“Better prepared than most actors who make a snap decision at those auctions. Plenty of times I’ve heard of some bigshot selling off a horse after less than a month."

Jaskier couldn't tamp down the pride he felt at getting Percival's approval. Gods, he needed to leave this set. Just spend some time with Priscilla and not think about acting for a while. With any luck, he'd be spending time with Pegasus as well.

“How awful.”

“Can’t be helped. You’ll want Pegasus, of course?” Percival asked knowingly, poking fun at Jaskier's wide smile.

“Please. Send me the info and if I can’t be there and I’ll send someone else in my stead.” Jaskier couldn't help himself. “Truthfully, I’d take Roach too but I suspect the horsemaster has his eye on her.”

“Geralt?" Percival asked. He shook his head. "He can’t afford her.”

“You’re kidding.” What a shame. Jaskier had never met a horse and a rider so in tune with one another. He had just taken it as fact that Geralt would be taking Roach home with him. For the first few weeks, until gruffly corrected by Geralt, Jaskier had assumed that Geralt owned Roach and had brought her to set in the first place.

Though, looking back, it was a foolish thing to think. Roach and Valdo had been paired together for the duration of the filming and Geralt's stony glare anytime the actor mounted the mare...well, Jaskier would assume that if Roach had belonged to Geralt, he would have banned Valdo from riding her.

“Already asked him. I went to give him the info because I thought the same as you. Figured he’d be first in line but he didn’t even consider it. Poor fella. I didn’t want to push, you know?”

“Good man.” Jaskier stroked Pegasus and his eyes drifted over to Roach.

----------------

Zoltan's head poked through the door of office had housed the horse crew for the past few months. It hadn't become home, certainly, but the production team had put together a good group. Geralt would be keeping the contact information of more than a few riders and trainers in hopes of working with them again on future projects.

"You headed out, Rivia?"

"Almost packed. Just wanted to stop by the stables." The production auction had already happened but Geralt hadn't heard of any of the horses being moved out just yet. That kind of transport, especially if they weren't being kept local, took time to arrange. He had double-checked too. There was plenty of time for him to say goodbye to Roach. Give her a few extra treats, a good brushing down. The best sendoff a girl could ask for, really.

And she deserved a proper goodbye. Geralt had second-guessed himself, knowing how much it would hurt to say farewell but he couldn't help himself. Between the actors and the long shoots, all the horses deserved some post-production pampering. Geralt hoped the rest of them would get it once they were with their new owners and families.

"Surely you're doing more than stopping by."

"What?"

Zoltan gave him a perplexed look. "Roach, I mean. You're taking her with you, aren't you?"

"Can't afford her," Geralt said, trying not to grit his teeth. He had only said it aloud once before. When Percival had asked for his future plans. All of the horses were auctioned off at the end of the production, along with various bits and bobs that the studio didn't want to keep or store.

Roach was a prize mare, along with many of the other impressively bred horses in that stable.

Geralt would have loved to take her back to the ranch and shared stables that he ran with his family but it just wasn't in the cards. It was kind of the manager to even come to him and inquire. It spoke volumes about what Geralt had accomplished over the course of the shoot. At least with that gesture, Geralt knew he'd have a reference for future jobs. Perhaps not just for him but for the ranch too.

"But she's in your name. Isn’t she?"

"What are you talking about?"

Zoltan came into the room now, still looking at Geralt as though the man needed his head examined. He spoke slowly. "Geralt, I saw the finalized auction list. She's been paid for already and your name is on the front of her paddock."

Geralt froze. Surely Zoltan misread or even misunderstood. Geralt's name's was occasionally listed on paperwork as a handler if a buyer wanted to know more about a horse's temperament. But not as the owner or buyer.

He slowly backed away from Zolton and calmly headed towards the stables, and Roach's stall. He did not want to sprint eagerly or get his hopes up so instead, Geralt inhaled and exhaled every other measured step.

Roach's ownership papers were slipped in a plastic sleeve with a little metal hook attached so it remained securely on the nails of the stall door. Little dried stains and dirt covered the plastic and Geralt imagined Roach trying to get at her own papers.

Geralt von Rivia.

Undeniably, there in black and white. Geralt blinked, not believing his own eyes.

But still, there it was: Geralt von Rivia.

"Ah, Geralt!" The stablemaster came up to him, clapping him on the shoulder. "I had heard that you weren't able to bid. What a lovely surprise when I saw the name." Roach stretched as far out of her stall as she could manage, just reaching Geralt to nudge him. "And it looks like she agrees as well."

"But I didn't bid," Geralt said, confused. He stared at the paperwork for an extended period of time. He just couldn't believe it. Even encased in plastic that had corners peeling away at the top, it looked as officially legal as the other ones hangin off of the rest of the stalls in the stable.

"What?"

"I didn't bid. I told them that I couldn't. I didn't— I don't..." Geralt tilted his head and looked at the placard attached to the paddock. Geralt von Rivia and Roach.

How?

"I don't think anyone would be so cruel to play on a joke on you like this, mate."

"How can I check?"

The stablemaster pulled out his phone and held up a finger. Geralt didn't argue but watched the man dial a number and take a few steps away.

Roach stretched her neck again so her entire head came through the opening above the stall.

"Hello, girl." Geralt used both hands to rub at her face. He couldn't help it. Even if his name on the paperwork ended up being a cruel joke, he could imagine her at his family's ranch. She wouldn't take shit from the bigger stallion his brother kept and she'd teach their other mares to do the same.

"I talked to the production office. Said she's yours. The bid was placed anonymously."

"What? Anonymously?" Geralt looked at Roach as though she had the answers but the stablemaster continued to talk.

"They also included shipping costs as well as extra for feed, care, special needs, etc. A retainer essentially."

"Anonymous? How could they manage that?” Geralt leaned against the stall door, brain going into overdrive. He wasn't even sure where to start.

The stablemaster clearly could tell, and his voice softened, speaking as he would to any of the horses in the building. Geralt couldn't find it in himself to angry. It was a strange version of kindness that, in his overwhelmed state, he had no option except to accept. "It's all in the paperwork."

"Can I get a copy?"

"She's yours, Geralt, of course. Her and the paperwork."

Geralt looked at the paperwork attached to the stall and began to slide it out of its protective slip. He balanced his phone in one hand and the papers in the other as he slowly began taking photographs of each one. "I want to send the information to my friend before I— before I take her home."

"A lawyer, you mean."

Geralt nodded. "Just to double check."

“Smart man. Let me know if I can be of anymore help.”

Mercifully, the stablemaster left and Geralt let himself slide down the stall door. He knew he'd have to change pants before leaving now but he couldn't bring himself to care. He leaned his head back against the door.

He squinted at the sun through the windows as he struggled to hear the phone ringing amidst the breakdown of the rest of the set.

“Geralt.”

“Yenn.” Geralt couldn’t manage more than that. He took a deep breath to try again but Yennefer stopped him.

“Geralt? Are you all right? I thought you were still on location for that god awful film.”

“I am. I’m still there. I just. Something’s happened. I’m fine,” he added quickly. “It’s just strange.”

“Explain.”

"If someone bought you something anonymously, is there a way to tell who it was?"

"A gift? What kind of gift has you this shaken up? I am going to need so much more context, Geralt. Not to mention lunch and permission to laugh at you for whatever this is once you're back in the area.” Yennefer stopped talking and Geralt heard a few voices, none of them hers. “That is, I assume you're not back in the area yet. I just saw Eskel at the market last week. He would have mentioned it."

"No we— the film just wrapped. Everything was being broken down and there was an auction but." Geralt took a breath and gathered his words. "The horse I talked to you about."

"The smart one, yes." Yennefer's voice grew quiet and sympathetic in a way that would have surprised Geralt when they first met. But she knew what horses meant to him and respected it. They had both come a long way with one another. "I'm sorry. I know you wanted to buy her."

"That’s the thing, Yenn, someone bought her for me. I just received the paperwork. They paid for her, the board, and transportation back to the ranch. Not to mention a little more if needed. What could be needed?"

"Maybe they thought since you couldn't afford the price of the horse, you couldn't afford food, medical care, things like that."

"Oh." Geralt couldn't decide if that was insulting or thoughtful. Most people on set only saw him in his barn clothing so perhaps they couldn't be blamed for the assumption. He certainly didn't attend any social gatherings after the work day. The cost of Roach had held him back, not the care.

"You don't know who it could have been? Not a clue?"

"I'm...not exactly friendly to people on set," Geralt growled. “I certainly didn’t endear myself to that Marx asshole who rode her during filming.” He hated being on set but he was there to do a job and at least if he was there, he knew someone was protecting the animals.

"You do want her, right?"

"Of course I do," Geralt gripped the phone tightly. "I just want to make sure it wasn't some kind of mistake. Or strings attached. That she can't just be taken away at all in the future."

"All right. I'll look into it. Send me everything and give me a few hours."

"Thank you."

----------------

Geralt von Rivia.

Jaskier shifted all of Pegasus’ equipment to one arm so he could reach out and touch the paper. It felt good to see.

He looked around the stable to check he was alone before giving Roach one last pat. He kissed her on the nose and whispered, “Goodbye.”

----------------

Geralt’s entire afternoon had to shift. No longer could he throw his duffel bag in his truck and endure the long drive home. Instead he spent the day asking for another night in one of the spare rooms near the set. He went to ask after borrowing a trailer, only to find that it was one of the included costs with the purchase of Roach and far too nice for his truck.

Most importantly, he spent time with Roach. She was the last horse left at the end of the day. He had avoided people by hopping into her stall at some point, the stables full of agencies and buyers coming to collect.

A few people stopped to read the paperwork outside Roach and Geralt couldn’t stop his pride from rising. She was a star, great stock but even better temperament. And she was all his now.

Thankfully, by the time Yennefer called, no one was in the stables to hear a mobile phone start ringing inside one of the stalls.

“That was fast.”

“I’m very good at my job, Geralt.” Geralt wisely held his tongue. “Right so. Roach was bought and paid for by a Julian Alfred Pankratz."

Geralt blinked. He looked to Roach as though she could answer his questions. “I...I don't know a Julian-- whatever. Whatever name you just said to me."

Yennefer gently, "I think he's more commonly called Jaskier."

"Jaskier?"

"Yes, Jaskier. You know, one of the stars of the film series you've been working on the past few months."

Geralt bit back a growl. Yennefer was doing him a favor. He didn't need to be a twat. "I know who he is. I don't know why he bought Roach though."

He had certainly never been kind to Jaskier. If anything he had been a downright grump. Which wasn't much different from how Geralt treated most of the actors. Even the ones who had been nothing but kind to him.

He just couldn't risk it. The cast were a load of gossips and each week, Geralt heard something different about Jaskier and his coworkers. Geralt hadn't wanted to get involved.

It wasn't worth his time to be a notch in the bedpost for an actor who apparently had paramours throughout the cast and country, if the rumors were to be believed.

Clearly it hadn't mattered to Jaskier anyway.

"Bought and gave to you," Yennefer corrected. "Roach is in your name. I had to jump through some hoops to find this information. It wasn't easy. I don't think he intended on you ever knowing. He never mentioned it at all, correct?"

Most of the conversations Geralt had with the man were one-sided, or just corrections for his horse handling.

"Most of the actors left the day after the film wrapped. I haven't seen any of them save for a few who needed re-shoots with some of the sets we still had." His fist tightened around his phone. “I only told one person that I couldn’t afford Roach. He's not the type to pass around gossip.”

"I don't think Jaskier meant anything bad by it, Geralt."

"I just don't...understand."

"Me neither but unless you'd also like me to follow up, perhaps get in touch with his management?" She left the question hanging in the air and Geralt's face reddened at even the mention of talking to Jaskier again. It wasn't the man who had him worried but the whole process. Going through his team and agent just to ask why? What if he took back the gift?

Yennefer read his mind, as per usual. “He can't take Roach back, Geralt. I made sure of it but honestly, it looks like he is the one who made sure of it. No strings."  

"No strings."

"Do you want me to try and find out why? Have you looked at her teeth? Perhaps you might want to look a gift horse in the--"

"Yennefer," Geralt growled.

"Take Roach back to the ranch, Geralt. I'm sure your family will be excited to meet her."

----------------

"Is this my welcome?" Geralt hadn't even gotten out of his truck yet but he was tempted to make a u-turn and leave the ranch the same way he came in. He wasn't sure where he and Roach would go but anywhere would be better than his little brother giving him a suspicious expression the moment he pulled into the driveway. Eskel pushed Lambert to try and snap him out of his daze. "Well, are you just going to look at me like that or are you going to say hello?"

"Did we know you were bringing home a horse?" Eskel asked delicately while Lambert just continued to stare.

"I didn't even know I was bringing home a horse." Geralt slammed the driver's side door shut and caught Eskel in a hug. He snagged Lambert too even though the little shit tried to wriggle away after two seconds.

Lambert went through his fingers on a very short checklist. "Aiden was hoping you'd break your rule of no autographs for this one. But you didn't do that. And you brought home a horse."

"We've got a free stall, right?" Geralt looked towards the stables. They rarely had a full house unless they were hosting some kind of trail camp. Still, he hadn't even thought of calling home to check.

"She's staying?"

"She's mine." Geralt handed Eskel the paperwork and Lambert immediately hung over his shoulder to read through it.

Eskel's eyes widened at the sight of her lineage. "How did you afford--"

"I didn't. It's…a long story."

"You didn't steal a horse, did you? Someone is going to be looking for this girl."

"She's not stolen. Her name is Roach." Geralt ran his finger through his hair, pulling at the tangles from having the window open on the long ride back home. "Melitele, can we not do this now? Let me get her settled and then I'll tell you about it."

Eskel and Lambert exchanged a look and Eskel shoved Lambert off his shoulder. "Lambert, go tell Dad that Geralt's home. When does the trailer have to go back?"

"They bought that too."

"The trailer came with the horse?" Eskel waved his hand after seeing the pained look on Geralt's face. "All right, don't tell me. I know you don't want to explain it more than once."

He left Geralt to blessed silence. Silent as a farm could get, at any rate. He patted Roach's flank and coaxed her out of the trailer, leaving it unlocked and opened behind him. The ranch was isolated enough as it was and he'd be back for it soon enough.

"This is Scorpion. That's Kelpie," Geralt introduced Roach to each horse as he walked her by their stalls, finally coming to an empty one. He eyed up Scorpion, already thinking ahead. Eskel's stallion was of good lineage. It wouldn't be a bad match to think of for the future.

He hung around the stable as long as he thought he was able to. Just because one of his brothers hadn't been sent out to fetch him yet didn't mean that Vesemir hadn't already planned it. Geralt patted Roach one last time and headed out.

The farmhouse smelled just as he left it, like horse and his father's cooking. The first an unfortunate by-product of their lives but the second, a welcome back.

They didn't all still live in the house. Eskel had a cabin on the furthest edge of the land with a herd of goats that they rented out and kept for milk. Lambert and Aiden had just moved to another patch of acreage on the opposite side before Geralt had left for the film shoot. From what Geralt could gather from Eskel's texts, they swapped out more nights than one making sure someone was there to help Vesemir with the morning chores.

"Hey Dad." Geralt leaned in and let his Vesemir clap him on the back.

"Good to have you home." Vesemir's gruff voice washed over Geralt and he felt something in his shoulders settle. He took the offered bowl of stew and purposefully brushed against both Eskel and Lambert on his way to sit at the table.

"Good to be home."

Lambert, mouth full of beef stew, used his dripping spoon to gesture to the TV.

“You worked with him, right?”

"Who?" Geralt looked up from his bowl. There was an entertainment show on the television but it had gone commercial. Lambert rolled his eyes at him.

“Jackass. Jaskier. They had a whole segment on him."

Geralt swallowed and before he could overthink it, told them, "That’s the one who bought Roach. Bought her in my name, I mean."  

Eskel near choked on a beef chunk, "What?"

"Him?" Lambert's eyes widened. He shot a look at Vesemir. "Did you, uhh--" but he didn't get a chance to finish because Geralt threw a chunk of bread at his head.

"I didn't sleep with him, you ass. I don't know why he did it. I wasn't even supposed to know, according to Yennefer."

Geralt wished he knew why. It was an itch he couldn't scratch, though having Roach home and in her stall was a significant balm. He accepted another slice of bread from Eskel.

"She checked it out?" Vesemir asked knowingly. "Everything is all right?"

"The paperwork all checks out. No strings," Geralt echoed Yennefer's earlier words.

"Good lineage," Eskel added slowly. "There’s no issues with her health?”

Geralt nodded. "None that I know of. I'm going to call in Coën tomorrow to give her a full check-up and we'll go from there. I don't think there will be a problem though."

Lambert shrugged at Eskel who still looked suspicious. He eyed the door that led out closest to the barn as if he wanted to go interrogate Roach to find out more. “Oh. Well, I guess a person who buys a horse anonymously as a gift can’t be that big of an ass then like the papers say, right? Was he?”

“Was he what?”

“An ass. Was Jaskier an ass?” Lambert asked again.

Geralt pondered the question. He hadn't expected to think this much about anyone from the cast after production had set down. Definitely not Jaskier.

Truthfully, Jaskier had been the furthest thing from an ass. Sure, he had gotten to the stables earlier than the other actors but it was a strange thing for Geralt to complain about considering how late the rest of the cast were for their training sessions. He cared about the horses too. It had been sweet.

"What are you on about?" Vesemir grumbled.

Lambert, mouth full of stew, looked at Eskel imploringly, fighting to swallow. Eskel tilted his head towards the television. "The lad who bought Geralt his horse apparently got on the bad side of some folks. The gossip shows say they've been spreading rumors about him for months."

"Did he say that? Jaskier." Geralt's attention suddenly back on the television. The b-roll footage of a posh gentleman on the red carpet was not the same man covered in a dirt -covered costume after a ride or a long shoot, that was for sure. It still was Jaskier though.

"No one's heard from him. It's all come out now after the production's ended."

Eskel plucked a newspaper off of the counter and passed it over to Geralt who took it but kept it closed. Jaskier's face was on the cover or it would have been if his hand hadn't blocked the photograph from the view. "Wouldn't be surprised if he sued them for libel though. Judging by what they're saying in here, he's certainly got a case."

FALSEHOODS AND PRODUCTION WOES the newspaper headline shouted. Geralt ran through the first few lines of the article and felt the pit in his stomach begin to grow.

“I heard some of these.” He had been on more toxic sets in the past. With more difficult actors trying to make passes at him, sometimes aggressively. Thinking that crew should be lucky to get their attention. Television shows, soap operas had been worse. But this still hadn't been good. And Jaskier had been nothing but kind to him. Annoying, perhaps early in the morning but, certainly nothing like the rumors had suggested. Still Geralt had done his best to ignore him.

“No kidding? Maybe they’ll call you in to testify.”

Geralt leaned against the counter and stared the newspaper, hoping no one else heard the roaring in his ears.

Perhaps there had been another reason Jaskier was hiding in the stables each morning instead of by the breakfast tables in the craft tent.

Certainly Geralt had taken his solace in the company of animals before. Jaskier had clearly just been doing the same.

----------------

“You have more security out in the country. That’s the whole point of the privacy fence,” Priscilla argued. Jaskier had been sneaking peeks through the blinds for the better part of the morning. His face had gotten paler with each glance.

“I know you’re right.”

“I am. London will still be here when this all blows over. Or when a judge makes it blow over.” Jaskier sighed. Priscilla hated seeing him like this, curled up on the couch, phone turned off. Country life would be pleasant in more than one way.

“You can bond some more with that horse you’ve got. I’m sure he missed you.”

“I’ll just have to come back to the premiere,” Jaskier warned. “You won’t have the flat to yourself for too long.”

----------------

"Zoltan."

"You're going."

"Going where?"

"To the premiere."

"We're a little busy here." Geralt gazed around the quiet stables and winced at the phone in his hand. What Zoltan didn't know wouldn't hurt him. The last thing Geralt wanted to do was take the journey into London and be around people that he didn't even socialize with when he was paid to.

"All the crew is invited and the production team is insisting the crew come so they don't look like asshats. Please come keep me company," Zoltan near begged.

"Too late for that isn't it?" Geralt thought back to the television stories and the articles about Jaskier.

Sure, maybe Geralt had given into his curiosity and googled Jaskier's name a few times after his first night home but the man really had vanished. No photographer had been able to capture any images of him and his team weren't responding to any questions.

Geralt wasn't sure if it was Jaskier's team at work or someone in his corner but certainly he had read a few articles about instances of Jaskier's kindness. He had experienced that first hand and judging by the rest of the stories, he felt they had to be true. Most of Jaskier's generosity came anonymously but he hadn't always been as good at covering his tracks as he had been with Roach.

"Well, perhaps. Valdo made sure of that."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, I just meant. All those rumors he spread about Jaskier. Turns out this wasn't the first person who he had done this too. I heard tell that Valdo is going to be blacklisted in the industry and then sued for gossip. Defamation or something. I'm not too sure. It'll be out in the papers soon enough."

"Libel," Geralt murmured, thinking back to the articles he had read. "Even I heard gossip around the set."

"I didn't believe any of it, personally. Jaskier was always a polite fellow and some of it was nasty. Well, I'm sure you didn't either. Otherwise Jaskier wouldn't have done you that solid."

"What solid?"

Zoltan was quiet for a beat too long.

Geralt sighed. One more piece of the puzzle. "You mean Roach. I know he bought Roach for me. But how did you know?"

"Ah well..."

"I had to go through a lawyer to find out," Geralt added.

"I did the paperwork," Zoltan admitted. "He did want it to be anonymous but I thought that was just so production couldn't give him a hard time about buying two horses."

"He bought another horse?"

Zoltan paused again. "He really never mentioned this to you? He was in the stables near every morning."

"For training."

"Not just for training. Though I guess we know now that he was just trying to stay away from Valdo and his cronies." Geralt wasn't sure what to say to that. He had never been anyone's idea of a respite and his guilt at knowing he hadn’t made the time easier for Jaskier still weighed on his mind. Though perhaps Jaskier had just been after the horses. "He bought the one he rode. Pegasus."

"Oh."

Geralt hadn't expected that. He knew Jaskier had gotten along with the horse, of course. That had been easy enough to see, sweet even. But it was still a surprise. A pleasant one.

There was something about Jaskier buying a horse for himself and for Geralt. As if the man understood the responsibility and the importance. He wasn't just buying Roach as a gift for whatever reason, he knew everything the job would entail.

"The premiere is in London. Should be a good time so long as no one leaks the news about any legal cases beforehand."

Geralt rubbed his hand over Roach's nose and made a snap decision. "I'll meet you there."

"Really?"

"You owe me a drink."

"Should be an open bar, mate."

"Well, that makes it easy for you then."

----------------

Geralt wasn't exactly keeping up with Jaskier's story but Aiden and Lambert watched enough entertainment news for the rest of them. Gossip papers would be left out around the barn by visitors without issue. If Geralt just happened to see that Jaskier hadn't been heard from in a few weeks since production shut down then, well, that was just a fact that lived in Geralt's brain.

One that he definitely didn't overthink. Not with the premiere already on his mind.

"It really was Valdo," Lambert had told him one morning. "Apparently he wanted that role of Jaskier's so badly that he decided that he'd try to make sure the guy would never have any other roles again."

Geralt didn't let on that he had known. Still, he hadn't thought about the creep since Zoltan had brought him up.

Valdo. Like Zoltan had said, it was no wonder Jaskier had always signed up to be the first person at the stables with Geralt. Valdo Marx would never deign to get to the stables early in the morning, even when it was a necessity that he do so.

"Loads of other actors apparently apologized for listening to Valdo. They'd been giving Jaskier the cold shoulder for weeks now. But still, no one has seen him."

"I can't blame him for wanting to take a break from acting. Even now with the rumors out, I think I'd find another industry to work in all together." Aiden shook his head. He looked up at Geralt hopefully, nudging Lambert conspicuously. "You haven't heard from anyone from set talking about it?"

Geralt gave Lambert an exasperated look. "I know you had overheard that conversation. I'm not taking either of you to the premiere. I'm staying for one drink and then getting on the train again."

"Told you so," Lambert muttered. "Fine. Be that way."

“Poor guy,” Eskel murmured. “I’d hide too if I just had to spend months contractually obligated with people all poisoned against me.”

Geralt kept his eyes down, wishing the conversation would change. Wishing he hadn’t been such a fool. At least he knew why Jaskier had always signed up to be the first person at the stables. Not that the information helped Geralt’s newly-acquired nausea.

----------------

It would be fine.

That's what Geralt kept repeating to himself on the tube ride into London.

Geralt would go in, have a drink with Zoltan, find Jaskier, thank him, and then never have to think of the man again. A strange sense of closure for someone he never had a relationship with, platonic or otherwise, but it was the right thing to do.

Everytime he looked at Roach or rode her around the ranch, he thought of Jaskier. It wasn't guilt or anything owed to the man. Geralt believed in the actor's earnestness and no-strings gift.

He managed to find Zoltan right away, the two of them hiding in a corner of the hotel bar through the actual film and more when crowds finally came back.

"I had wondered if Jaskier was even going to come," Zoltan confided in Geralt, leaning closer to the bar and looking over their shoulders as their lobby filled up.

"Because of Marx?"

Zoltan nodded. "I suspect there will be a healthy number of people keeping them away from one another."

"For good reason." Geralt tried not to be too obvious in his glances behind them but Zoltan knew enough of the cause. "Why come at all, I wonder?"

"Contract," Zoltan told him, pressing his lips thin. He shook his head at the thought. "It's written in the contracts that they've got to do press and this counts as press."

"The red carpet beforehand, surely. But I can't imagine a party is." Geralt shifted uncomfortably. The bar was filling up and he and Zoltan were getting squashed to one side already. The gracious and well-tipped bartender had thought ahead and topped the two of them off before the rush began.

"You've been in this business for a few years now. Surely you're not that naive."

Geralt finally caught sight of Jaskier. In a plain blue suit, unlike such patterned clothing he had worn even after Geralt had told him he’d only get the fineries dirty.

Without turning to look at the crowd or see if anyone was watching him, Jaskier hurried up the side stairs to where Geralt knew there was another reserved space, a small but grand library room that hadn’t been alrered since the 30s. He and Zoltan had stumbled upon it earlier in the afternoon while hiding from cameras.

"I'm more naive than I think sometimes." Geralt nodded to Zoltan and held out his hand. Zoltan took it to shake instantly. “It was good to see you. Call if you’re ever by the ranch. We’d be happy to have you.”

Following Jaskier’s path and manners, Geralt also didn’t look behind him as he slipped up the same stairs, closing the paneled door after him.

Geralt allowed himself a moment to look at Jaskier. The man had his coat in hand and was staring out of the rather large window flanked by two bookshelves.

“I just wanted to—“ Jaskier spun around, hand to his chest. Geralt took a step backwards. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Geralt,” Jaskier finally said, even though his heavy breaths were still evident. He stood up straight and blinked a few times too quickly. Geralt softened his voice, hoping to ease his nerves.

“Jaskier. I just wanted to catch you to say thank you.”

Jaskier flinched, just slightly. He tilted his head and looked at Geralt as though he was the picture of innocence, furrowing his brow slightly to sell the confused image.

"For what?"

"Jaskier," Geralt chastised. He was in no mood. He had been around far too many people this night. Jaskier thought so too judging by the fact that he had left the main party room for this quieter one. Still, Geralt knew that wasn’t the only reason. "Thank you for Roach."

Jaskier's mouth opened a bit and then closed again. He seemed to be eyeing how Geralt was blocking the only exit out of the room. "How do you know?"

"Was I not supposed to find out?"

"Well, it was— anonymous. I thought." Jaskier's confused expression tightened as though he was trying to remember the legal jargon he had gone through when setting up Roach's purchase and fund.

"I--" Geralt felt his face go a bit red with embarrassment at that. "I wanted to make sure she really was mine. No strings or anything. I had a lawyer friend look into it just to double check."

"Right.” Jaskier shook his head, a few locks of hair coming loose from their coiffed position. “Yes, of course."

Geralt hated that Jaskier was agreeing with him. As if it was perfectly all right for Geralt to be suspicious of a gift and also of Jaskier himself. What a pair they were.

"Look," Jaskier held up his hands in front of him, "I know you don’t like me and I didn’t to it so you’d be— beholden to me or forced to pretend to like me or whatever. You weren’t supposed to find out. But that awful man from production was going to buy her and I couldn’t let that happen and I had heard that you were had turned down the opportunity which just seemed wrong. I mean, she’s clearly your horse and—"

"Thank you." Geralt said firmly. “Just...thank you."

"Oh. You’re welcome." Jaskier swallowed and chanced a look out the window again. Geralt watched him, very aware that he had done what he came to do. Still he couldn’t make himself leave.

"Are you planning on hiding here all right?"

Jaskier shrugged. "I haven’t decided yet.”

Geralt wasn't sure what to do with that one.

"Would you like to come visit Roach?" He tried next.

Jaskier still looked uncomfortable.

“Right now?”

Geralt remembered the early training calls, how quiet Jaskier was when other people began to come around the barn, the rumors he heard even his first week on set. How he had let them affect the way he handled being around Jaskier more than anyone else. Fuck.

"Where do you live?" Geralt asked suddenly, not realizing the strangeness of the question.

"What?" Jaskier seemed taken aback which was more than fair.

"I only meant— Here in London or LA or New Yo--"

"Here. England, I mean. I’ve got a little place a little ways outside of London."

That could be anywhere, Geralt didn’t say. Jaskier still looked uncomfortable. His shoulders were hunched and he was holding himself tightly with his arms straight down at his side so his hands could be shoved into his pockets.

It had been weeks since they had seen each other last and Geralt just. He had so many things to say now but couldn't make the right words come out of his mouth.

He thought about Jaskier every time he rode Roach around the farm. He wished that it was just the two of them at 6am on the training set again. Jaskier on Pegasus and Geralt on Roach, going through the obstacle courses.

He wanted a second chance to ignore rumors and laugh at Jaskier's jokes and flirt back at him. Geralt had that open Jaskier still in his mind, who was so pleased to see both Geralt and the horses even though it was barely past dawn and he had had a late shoot the previous night.

"Did you really buy Pegasus too?" Geralt asked, even though he already knew the answer.

Jaskier blushed. "I did. He's with me. Well, a stable near me. I know I'm not the greatest at care as you saw it but I visit him and ride as often as I can." His smile was soft just thinking about the horse and Geralt again ached, thinking about the morning dew, riding with Jaskier around the ring. The soft voice that he used for the horses regardless of who could hear him.

"You’re welcome to come see Roach anytime. Especially if you want to bring Pegasus. My father’s ranch is remote and private. Sometimes we get writers or other people stay for retreats in some of the smaller cabins."

Jaskier still looked uncomfortable. Upset, even. He had taken his hands out of his pockets and he was leaning backwards, clutching the window frame. Geralt wondered how much acting he did on a daily basis.

He really hadn’t meant for Geralt to find out about Roach.

"He's really fine. I promise," Jaskier said quietly.

Geralt swallowed his nausea at just how still Jaskier was holding himself. At how Jaskier thought Geralt only inquired after Pegasus because he assumed Jaskier couldn’t take proper care of him.

And that was Geralt’s fault. For listening to rumors. For being colder to Jaskier as the shoot weeks had gone on. The man had sometimes beaten Geralt to the stables in the morning and in return, Geralt had barely spoken to him.

"I have no doubt that he is enjoying your care. As well as you sneaking him too many treats," Geralt joked, trying to lighten the mood. He hadn't mean to imply that Jaskier wasn't taking proper care of Pegasus. That hadn't been it at all. He was just. He wanted to be near Jaskier. He didn’t want to leave him just yet.

He took his eyes off of Jaskier's and they fell to his long fingers. Even though he was facing Geralt, Jaskier’s fingers were clutching the window lip.

He hadn’t been looking out the window or catching his breath in an empty room.

Jaskier had been trying to get out onto the fire escape.

Of course.

Geralt sighed, he could feel a dull ache behind one of his eyeballs. Perfect. He had already caused Jaskier enough panic for one night and now a headache. He slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet.

"Here is a card for my friend. She’s a fantastic lawyer and if you mention my name, she’ll take you on. She might laugh but she’ll do it. The laughing will mostly be at me,” he added. "You might not need her, of course. But she's the one who helped figure out it was you who got Roach for me."

Jaskier took the card from Geralt's outstretched hand and near cradled it in his hands. "Thanks."

"Do you want help opening the window that you were trying to escape out of?"

There was a spark in his eye that Geralt hadn't seen in months and he was willing to bet he wasn't the only one who missed it.

"Please."

Geralt used one hand to gesture for Jaskier to move out of the way and he did, with almost too much glee. There was a bounce in his step that Geralt was relieved to see. None of the tabloids or entertainment shows could see that when they talked about him.

He carefully examined the large window. The expansive sash was sturdy enough but Geralt was more than a match for its age. He reached up and unlocked the top before heaving under the lip.

It opened without issue.

“Thank you so much,” Jaskier gushed. He didn’t even wait for Geralt to move out of the way before climbing into the fire escape. He turned to look back at Geralt. “I really appreciate it.”

Geralt gestured again, this time for Jaskier to step back, further out the window.

"What are you doing?" Jaskier asked as Geralt had one foot out the window.

Geralt raised an eyebrow. “I opened the window. Am I not also allowed to climb out of it?"

"I guess." Jaskier looked bewildered. “There’s still a party downstairs.”

"I think you know me well enough to know that it’s not my kind of party.” Geralt enjoyed seeing the flush on Jaskier’s face at the possibility that the two of them might know one another at all. “I'm not letting you fall down the fire escape."

"Just because my upper body strength is lacking doesn't mean I've never climbed down a fire escape before," Jaskier argued even as he made for the ladder.

God, did Geralt want to know that story. He could do nothing but follow Jaskier.

Out of the window, down the fire escape, and to the ground, where Jaskier landed safely with a soft "Oomph."

"Thank you,” he told Geralt again. Then, before he could lose his courage, he added, “It was good to see you again.” He took off down the street, collar popped up around the lower half of his face.

Geralt wanted to call after him, invite him to get a drink, spirit him away before the cameras out front could find him. He imagined them getting the tube together and riding away all while Jaskier huddled closer to him, whether for warmth or so no one recognized him. Geralt fantasized the worst case scenario, with himself stepping in as the hero for Jaskier, blocking him from the cameras.

In the end, he watched Jaskier, hunched over himself in a foreboding navy coat, make his way around the corner. And then he went home to the ranch and told Roach all about it.

----------------

“Just like that?” Priscilla asked, graciously not mentioning the fact that Jaskier had put on her favorite sweatpants or that he had heart eyes whilst talking about this mysterious horse guy.

Jaskier shrugged, swirling a wine glass with one hand. “Just like that. I’ve gotten a new agent. A new lawyer seems like a good place to start.”

“And you trust him?” Priscilla held up the card. “He couldn’t afford a horse and yet has a friend who works here?”

“She’s how he found out I bought the horse for him.”

“Your funeral.”

----------------

"Geralt von Rivia," Yennefer's voice came through his phone. Geralt winced and so did Eskel even though he was near three meters away. Yennefer only used their full names when they were in trouble. "Did you give some twink my number?"

"Can you help him?"

"Yes, I believe I can. i just wanted to check his story."

"He bought Roach for me."

"Yes, the mystery-horse buyer. I remember." Yennefer's quiet voice used to grate on Geralt. He never knew what it meant. He used to think he was a fool but as their relationship developed, he realized that Yennefer's version of caring contained a lot of frighteningly quiet determination.

"I wasn't supposed to find out, apparently."

Geralt wasn't grumpy about the situation.

He wasn't.

He just wished that everything was different. That was all.

"Well, he didn't anticipate you having me for a lawyer." Yennefer paused and Geralt heard some paper rustling in the background. "Did you know about all this? His situation, I mean.”

“I’ve heard rumors.” Geralt didn't mention that he had been reading Lambert's discarded tabloids and doing some googling of his own.

“Rumors of the situation or the rumors being spread about him on set?”

“The latter,” Geralt mumbled, embarrassed. "Both, I suppose. Lambert reads the tabloids. So does Aiden."

“No wonder he talked himself in circles about you. His friend had to stop him twice from rambling on.”

Geralt wanted to ask about that but he knew Yennefer wouldn't answer. Or couldn't, with a confidentiality clause.

“Can you fix it?”

She scoffed. “Of course I can. It’ll be a bit messy but luckily, this isn’t the only lawsuit against this guy. Tons of evidence and witnesses too. He managed to get a new agent who hasn't been doing half bad of a job. Don't worry, Geralt. I'll protect him.”

"Marx?"

"Yes. It's not the first time he's done this either." Then, softer. "I'll help him, Geralt. I promise."

"Thank you."

----------------

“Jaskier!” One of the farmer’s son sprinted up to him, coming to a stop once he reached the stables. Jaskier had just gotten himself onto Pegasus for the day. “We had a man come round asking about you yesterday. Dad wanted you to know.”

“Here?” Jaskier dismounted quickly and looked around the farm to the tree line, expecting the press to come racing at him after the teen. "Take a breath, Matthew."

Matthew and the rest of his family had been nothing but kind to Jaskier since he had started boarding Pegasus at their farm. He hated to think they were being harassed by some reporters.

“One of those newspaper people. Had a camera and everything.”

Jaskier's heart sank but Matthew shook his head.

“Posh twat!” One of the farmhands yelled from the loft. “We ran him out!”

Jaskier didn’t bothering covering his mouth as he laughed along with Matthew. “He didn’t cause any trouble?” He asked earnestly.

“We said that we’d never heard of you," Matthew said proudly.

“Thank you so much.” Jaskier heaved a sigh of relief and leaned against Pegasus. He gave the horse a kiss and nodded to Matthew again. The boy, realizing just how close he and Jaskier were standing, blushed a bit before racing off.

----------------

It had taken Geralt a long time in his life to learn never to doubt Yennefer but it was a lesson that had stuck.

In keeping up with the news about Jaskier, Geralt had learned a lot about him. To the point where, when Jaskier’s best friend, Priscilla, was interviewed on the red carpet of her latest premiere and asked about the missing man, Geralt knew exactly who she was. It also meant that Geralt could properly appreciate her viciously telling the interviewer to fuck off.

Jaskier still hadn't worked on a film in weeks but Yennefer assured him it was for the best and that Jaskier was doing fine. Laying low was a part of the plan.

The successful plan as it so happened.

Lambert slapped the newspaper down on the breakfast table. Geralt and Eskel both jumped back.

"The guy who saved Roach has been saved!" He crowed triumphantly, dodging a spoon thrown by Geralt.

"Jaskier?” Eskel asked. “The trial went off all right?”

Lambert nodded towards the paper. “It says Marx was found guilty. So Jaskier and the other people he talked about are in the clear with any luck. Have you talked to him?"

"What?" Geralt looked up from the front page. Jaskier looked good in most outfits, of course, but the official black suit for court did nothing but match him to Yennefer, who was barely in the photograph, as the newspaper had tried so hard to cut her out.

"I know it says he won the case but he looks here miserable, mate.”

"Tabloid photos aren't real indicators of a person's well-being," Geralt said stiffly. Even though Lambert was right. Geralt kept picturing the animated Jaskier that he had been privileged to see for a whole thirty seconds at the premiere party.

"You texted him though, right?"

Geralt hummed. "Yennefer's helping him out."

Eskel and Lambert responded at the same time.

"That's not an answer to his question."

"That's not an answer to my question."

Sometimes Geralt really hated his brothers.

"You gave him Yennefer's name?" Eskel urged on.

“Must have,” Lambert commented, tapping on the partial shot of Yennefer buried under headline text.

"Her card." Geralt also remembered Jaskier's uncomfortable body language at the party. Curled in on himself, not meeting anyone's eyes and when he did, he looked right past them. Sometimes when Geralt closed his eyes he saw Jaskier's white knuckles against the windowpane, desperate to make an escape. Geralt provided that. He gave that to him. And Yennefer's information. "He seemed like he just needed someone in his corner."

"And now?"

"He's Yennefer's client right now. They're not friends. Yet,” he added. “Knowing Yennefer, it will depend on if she likes him or not."

Lambert turned back towards his breakfast but Eskel still had a knowing eye on his brother.

“Looks like it’s all wrapped up. He’s not her client anymore.”

"I don't have his number." Geralt admitted, just barely audible. “I never did.”

Eskel reached over and tapped on the screen of Geralt’s phone. "I bet Yennefer does."

----------------

Geralt: Do you have Jaskier's number? Yennefer: Finally. Yennefer: I can't give it to you. Yennefer: But I can give your information to him. Geralt: Thank you. Yennefer: He's sweet but skittish. Be gentle.

----------------

Yennefer: 033 0058 0058 Jaskier: What's that? Yennefer: Geralt's number.

Jaskier sighed and touched his thumb to Yennefer's name.

"You're calling the wrong number," she told him in lieu of a greeting.

"I don't know him," Jaskier argued. "We were never supposed to see each other again."

"I expect a gift basket after the wedding then."

"Shall I expect one for you and Priscilla?" Jaskier asked coolly. Thankfully, Yennefer laughed and he managed to keep going. "He didn't want to talk to me when we had to spend near every day together. I don't think I can manage a phone conversation if it's just me." He wasn't worried about being too honest. Not with Yennefer, not after the trial.

He'd woken up plenty of times in Priscilla's flat after an emotional night to Yennefer at the door with breakfast for all three of them.

Yennefer hummed and in a way, she sounded almost like Geralt. "You're right. Can I make another suggestion?"

----------------

Yennefer: Are you home today? Geralt: Yes Yennefer: All day? Geralt: Yes Yennefer: Good. Stay there. Yennefer: Or outside. By the driveway. Geralt: Why? Yennefer: Trust me, Geralt. It's a lovely day. Yennefer: Just enjoy yourself.

----------------

Geralt stuffed his phone back in his pocket and asked Roach, “What do you think?”

Roach just looked at him which was fair but Geralt’s heart started to race with the anticipation.

He couldn’t be sure of what was coming but he hoped. He left the stables and headed for the house. Sitting on the porch did nothing for Geralt’s nerves so instead he found himself standing in front of it.

Barely twenty minutes had gone by but still Geralt found himself picking the paint off of the porch railing.

An unfamiliar engine caught Geralt’s ear and he turned towards the front drive.

Then, there he was.

Jaskier.

In a shoddy little truck with faded red paint that was nearing pink. It looked as though perhaps Vesemir was only one old enough to have purchased it as new. He was towing a trailer behind him and Geralt would be willing to bet that he knew who was in there.

He also clearly didn’t know where to park. No doubt Yennefer had given him an address only. Geralt didn’t bother to hold back his enthusiasm, waving Jaskier towards the neat line of vehicles by the stables.

Geralt wondered if it would be too much to open the door for him but he remembered Yennefer’s words.

He's sweet but skittish. Be gentle.

Geralt could do gentle. He’d soothed plenty a horse in his time. So he hung back, just giving Jaskier what he hoped was an encouraging smile as he opened the car door himself.

"Um. Hello," Jaskier said shyly, a little nod of his head. With his priorities in place, he was already headed around to the trailer door. Geralt knew he was going to let Pegasus out but he couldn't help but feel as though Jaskier was trying to avoid contact with him at the same time.

He remembered how Jaskier needed to do something with his hands even on a good day, whether that was the infuriating clicking of the pen he used to make notes on his script or the constant twisting of Pegasus' leather reins around his fingers.

Geralt liked to think that this would be a good day but he knew how much courage it took for Jaskier to drive here with his horse.

Jaskier gave Pegasus a happy smile and guided him out of the trailer. It wasn't until the horse was solidly on the grass that Jaskier met Geralt's eyes again. Geralt could see that it wasn't just shyness. It was nerves.

Jaskier was biting at his lip and playing with the leather of the reins just like he had those mornings on set. "I wasn’t sure if the offer to visit was still there. Yennefer said—

"Yennefer was right," Geralt said quickly, beating Jaskier to the trailer door. He latched it shut, staring unblinkingly at Jaskier.

"Did Yennefer tell you to say that?"

“In my experience, it’s usually true,” Geralt joked. He took a step forward. "I'm...glad you're here."

"Oh. Oh, good," Jaskier sounded so relieved that Geralt wanted to convince him to stay forever. To gain confidence as Geralt did around his brothers, to be fed delicious meals by his father, and most importantly, to find peace with Geralt.

"I'm not...I'm not great over the phone anyway,” Geralt offered.

"I thought that might be the case,” Jaskier admitted honestly. “I wasn’t sure if I could stand to carry a whole conversation. Yennefer thought it would be easier for us just to..."

"Be together in person?"

"Well, I was going to say be with the horses. So we both have something to focus on if we need it." Jaskier lovingly stroked Pegasus and the horse nuzzled at him. Geralt had seen the same scene dozens of times over but that had been on set. Seeing it again here, on his family’s ranch was almost too good to be true.

"That works too." Geralt paused a moment and then urged Jaskier to follow him. “Come out to the barn. She’ll be excited to see you.”

Jaskier walked Pegasus through the stables. He let out the sweetest sigh upon seeing Roach again and Geralt never wanted Jaskier to leave the ranch again.

"Oh, hello, darling," Jaskier said quietly. Geralt took Pegasus' reins and Jaskier used his free hands to rub at Roach's nose. She leaned into the petting and Geralt wished he could take a photograph.

“I was a twat,” Geralt told him while Jaskier was distracted by a beautiful horse. “I’m sorry.”

Jaskier looked down and shrugged. “I’m sure you see all sorts on film sets. I can’t even imagine.”

“I bet you can.” Geralt stroked Pegasus. He unlatched Roach’s stall and gestured for Jaskier to lead her out. “You weren’t any trouble, you know.”

“I don’t know if you remember but you…you yelled at Marx one day. He was crowding me in the stable and Roach picked up on my mood and became irritated with him. You told him off.” Jaskier told all this to Roach and Geralt did him the courtesy of not commenting on it.

Geralt didn’t remember though. He had chased away dozens of actors from horses over the years. It didn’t surprise him that Marx had been one of them.

“I’m glad she was there to protect you. And I’m sorry I wasn’t more help.”

“I won’t say that it’s all right,” Jaskier said, with more strength than he looked. He swallowed and finally turned to Geralt. “It’s been…a long few weeks. Months, really. But we’re here now and—“

Roach nudged him again and he let out a little laugh. Some of the tension leaving him.

Roach nuzzled closer and Jaskier could tell she was eager to get out of her stall. “Yes, darling. I brought your old friend to come see you. I thought perhaps--" He looked at Geralt. "I thought perhaps we could go for a ride together? If you'd like."

"I'd love that," Geralt croaked, wondering how Jaskier could still be so brave after all this. That he was here and talking and asking Geralt to spend time with him. "Let me tack him up for you?" He asked, hand on Pegasus' flank.

Jaskier's brow furrowed. "I can do it."

"I know that you can. I want to do to it,” Geralt stressed. "Please," he added.

"Let's swap," Jaskier said, still lovingly petting Roach. "I haven't seen this girl in a while. It'll be nice."

"All right," Geralt agreed. He could see what Jaskier was doing.

It wasn't about a penance. Jaskier wanted them on some kind of equal footing. That was fair, Geralt supposed. Even though as of that specific moment, Geralt wanted to give Jaskier the world.

"Are you all right now?" Geralt asked, hesitating in a way that he hoped made an answer not necessary if Jaskier didn’t want to respond.

"Well, I don't know about 'all right,'" Jaskier huffed. His eyes were looking straight ahead. "Yennefer certainly settled some things. I'm not sure I'll be acting anytime soon. Or um, answering my phone calls. I've actually changed my number again. Remind me to give it to you."

"I'd like that." Geralt didn't mention that he never had Jaskier's number in the first place.

"It's not the press," he assured Geralt. "Just a lot of people trying to apologize or offering to support me. I'm talking to the same few who always believed me before everything, you know? Mostly just Priscilla and Yennefer right now."

Geralt didn't know. He was one of the people who...well, he's not sure that he believed the rumors. He wasn't someone to go around sets making friends regardless. But he had certainly heard the gossip, listened to it even.

He liked to think he made up for some of that but in actuality, Geralt knew it didn't matter. He'll always wish he had behaved differently when he first met Jaskier. He could have maybe had Jaskier in his life for so much longer. Could have supported him better during this shit time instead of just handing over Yennefer's card and begging her to take the case.

Geralt's mind was full of questions that he wasn't sure if he was allowed to ask. He wasn't even sure he wanted the answers either. What was Jaskier going to do now? Geralt knew that one was selfish because he so wanted the answer to include him.

They worked in silence to get the horses ready but it wasn’t a silence that Geralt minded. Especially not when it was broken every moments by Jaskier giggling whenever Roach tried to interrupt his actions. He watched Jaskier get up onto Pegasus before following on Roach.

“You could always keep Pegasus—“

"I was thinking maybe I could board Pegasus here? If you've got the room—"

"Yes!" Geralt said immediately, cutting off what he had started saying as well as Jaskier's nervous rant. He didn't want Jaskier to be unsure of himself ever again. Not where Geralt was concerned. "You could come by whenever you'd like. Hopefully...often," he let himself say, voice growing stronger as the sentence went on.

"Yeah?" Jaskier asked. Geralt couldn't look away from how his teeth trapped his bottom lip between them. He was grateful that they were both on horses, otherwise Geralt wasn't sure he could have stopped himself from taking his thumb and slipping the abused lip to safety.  "I don't live too far away. I hadn’t realized.”

Geralt swallowed. He met Jaskier’s big blue eyes and knew his own were rounded in vulnerability. “Please."

Jaskier finally, finally, smiled at him in such a way that Geralt felt his chest loosen. Jaskier nodded and Geralt felt his heart beating in his chest again. He grinned back at Jaskier and felt something swirl around them.

“Stay for dinner? My brothers would love to meet you. My father too.” Geralt was horrified at himself. He hadn’t rambled on like this in years. He couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t want to stop himself, not when Jaskier was giggling and trying to hide it with a hand over his mouth. “My brother Eskel’s horse is the one I’m planning to pair Roach with but I’m making him grovel for it if you’d like to help.”

“That sounds nice,” Jaskier laughed openly at him. Geralt didn’t mind one bit. “I’d love to stay, thank you.”

“Thank you.”

Geralt couldn’t help but sneak peeks at Jaskier as they mounted. It seemed Jaskier didn’t mind, snorting each time he caught his former horse master. And then he did the same, with Geralt trying not to preen too much in response.

Jaskier told him about Priscilla and Yennefer meeting and how he couldn’t go to dinner with the two of them alone again, Geralt, please.

Geralt explained how the farm worked and how much he disliked being on set away from his brothers, even when the money was good. How mercilessly they had teased him about Jaskier when he had returned.

They rode through the ranch, to Eskel’s farm, and Geralt found that both of them were becoming freer with their laughs by each trot.

The two of them had a strange beginning and a tumultuous middle but perhaps, if Geralt and Jaskier worked for it, they could have a lovely end.

----------------

ao3 link here

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 

hyunjin x reader | part four of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; pregnancy, lots of cursing (i have a streak), birth, n kkami bein a meanie

↬ notes; ok this might be my fav in the series | 1.5k wc

u and hyunjin actually were broken up when u found out about the pregnancy

u waited (stalled fuck off) until five months since u really didnt know what to do with the news

u kinda feel like ur insane, playing your ex-boyfriends music constantly and watching interviews of him but it kept u company and gave u a reminder that u still needed to tell him

u got this rly cute popped out bump, just rly kinda like those movies but u know its gonna get bigger and grow to have stretch marks

one day ur just sitting on the sofa of your apartment n the next thing u know ur door is being opened and hyunjin is barging in

ofc ur in a sports bras and a pair of basketball shorts cause they r comfortable and shirts r overrated

ur there with set out marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate, as well as peppermint sticks on the side just eating them together

ur in the middle of eating a smore u had put together

u swallow ur smore slowly, sucking on ur fingertips n just staring at him

“oh my fucking god- and it’s true?” 

ur honestly so confused until u remember u dont have on a shirt n ur bump is showing

ur standing up in a millisecond, hyunjin getting more upset by the second just looking at u

“why— how? how could you just not tell me?”

baby boy has those angry tears and the strained voice hes just so upset and the guilt is setting in for u

“i’m five and a half months.” 

fuck hormones cause next thing u know ur crying and u cant do anything to make it stop

u guys really can’t be mad at each-other, ur relationship was filled with nothing but kindness and it ended only because u two felt it was going no where

ofc u two argued about it and in the end hyunjin was the one who walked out

“we can try again. you can move back in right? we can stay together and put back the pieces.”

u agreed n by the next morning he was there to help u pack ur things up n take them back to his place

he ends up seeing the box of baby stuff, with unopened bottle packages and sonograms, as well as a disc that was labelled as your 3D ultrasound

u find him just sitting there, staring at the black and white sonogram with tears freely falling down his cheeks

he doesn't even notice u next to him until ur thumb swipes the tear away from his cheek

u two just smile at each-other, his arm wrapping around u n pulling u in to his side

“that’s our baby?” he asks, not removing his eyes from the little white blob that barely was the size of a jaw breaker n u just whispered, “yea, it is.”

ur relationship doesn’t exactly get back into what it was at first,,

ur both nervous and cautious around each other

at first he insists he can just sleep on the couch so u can take his bed but u insist u both can sleep together

hyunjin doesn’t mean to but he somehow always winds up with his arm around u n ur bump every morning

he will talk to the bump n tell them how they r gonna have the best mommy n daddy 🥺

“did u know ur mommy is one of my favorite people to be with? i know ur gonna hear the story one day of how we became parents but i have always loved her, even when we weren’t together i loved your mommy. i hope one day you will love someone as much as i love your mommy, i hope you get your mommy’s personality bub.”

ur fake sleeping wbk but u dont move so u can let him talk

around eight months u two are way more comfortable n are getting closer

he lets u borrow his clothes because u used to do that even when u weren’t pregnant and he figured they were more comfortable & better looking than ur maternity outfits 😣

he rly goes the whole nine yards, buying anything u can think of for the baby n he’ll sometimes wake u up from ur sleep (if he’s rly excited) just so he can show u what he bought

hyunjin is in love with u and kkami cuddling together

also when ur due date got closer u both def went out for walks with kkami or played in the dog park with kkami

(u couldn’t really be as active as hyunjin but it was fine with u just watching)

something within hyunjin changes n he just gets so shy n flustered around u ^.^

he’s crushing so hard on u and u can guess he is but then again u two were just living together for the pregnancy

it’s probably three in the morning n hyunjin had just came home

ofc u were crying

a rly cute dog ad was playing with a baby in it as well :(

u explain n hiccup while doing so

hes so s o f t at this moment

he presses a soft kiss to ur lips n ur like wow thats um—

he doesn’t even care how shocked u r this man goes back in for more kisses

“i want you, i wanna be a real family. i wanna one day marry you, have more babies or get other dogs, that’s all i’ve ever wanted since the day we met.”

enywayz u two r dating,, a g a i n

spooning half of the time during ur last few weeks of pregnancy, but the boys come over frequently n for some reason jeongin is always bringing presents?? its cute but u guys RLY didn’t need anymore toys for the baby

u guys r just cuddling n he’s got one hand on ur bump before ur like

“ow,, fuck that hurt.”

“hey don’t swear around the baby!”

u just suppose it’s a hard kick since the baby had been active a lot recently n the pains had been occurring often

kkami is very cuddly today n he’s giving u kisses

hyunjin lowkey jealous cause kkami doesn’t ever give him kisses like that  ⸜( ⌓̈ )⸝

yall ever seen the thing where dogs know pregnant people the best n they can like SENSE something goin on??

well kkami was on it 

baby kkami is sniffing u n just restless in ur lap n its a lil weird cause kkami is ALWAYS sleeping or sitting still cause kkami has turned as lazy as u n hyunjin

u have this feeling but instead u just tell hyunjin u gotta pee :P

newsflash: u didnt n as soon as u got up, boom, theres ur water breaking and running down ur leg

“it feels gross.”

ur literally whining about ur pants while a baby is coming out of ur ... hooha 😳 n hyunjin is freaking out

he’s rushing around the rooms n making sure everything is in the bag and nothing gets left behind

last thing on his mind is changing ur clothes

though he does, putting u in his baggy sweatshirt and a pair of his shorts

hes freaking out lets be honest the thought of u giving birth is fuckin scary

hyunjin is so out of it and spaced out while ur cool n talking normally with pauses everytime theres a contraction

“aish, why are you so worried? i’m the one that should be worried!!”

ur not cool after an u hit the four hours in labor mark

u do not want to be t o u c h e d

touching u is off limits ur so sweaty n ur body feels like its crumbling u cannot deal with someone holding ur hand or holding u

hyunjin just sits there

hes kinda in a different realm while he stares at the clock on the wall

hes so ready to meet the baby but apparently ur body was exactly 4 centimetres not ready :(

hes just trying to distract u by talking with the boys n his other friends, all of the face timing to talk to the parents to be 🥺

yall r wrapping up a call with jeongin when u have the built up pressure feeling again

he doesn’t even explain to jeongin hes so quickly to hang up n ask u whats wrong

“i— it feels like i have to push.”

he’s already pressing the pretty lil white button on ur bed for the nurses n doctors

they confirm that u indeed r ready to push and that the baby is in position

hyunjin trying to take a peek WHAT A WEIRDO

yall hearing ur baby has a head full of hair and u just give hyunjin this look

like WTF no wonder why u had so much heartburn its because of ur fuckin rapunzel baby daddy

here comes the cries, loud n u just heard the quietest sob from beside u which was hyunjin

“it’s a baby boy, congrats!!”

his lil puppy baby boy 🥺

he had a lil pout like his daddy n his brown locks on top of his head

it was kinda creepy how similar they looked

anyways u dont care ur lil boy is p e r f e c t and nobody could dare tell yall different

u would disagree anyways because thats ur lil pouty baby boy n hes so cute 🥺

“we got a pretty good break-up story right? one for the books.”

he’s got baby boy in his arms bundled up but that doesn’t stop u from smacking his arm before kissing him quickly

“yea, we do.”

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[thebookreader12345]

Identity Loss - Chapter Three

Chapter One     Chapter Two

It had been about a week since my apparent accident, and my memories still hadn’t come back, no matter how much I tried to get them to resurface. Will was trying to help me out too. Whenever he wasn’t working, he was doing things that we used to love, or ordering foods I used to enjoy. The hope was that maybe something would click a memory, but so far, nothing had worked. 

I groaned as the alarm clock next to be beeped for the hundredth time, and reached over to turn it off for good. I had been trying to get some more sleep, but every ten minutes, the alarm would blare in my ear, jolting me out of my sleep. Since  that obviously wasn’t working out, I guess it was time for me to get up. I sat up and stretched my arms above my head, enjoying the feeling of stretching my stiff limbs. I then pushed the blanket off of my body and climbed out of the bed, slipping on the slippers that were right next to me. Padding out to the living room, a yawn escaped my lips, and just as it did, the front door to the apartment opened, and Will stepped inside.

“Hey,” Will greeted and set him stuff down before scanning me up and down. When he saw that I was still in my pajamas, he frowned. “Did you just wake up?”

“Uh, yeah. Why?” I question and run a hand through my hair, which was probably a mess at the moment, but I didn’t care.

“Y/N, it’s time for lunch,” Will noted.

“I reckon I didn’t use to sleep in this late,” I guess and make my way to the kitchen to make some coffee.

“No. You were more of an early bird. Are those my slippers?” Will quizzed as he glanced down at my feet. I looked down at the house shoes covering my feet, and a slight blush tinted my cheeks as I noticed that I was indeed wearing Will’s slippers.

“Oh. Uh, sorry,” I confess.

Will smiled. “No worries. You uh, you actually used to do that quite a lot.”

I stopped making coffee to turn and look at him. “What are you saying? Is this a repressed memory coming back or something?”

Will shrugged. “No idea. But it’s a start.”

“So, what are you doing back so early? You’re supposed to be at work,” I point out.

“Ms. Goodwin let me take a half day. I’ve got a bunch of plans for us,” Will told me. “We’re gonna head downtown to see some of your favorite spots and then we’re going to-”

I cut Will off as a bit of anger swelled up inside of me. “What’s the point, Will? Ordering all of my favorite food didn’t work, and neither did doing all of my favorite activities, so this probably won’t either. Lets just face it. I’m never going to get my memories back.” I walked over to the couch and took a seat, pulling my knees up to my chest. Seconds later, Will did the same. He sat down on the cushion next to me and placed a comforting hand on my knee.

“Look, I know it may seem like you’re never going to remember anything. But trust me when I say that you will get your memories back. It may be today or next month, but it will happen. I’ve seen plenty of patients have similar accidents, and they’ve all come back, so I have hope that you’ll do the same. I just, I need you to have hope too,” Will explained. 

I took a deep breath, and all at once, the anger seemed to leave my body. This situation felt very familiar; Will trying to calm me down just by using his words. The little moments like these made me feel connected to my past self, and in a way, they filled me with content.

“Okay,” I murmur. “What have you got planned for us today?”

...............................................

Stop One: Buckingham Fountain

I stared up at the fountain in front of me, contemplating why my former self liked to come here. The fountain was beautiful in a majestic kind of way, but the current me would never go out of my way to come here.

“What’s the point of this place?” I ask Will, who was standing beside me admiring the fountain.

“It’s a fountain,” Will stated as if it were obvious. “You make a wish and throw a coin into the water, hoping that it will come true.”

“And I used to believe in this?” I question.

“A little, yeah,” Will confessed. “We came here on our first date, and you threw a coin into the fountain, wishing that our relationship would keep growing and stay strong forever. And look where we are now. We’re supposed to be getting married in a few months.” Will then took a quarter out of his pocket and handed it to me. “Here. Make a wish. Maybe it’ll come true.”

I hesitantly took the coin from his hand, staring down at the dull metal disc in my palm. I closed my fingers around the quarter and shut my eyes, thinking about the wish I wanted to make. But it didn’t take me that long to come up with one. I wish I could remember my old life. And with that, I tossed the coin into the fountain, watching as it sank to the floor where it settled in with all of the other wishes.

Stop Two: The Bean

I’ll admit, the Bean was pretty cool. It was just a large sculpture of a bean, but the way it was covered in one big mirror was what made it special. I loved the way you could see Chicago’s many skyscrapers from the reflective sides of the figure, and I also enjoyed the way the light bounced off of the statue.

“Wow,” I breathe out. “This is amazing.”

“Yeah. The old you used to think so too. You always came here when you wanted to be alone. Whether it was because of a tough shift at work or because you needed to make a big decision, you’d be here,” Will told me.

“Why do I get the feeling I used to come here after we had a big fight?” I question and turn to face Will.

Will laughed softly. “Because you did. One day during shift, we had a heated argument over the course of treatment for a patient, and after work you came here. I gave you some alone time before I drove down here so we could talk things out. We eventually figured things out, but that was the moment I knew I never wanted to lose you.”

Stop Three: The Riverwalk

The Riverwalk was filled with families and tons of smiling faces. There were college kids sitting around studying, parents watching their children talk excitedly, and even couples strolling alongside the river. I glanced over at Will, who was walking next to me, and my eyes traveled down to his hand. All I could think about was what it would be like to hold his hand and lace our fingers together. My eyes also caught sight of the engagement ring sitting on my finger. I kept it on, hoping it would help me remember my past life, but it didn’t do much seeing as I still had no memories.

“It’s a shame I can’t remember any of these places,” I say. “It seems like we had some good memories in all of them.”

“One of the perks of living in Chicago; there’s always something to see or do,” Will noted. Again, my gaze shifted down to Will’s hand, and the desperation to take hold of it overpowered me, so I did it. I reached over and took his hand in mine, entwining our fingers. Will didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to in order for me to understand that he didn’t mind. He didn’t pull his hand away, and he gave my hand a small squeeze, so we kept our hands locked together as we walked.

Stop Four: Lakefront Trail

“Here we are. The last stop,” Will announced as he parked the car. I climbed out of the passenger seat and took in the lake in front of us. The trail in front of us wasn’t as crowded as the Riverwalk, but every few seconds, someone either jogged by, walked along, or rode past on a bicycle. From where we were on the trail, the Chicago skyline stood in the distance, it’s tall buildings jutting into the bright sky. That’s when I recognized where we were. This was the Lakefront Trail, the same place where the engagement photo back at the apartment was taken.

“You recognize this?” Will asked me.

I nodded. “Yeah, but not from a memory. This is where that engagement photo in the living room was taken.”

“You actually picked out the destination,” Will spoke. “I wanted to do it on the beach, but you convinced me that this was a better spot.” For a few moments, the two of us stared at the horizon in silence, admiring the view. Finally though, I spoke up.

“Can I ask you something?” I question.

“Sure,” Will replied. “What’s up?”

“What happens if I don’t get my memories back?” I quiz.

“Y/N,” Will started, only for me to interrupt him.

“I’m serious, Will. Be honest with me here,” I plead. “What’s gonna happen to my career if I can’t remember anything? What’s gonna happen to us?”

Will sighed and kept his gaze trained at the lake in front of us. “I uh, I don’t know. I would love for you to get your memories back so that things could go back to the way they were before. And if that doesn’t happen, I guess you’ll have to start all over again. You know, figure out what you want to do. I don’t want to say this, but if that means we have to split up because you don’t want to be with me anymore, then so be it. I’m not going to force you to stay with me, and I’m definitely not going to force you to go back to Med if you don’t want to.”

“It’s funny that you bring that up. I remember everything I learned in med school to be a doctor. I could diagnose a patient right now if I wanted to, and I guarantee you that my diagnosis would be spot on. I don’t know why I can remember all sorts of illnesses and diseases, but not remember my life the way it was before, and that annoys me. All I want is for things just to go back to normal,” I let out.

“Yeah. Me too,” Will murmured. For a few more minutes the two of us stayed and took in the view, but Will soon turned his eyes away from the setting sun. “You ready to head back to the apartment?”

“Actually, there’s one more thing I want to do,” I declare and lean up, pressing my lips to his. All day, the one thing I wanted more than anything was to kiss Will and relish the way his lips feel against my own. And now, here I was doing just that. I cupped Will’s cheeks in my hands as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to his chest. One moment, I couldn’t remember anything, and the next, a rush of memories flooded my brain.

I remember Will and I’s first date at Buckingham Fountain, and the kiss we shared when he dropped me back off at my apartment. I remember staring at the Bean, hoping that it would help me figure out how to go home and face Will after we had an argument. I remember the countless walks Will and I shared on the Riverwalk. I remember taking the engagement photo here on the Lakefront Trail. And there were many more memories popping up in my head as well. Natalie, Maggie, and I drinking wine at on the couch in Nat’s house. Me helping Connor diagnose a cardio patient whose symptoms didn’t seem to fit any illness. April and I chatting away at the nurses’ station about our love lives. Will proposing to me in the lobby of Chicago Med. And I remembered my accident, the day my life went to hell.

“Y/N? You okay?” Will asked when he noticed that I had pulled away from him.

“Will, I remember. I remember everything,” I state. Will grinned widely and picked me up, spinning me around. When he placed me back on the ground, he swooped in and kissed me again, this time more passionately.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” Will mumbled and leaned his forehead against mine. “I told you this would work.”

“Oh shut up,” I joke. “Mind if we head back to the apartment now? I’m kind of tired after today. Getting all of my memories back really wore me out.”

“Yeah. Of course. Lets go. There are so many things I want to you with you right now, but I think I can manage to hold them off until later. Lets go,” Will said and laced his hand with mine before leading me back to his car.

The Next Day...

“Will, the cafeteria is that way,” I point out as Will led me down a hallway towards the ED. I hadn’t eaten breakfast this morning, so I was pretty hungry at the moment.

“I know, but there’s something I’ve got to show you first. Come on,” Will ordered lightly. I continued following Will, and he led me all the way to the residents’ lounge, inside of which were all of my friends and co-workers.

“Welcome back Y/N!” they all shouted as Will and I entered the room. 

I smiled at all of the people in front of me and turned to Will. “Did you do this?”

Will shook his head. “As much as I would love to take credit for all of this, it was Natalie and Maggie’s idea.”

“Well, I guess I should go and thank them. And say hello to everyone else,” I add. “But I will come find you later. I believe the day of my accident, we were interrupted just before we were about to do something. I’d very much love to continue that.”

“I couldn’t agree more. Now go and talk to everyone else. You’ve spent enough time with me,” Will exclaimed.

“Okay,” I mutter and lean up to place a quick peck on his lips. “I love you.”

Will grinned. “I love you too. Always have, always will.”

THE END

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And that’s the end of the story! I hope you all enjoyed it. I know I certainly did. Comment down below your favorite chapter out of the three, and also tell me your favorite part of the story. Thanks for reading!

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[fandomdancer]

The Dance

In the year 2169, you are a senior in high school. You've been best friends with the same two young men since grade school. One of them is your date to the senior dance. The other is the class loner: Eobard Thawne. When your date make a suddenly unexpected move, you find yourself feeling like the perfect night is ruined. But then Eobard shows up...

Word Count: 3,754 words

Rating: T, but may be M

Pairings: OC/Reader, Eobard/Reader

A/N: First attempt at a reader-insert fic. Special thanks to @darlingpetao3 @yetanotherwells @wellsaddict and @hawk-lee for listening to me freak out about this, inspiring me, and giving me the courage to actually post it. I hope it's interesting and fun for you to read.

This is Mattobard's version of Thawne, since it takes place during his teenage years.

This fic was inspired by this song (which is the featured waltz in the story). 'Pride and Penance', from World of Warcraft: Shadowlands.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZtBflZHIcQ

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The moment you step into the darkened dance hall, you feel as though you have been transported back in time. In fact, you can’t help but wonder if the organizers of this year’s spring formal are utilizing some of Rip Hunter’s famous Time Couriers to literally open a door to the past. Everything around is, at minimum, dated back a hundred years ago, from the DJ setting up digital playlists to the black-light-illuminated chairs seated around tables littered with drinks, plates of food, and what looks like games. The music right now is from the early 2000s, but you expect the songs to range through decades, possibly even centuries over the course of the night. Multicolored lights hang from the ceiling, giving the place an overall ‘club’ look, accentuated by the powerful underlighting at the bar.

The temperature increases as you enter on your date’s arm, the exertion from the dancing and milling bodies heating up the air in the room. The dance started only thirty minutes ago, but the excitement in the room is palpable, and kids are wasting no time yelling ‘hellos’ and ‘how are yous’ as they toss back nonalcoholic drinks. One table is already full of kids engaged in what looks like an intense card game with multicolored discs sprayed across the table in front of them.

Catching the fever of the room, you cast a huge grin up at your date, a handsome young man you’ve known since grade school. The two of you are dressed perhaps a little fancy for the event, with him in a fine, high-collared suit befitting a 20th century aristocrat and you in a deep red 1940s princess ballgown. Overdressing is okay: the two of you were expecting a slightly more ‘ballroom’ shindig, not this ‘21st century club’ event, and upon looking around you can see that other members of your class had similar ideas, wearing everything from 1800s Victorian gowns to military uniforms.

“They did a good job,” your date says. “Though one would think they could have come up with a more original theme name than ‘Blast to the Past’.”

“Don’t cheesy titles comprise part of the charm of last century?” you ask as the two of you move towards the obligatory picture arena. “Wasn’t stating the obvious considered not only funny, but…what was the word…a meemee?”

“Meme. One word, one syllable. And yes. Memes were a rather popular form of communication in the early 21st century, though I guess they started well before that.” Your date eyes the line and the picture-taking arena before them. “Is that….a phone booth?”

You are both intrigued as you watch a couple go into the booth, pulling a curtain shut and separating them from the outside world. Their feet are obvious as they scrabble into various positions, each one punctuated by a bright flash ands lots of giggling. The couple emerges, looking flushed and full of smiles, and watch as two thin strips of plastic emerged from the wall of the booth. The two grab the plastic strips and look at them, giggling as they walk away.

“It’s a photo booth.”

The voice right beside you and your date startles you, and you quickly look over to see one of the chaperones for the event, Ms. Steinway, a few feet away. The young teacher looks stunning in a green floor-length gown, her blonde hair floating ethereally around her shoulders. She gestures. “You go in, and you have five pictures taken of you in quick succession. There’s usually only three to four seconds between each photo so people often planned ahead what they would do ahead of time. You can make faces, or be serious…whatever you would like!”

“Thank you, Ms. Steinway,” you say before looking back to your date. “Well. I guess we have about a minute to come up with five different poses.”

“Why don’t we improvise? We’re both good thinkers on our feet.”

The tension and pressure of racing to beat a timed photo session is appealing to you, probably a side effect of all the time you've been spending lately with your other friend, Eobard Thawne. He has a strong taste for competition and it’s been rubbing off on you in the years you’ve known him.

The sudden thought of Thawne makes you skim the room, wondering if the class loner has actually shown up to tonight’s dance. You’re pretty sure he’s not here; this isn’t his type of thing at all. It’s certainly why you didn’t ask him to be your date. It’s also the only reason why you didn’t ask him to be your date. Eobard Thawne’s proud, handsome figure and strikingly keen intellect has drawn many a girl’s attention over the years, including yours, and you’ve made a concentrated effort to ignore it. But lately, you’ve noticed that he seems to be hovering near you much more often. And he got into a fistfight with your date a few weeks ago…you never did quite figure out what had caused that argument…

Seeing him here tonight would definitely open a lot of doors, however. Perhaps you would be brave enough to ask him for a single dance. He can be a truly arrogant ass but he has always been at least civil to you…probably because the two of you have also known each other since grade school.

Your date pushes you forward and you realize that, as usual, thoughts of Eobard have distracted you for several seconds. It is your turn in the photo booth.

The booth is small and simple, with a little touch screen that simply says ‘go’. A quick glance over the screen shows that presets are in place, with no way to change them. It is a little aggravating to not be able to customize the photos but you suppose that’s to get the line of kids moving quickly. With a quick glance at your date, the two of you reach out and tap the ‘go’ button together.

The very first thing he does is kiss you. It’s so fast and so intense that you don’t even have time to react. Suddenly his mouth is open and wet and moving on yours and his hand is in your carefully-crafted hairstyle and you are shocked beyond words because of all the poses you had considered in this run of pictures, your longtime friend kissing you was not one of them. You’ve suspected he felt this way about you and there was no doubt in your mind that he would be an excellent romantic partner, but you hadn’t really…thought about him like that. In fact, the only person you really thought about like that was…Eobard.

He finally pulls back and looks quickly at the camera, grinning widely. Your brain is fuzzed and rolling with several unfinished sentences and questions, but some little part of you keeps control and turns to smile bright and beautiful at the screen. The two of you make silly faces next, and as you are setting up for what you think is the next picture, the screen goes dark. You realize in shock that he used three of the five pictures to kiss you. Feeling frustrated and cheated, you get out of the booth, pasting a smile on your face so as not to appear angry to the line of kids waiting outside. You’ll have plenty of time to discuss his choices later.

The pictures print out and they’re definitely difficult to look at. The first one shows your obvious surprise, but the second two are worse, showcasing your desperate attempt to keep control of what is happening by grabbing at his face and responding to his kiss. It was not your best decision, but you feel like it was your only choice at the moment – and that realization makes you furious.

The two of you head to an unoccupied table, and the moment you set down the photos you whirl on your date, your insides twisted in knots and your throat almost sealed shut from the force of your anger. “What the hell?”

“What?”

It’s even hotter in this room with your anger charging you up. You are pretty sure your face is the color of your dress. “You kissed me.”

He smiles. “Of course I did. What did you think we were going to do in there?”

Your mouth drops open. “Make faces and smile! When did kissing appear on the list of things to do tonight?”

His brow furrows. “When you agreed to be my date. Come now, you can’t possibly miss all the signs I’ve given you. You know me better than that.”

His self-entitled arrogance sets your teeth on edge and you clutch the table so hard you’re amazed it doesn’t bend. “I’ve known you for almost all of my life and you have never been so rude as to just kiss someone without making sure it’s all right with them! You wait for that kind of invitation! You don’t blindside her during a timed picture taking session!”

“Spontaneity has never been your thing, and I respect that,” he begins to say.

You cut him off. “Clearly not or these wouldn’t exist!” You wave the pictures at him before slamming them down onto the table. You don’t know what you’re angrier about now; being forced into this situation before you felt ready, his seeming blindness to how the whole situation played out, or the fact that you feel like what should have been a beautiful moment is ruined and you are never going to get it back.

A waltz begins to play, the very song the two of you were hoping would be the focus of the evening, and he reaches a hand out to you. “You’re right. I made a terrible mistake. I thought it would be fun and I assumed you would be all right with it. I am sorry. I truly am. We will go have the pictures retaken. But will you dance with me? This sounds like a beautiful waltz and I don’t want to have ruined the night by making a terrible decision right at the beginning.”

He sounds sincere but you don’t answer him at first. Your mind is still awash with anger and betrayal and a sudden desire to be anywhere but in this room right now. You don’t want to just forgive him for doing this to you. But you also don’t want the night to be ruined, and right now the song playing sounds like it could be a wonderful dance and you aren’t sure how many more will be played with the selection of music likely being offered. Reluctantly, you slip your hand into his.

“We aren’t done with this conversation,” you state firmly.

“Of course not.” He twirls you gently. “But this song fits you and I want to see you dancing to it.”

You don’t know the name of the song, but it has a haunting melody to it, almost ghostlike with sliding violins. Waltzes always have a kind of built-in grace to them, a slippery seduction meant to make it easy to move to. But this piece has an additionally dramatic vocalist that elevates the rhythm to something royal and aristocratic. You can almost imagine the two of you (and the couples that are joining you on the floor) dancing in the hall of an ancient, grand mansion while a dark storm swirls outside the floor-to-ceiling windows and the dry fingers of tree branches curl menacingly in shadows on the floor, trapping the dancers’ feet in their grip.

“Pardon me.”

The familiar voice snaps you out of the daydream you are drifting into, and you rock slowly back and forth in your date’s arms as you realize Eobard is standing in front of you two. Your breath catches and your heart rate picks up instantly as you look at him. He looks as though he has stepped straight out of your daydream: a young lord trapped in a dying manor, cloaked in high-collared black and red with the light shimmering blindingly on his short blond hair. Even more shocking is the dramatic flair he has added to the outfit: a full-length black cape fastened at his neck with a ruby. He is too beautiful to touch and yet your hands…and other, sweeter, deeper parts of you…ache as you stare at him.

His eyes sweep over you and you think you see his jaw clench slightly before he speaks again. “May I cut in?”

“You’re in our way, Bardo,” your date growls, all softness and politeness gone from his voice.

“I wasn’t addressing you,” Eobard responds to him but doesn’t take his eyes off of you. Your throat is growing dry from the simple intensity of his gaze. “I was addressing your partner." He nods to you. "May I cut in?”

You finally register what he is asking, and the thrill that races through you makes you shiver. You had thought you might have the courage to ask him to dance if you had seen him here, but him asking you is completely unexpected. Saying no to him might prevent him from asking again, but saying yes would probably send the wrong message to your date.

Then again, your date certainly sent you the wrong message when he forced you to kiss him in the photo booth.

It’s a very simple question with a very simple answer.

“I would be honored,” you reply, trying to sound as cool and proper as possible. As you pull away from your date, you feel his hands clench briefly on you. You quickly look up at him, seeing the betrayal in his eyes. At first you feel smug, but then you remind yourself that he did apologize. You give him your best comforting smile. “We’ll continue this later,” you say to him, making his expression soften just a little. But the look he gives Eobard is poisonous.

Eobard’s expression doesn’t change. Instead, he unfastens the cape from around his neck and whips it dramatically off, draping it unceremoniously on your date’s still-outstretched arms. “Would you be so kind as to place this on a nearby chair?”

Redness floods your date’s face, and you start to open your mouth to scold Eobard for his rudeness, but his hands grip you firmly and he spins you away into the dancing crowd before you can say a word. Your feet scrabble as you try to keep up, and you have a feeling he’s trying to get you as far away from your date as fast as possible. Focusing on your movements, you catch his rhythm and begin to move in time with him, gaining control over yourself while still permitting him to lead. You’re angry enough now that you’re tempted to just walk out the door after this dance. When did your two best friends turn into such boys? They’re acting like you’re a prize in a competition and while that might be flattering, it’s making you feel a bit like an object and not like the lady you want to be tonight.

“You dance well,” Eobard compliments.

You roll your eyes. “You dragged me out here and I just got my balance back. Don’t patronize me.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” he answers. “I mean what I say. I saw you trying to dance with your date over there. He was trying. You were succeeding.”

You snort and sigh. “I wish the two of you would tell me why you both seem to have lost your minds lately.”

Eobard tilts his head. “Isn’t it obvious?”

Your heart pounds and you know what you hope the answer is, but coming right out and saying it feels like a such a terrible risk. Eobard’s emotional difficulties make him dangerous sometimes, the wrong word or look pushing him away for days at a time. You are not going to ruin this night, this dance, this moment that has been playing in your dreams.

“Obviously not, or I wouldn’t have brought it up,” you say, trying to put an innocent look on your face. You aren’t sure if it works or not, but the hard look in Eobard’s eyes softens somewhat, and he guides you around the floor. Looking up at him, you surrender your mind to the daydream, milking this moment for all it is worth. The seductive waltz paints the image of a great hall, decadent in its decay, the memory of opulence just as romantic as the opulence itself. And Eobard, cold and proud and throat-achingly beautiful, spins you around it, commanding your body with his touch, and commanding your mind with his eyes.

“Your friend and I,” he says in a low voice, “are both seeking your approval.”

Dear God, he actually said it. You’re almost dizzy with excitement as you frantically think of how to navigate the next few sentences. Honesty is going to be key. “You have a funny way of showing it. First that fistfight a few weeks ago and now tonight he just kisses me out of the blue and then you drag me off like I belong to you or something…”

“He did what?” Eobard stops the two of you cold, and you blink, looking up at his grey eyes, watching in surprise as they turn stormy and dark. His pale face begins to flush as he gazes down at you. You can’t tell if what you’re seeing is anger or not, but as his eyebrows draw together you feel your insides flutter. It’s more than just anger. It’s jealousy.

Eobard is jealous.

The realization makes your throat close and you swallow several times as adrenaline floods your veins. The possibilities open up in your mind, and you suddenly realize that while both men are, in fact, treating you like a prize, you are still the one in control.

“He kissed me for our photo,” you say carefully, letting the frustration and hurt show on your face. “I didn’t know he was going to.”

Eobard looks at you, his jaw clenching and unclenching, and his face continuing to grow red. His hands tighten on your waist and hand, and a strange excitement blooms in your chest. Eobard Thawne, so aloof and elitist, suffering from the simple emotion of jealousy. And jealousy related to you, because he’s seeking your approval. Despite the heat of the moment, you find yourself fighting a smile.

“Did you enjoy it?” he asks tightly.

You know the truth and you know what saying it will mean. But right now, you are unable to lie to him, captivated by the thrill of his reaction and the intoxicating crescendo building around you.

“No.”

Eobard’s chin lifts and a smug satisfaction fills his eyes as the music crescendos loudly. With a climactic crash of drums, he decisively pushes you out into a firm spin, and then brings you back in, his hand slipping to the small of your back and holding you flush against his body. And for one fiery, fierce moment, you realize that you can feel him, dear God, all of him, pressed possessively against you, and a weakness makes your knees wobble and your mouth go dry as you stare into his eyes, only inches away, and realize what he is silently saying to you.

Then the two of you are moving again as he takes everything up another notch, whirling you both within the crowd as though you have all the space in the world. The music pounds with your steps, pulsing inside of you, the melody a full-throated cry from the whole orchestra, igniting adrenaline and fire within you. Your mouth falls open to gasp for air as your eyes drift closed. You don’t need to see, only to feel the clutch of his hands and the heat of his body and the light pressure on your waist as he leads you.

And then, in one powerful beat, the music stops. Eobard pushes you backwards into a dramatic dip, holding you up while your hands claw at him. You can’t see the ecstasy on your face but a few gasps from the people around you suggest that the two of you may be in a very compromising position. You don’t care. Your body is shaking and tingling. You feel sweat dampening your skin, and the heat…you’re drowning in it. But you don’t want to move. You don’t want it to be over. Most of all, you don’t want his hands leaving you. Ever.

Your breath comes in heavy gasps as he draws you up to your feet. He steadies you, and your eyes finally drift open. The sight before you makes you shiver again. Eobard is breathing just as hard as you are, and has the same slightly dazed expression on his face that you are feeling. You vaguely realize that while you were trying to keep your balance you gripped his hair and shirt because both of them are bunched and mussed. But neither of you can look away from the other for several seconds.

Finally, he is the first one to move. He gently straightens his shirt and runs a hand through his hair. He brings his heels together and reaches for your hand. He bows, lifting your hand to his lips and placing a chaste kiss on the back of it.

“Thank you,” he says, “for the lovely dance. If you’ll excuse me, I believe I need some air.”

You nod slowly. “I…think I do too.”

Something sparks in his eyes, and he offers you his arm. You consider taking it, but the sensation that sweeps through you as you realize what the implications are stop you. You are awash in powerful emotions now, enough to know that if you go with him, you’re going to do something you want…

….oh do you want….

….but on impulse, caught up in the moment.

You know you need to gather yourself. The night has only just begun.

“I will see you back in here,” you reply, offering a polite curtsey. It isn’t a blatant rejection, just more of a ‘not now’. Eobard seems to understand and his withdraws his hand before turning and striding for the door.

You head for a different exit, catching a glimpse of your date just as you leave the room. His face is a thunderstorm, and you feel a slight chill that cuts through the hazy fog of your mind.

The night has only just begun, and you have a feeling it’s going to be a long one.

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Here to Misbehave (Pt. 13 | S.R.)

Series Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Finale |

Summary: Spencer finally meets Reader’s roommate while the two prepare for a picnic. After Spencer lectures Reader on the dangers of the outdoors, the two face a different kind of danger at the bank.

Couple: Spencer/Fem!Reader 
 Category: Smut (NSFW, 18+) Content Warning: Gun violence mention Word Count: 6.3k

MASTERLIST

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Although I’d been inside (Y/n)’s apartment several times now, I couldn’t say I’d ever actually looked much at my surroundings. It felt strange to admit that, mostly because I felt like I was doing something wrong; like I was a traitor to my job.

But then again, it felt worse to try to profile her. The few times I had made it obvious, she had made it very clear it was unappreciated. I could understand why.

So, before we even got to her door, I tried to quiet the voices screaming in my head, telling me to look for clues to all the unknowns about her. It wasn’t because I was expecting her to be hiding anything; I just wanted to know everything about her.

I could simply wait for her to tell me, though. We had all the time in the world, right?

“Laura, I’m home!” She called out immediately after breaching the entrance, following the exclamation with a very hurried request. “Spencer is here so please don’t be weird!”

The response was a calm, steady series of footfalls down the hall. The girl stuck her head around the corner, peeking at the two of us with a devilish grin.

“Pleasure to finally meet you, Dr. Reid.”

I told myself I probably shouldn’t be this nervous. If she was friends with (y/n), she was most likely a decent person. But let’s just say women around that age had never been particularly kind to me. They brought to the surface a lot of memories I’d tried very hard to bury.

She didn’t put her hand out to shake, which told me they’d already probably talked about me more than I’d have liked. ‘Wait,’ I thought to myself, ‘Is it okay to profile her roommate?’

“I’m going to go get a basket together. Wait in the living room, my kitchen is a disaster.”

Before I could argue, she had already disappeared, leaving me stranded in the hallway with her roommate who looked ready to cause trouble. I just hoped it wouldn’t the kind that revolved around me.

She waved a hand in front of her, motioning for me to make my way into the living room. Once we were there, she immediately took a seat, but I remained standing. Felt better to be able to escape.

The silence was awkward and suffocating. I could feel her staring at me, but she wasn’t saying anything. It felt wrong to look back.

“She says you read people for a living.” Her voice had a hint of skepticism in it I’d grown used to. “Sounds kind of like what psychics say.”

“Yeah, we use a lot of the same strategies, too. They just aren’t as honest about it as we are.”

“What do you see here?”

That was what got me to turn around and face her. She looked so comfortable, curled up on the couch.

“Pardon me?” The question caught me off guard, even though it shouldn’t have. I’d heard it so many times.

“What does our apartment say about us?” She asked, clearly not understanding why it was an inappropriate thing to ask. Or more likely, just didn’t care. Curiosity is a powerful thing.

I cleared my throat before looking back away and saying, “I agreed not to profile (y/n).”

“Well, can you at least tell which stuff is hers?”

I’m sure she was just checking to see if I was legitimate or just scamming her. Maybe she was checking to see if I was too good at it.

She didn’t need to worry. (Y/n) could handle herself. She wasn’t tricked easily. In fact, most of my intrigue and concern surrounding her unknowns was just how good she was at hiding things.

It wasn’t until I had registered that question and was staring at her walls with a newfound sense of purpose, that I realized how little I knew about her past. Then again, I don’t really care about her past.

It had made her who she was today, and that was the woman I loved.

My fingers brushed over old, cracked plastic on DVD cases displayed on a shelf beside the console center.

I didn’t even notice I was smiling at first, realizing that she’d kept the physical cases despite all the streaming services. She clearly still used the discs, too.

“These... are hers.”

“How can you tell?” The response in the form of a question told me I was right, and only made me feel even more deeply. Despite my greatest efforts to not look so excited by something so silly, I turned back around with my lips still curled in an awkward smile.

“Educated guess. Adrenaline.”

“What?” The confusion in her voice reminded me that she wasn’t aware of one of my deepest personality flaws.

“Research shows that only about 10% of the population are so called ‘adrenaline junkies,’ people who enjoy roller coasters and horror movies. It’s more often men than women, but it’s hard to tell because of the way we’re socialized.”

If I had turned around to face her, I probably would have seen the dead stare she was giving me during my rant.

“Regardless, people tend to either love horror or hate it. So, I considered the fact that (y/n) seems to enjoy things like... sneaking into bars with fake IDs and… other risky behavior.”

Well, that was close.

“But what really gave it away was the fact they’re not dusty, which means they’re still being used despite all of these movies being available on streaming services I know for a fact she uses. Considering how patient she is with my own Luddite tendencies I just figur—“

“Wow.”

The word cut off my train of thought, and I realized that I had barely breathed since I’d started. Wincing in response to the dumbfounded look on the poor girl’s face, I gave a nervous chuckle.

“Sorry. I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

“A little bit,” she said with her own little pity laugh. I’m sure (y/n) had told her enough about me that this wasn’t that big of a surprise.

“I do that when I’m nervous.”

“You shouldn’t be nervous,” she said like it was the easiest advice in the world, “You’re right about her, you know.”

Staring down at my feet, I wondered why the confirmation from her roommate meant so much to me. I hadn’t been actively trying to figure out things about my girlfriend — it felt wrong. But for whatever reason, knowing I had the ability to figure it out meant more when it was about her.

Laura laughed again, craning her neck to look around the corner before she quietly spoke. “She says it was the other way around, but she’s the one who convinced me to streak the lawn.”

Ah, the age-old tradition of UVA students. It was so easy to picture her stripping down to nothing in the dead of the night to prance down the length of manicured grass. My own personal little pixie.

If it was just an attempt to calm my nerves, it was working. Putting the focus back on (y/n) was a surefire way to bring out the best in me. She just had that effect on me.

“I am entirely unsurprised by this information,” I said before walking over to the other side of the room, noting the distinct lack of pictures of family among the shelves that clearly belonged to her.

Don’t read into it, I told myself, she might just keep them somewhere else.

“She also drank an entire water bottle of vodka during a full day of classes one time, just because I bet that she wouldn’t.”

I scoffed at the image of her drunk. It’d been a while since I’d seen her like that, and both times had been remarkably unique. She’s a dead giveaway; I was surprised she hadn’t been caught.

“I can’t say I relate to that,” I sadly admitted. Sometimes it was hard to realize that if I’d known her at the same age, we probably wouldn’t have gotten along. I used to hate people like that.

Granted, they had usually also hated me.  

“She did mention you were a genius or something. I kind of figured. That’s her type.”

Well, that was information I couldn’t just gloss over. I furrowed my brow with a disbelieving smile, finally looking at the girl who was avidly watching my every move.

“Is it? I always pictured her with someone with more… Kinaesthetic intelligence.”

She gave me that look people give me when I said something weird, but continued nonetheless, “I don’t really know what that means, but she takes school pretty seriously. Honestly, probably a little too much. Part of why I dared her.”

“It’s strange to imagine her in class.” I hadn’t meant to say it, but once it was out there, I couldn’t take it back. And I was glad I couldn’t, because I was very curious about the answer.

“She’s the girl who knows all the answers and shuts down all the stupid guys trying to talk over her.”

I knew that those behaviors weren’t exactly favored in classrooms, having myself been the one at the brunt end of the bullying that followed.

“It’s pretty impressive.” She was being genuine when she spoke, and I was inclined to agree. At the same time the thought crossed my mind, I found a picture of her perched on the lap of the Thomas Jefferson statute.

God, I loved that girl.

“I bet she is.”

Almost on call, (y/n) poked her head into the room with wary eyes, looking at me as I awkwardly waved before looking back to her roommate.

“Laura, are you being weird?”

The girl rolled her eyes, but didn’t respond. Instead, she turned to me like it was my question to answer. Afraid to spoil any tenuous, newly formed loyalties, I shook my head no.

“Okay…” She only barely accepted my answer, “But if you say some dumb shit and get arrested, I’m not bailing you out.”

Briefly sticking out her tongue as she walked past me, she continued on her way. I couldn’t help but give that lovestruck, idiotic grin I always gave when she was around. If you’d told me I would’ve ever felt like this about someone who felt the same about me, I wouldn’t have believed you. Part of me still didn’t believe she could ever love me the same as I loved her.

Turning back to the girl cringing at the blatant intimacy shared in a simple glance, I immediately became awkward again.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t bring my handcuffs.” I joked, showing my hands in a strange display of innocence.

She… took a different approach.

“I know for a fact she has a few pairs in her room if you need one.”

A high-pitched whine nearly escaped my throat at the casual mention, and I cleared my throat and turned to look at her with a very unconvincing laugh. “W-what?”

“You have to know it’s impossible for her to keep her sex life a secret,” she droned with a bored expression, “I live one room over.”

“Right,” I nodded.

There was an extended, never ending silence as she just let me stew in my own discomfort. It didn’t seem to bother her one bit, because the longer I avoided her eyes the more she seemed to smile.

“I’m uncomfortable.” I finally admitted, and she just shook her head, running her hand through her hair before giving me one final hard look.

“You’re sweet. You make her happy. I appreciate that.”

My mouth scrunched in a humble half-smile, my hands finding their way back into my pockets as I tried to consider the reality I’d found myself in. Of all the infinite possibilities, I got to exist in the version of the world where I loved a girl who loved me back.

“It’s all her,” I finally said with a voice that crackled far too much for my liking, “I don’t do anything. I’m just the lucky one she decides to keep around.”

Laura flashed an approving grin, but then got up when she heard the familiar, happy feet beating down the hallway. (Y/n) burst out from around the corner, her arms full with a picnic basket and a blanket she clearly owned for just these occasions.

“Ready to go, babe?”

“Lead the way.”

I’d have followed her anywhere.

—————————————————

It was the perfect time of year for a picnic, despite Spencer’s insistence that there was no such thing. Once we were in the park, his whining dramatically decreased. Maybe it was the sunshine, or maybe it was the smile on my face, but he was certainly in brighter spirits.

He even let me rest my head on his lap, his legs crossed underneath me while he alternated between staring off at the trees slowly losing their color to autumn and my quiet contentment as I nibbled on an assortment of fruits.

There was no awkward silence or hidden darkness in this day, and even the sweetest strawberry couldn’t be more refreshing. To be here with Spencer, soaking in the late Summer sun, was all I could ever ask for.

But I was also eager to take advantage of the uncharacteristic softness between us. It wasn’t often we could share moments like this. Between his job and all our problems over the past few months, I wasn’t sure when we could be like this again.

“Let’s talk about something fun.” I blurted out, earning an intrigued look from my boyfriend. He readjusted his position, leaning back on his hands so he could look down at me easier.

“Okay, like what?”

“Don’t make fun of me…” The way he was looking at me gave me no hope he would actually listen to me, but I continued anyway, “I have conversation starters I looked up.”

He snorted while trying to suppress his chuckle. “Of course you do.”

Dropping my mouth open, I reached up to lightly smack him on the face for immediately doing exactly what I had asked him not to.

“What? Like you’re the epitome of sociable, Dr. Reid?”

He ran a hand through his hair, trying to stop the laughter that kept bubbling in his chest over something that was decidedly not that funny at all. We were just that stupid kind of happy where everything was wonderful.

“I’m just not surprised!” He reminded, then nodded for me to continue, “Go on, tell me one.”

“Tell me something you’re scared of.” I shot back, excited to hear the answer.

“The dark.” It was the most anticlimactic, stereotypical answer I could have imagined. It was my turn to scoff now, hardly believing the answer to be real.

“Seriously? You’re an FBI Agent, Spencer.”

“You told me not to make fun of you, but then you make fun of me? Unfair. I didn’t sign up for this scrutiny.” His legs started to move under me as he pretended like he was about to dump me from his lap and leave me here.

“Fine!” I shouted, reaching my hands up to grab his face. Although they fumbled awkwardly from my strange position, he took the time to lean to the side and kiss my palm lightly. “Favorite memory of the two of us.”

He blew out a long breath, his eyes squinted like they always did when he was in deep contemplation. But something told me something actually jumped straight to his mind, but he was holding it back for some other reason.

“That’s not fair. There are too many.”

I wasn’t falling for it. I flicked his nose before pulling my hand back, smiling at the way he jerked away like it actually hurt him. Giant baby.

“No cop out answers, old man. Favorite one!”

Spencer just sighed, letting his head fall back as he actually thought about what he was about to say for once in his life. I took the brief moment without his scrutiny to reflect on just how lucky I was to be able to see him like this.

“Okay. So, remember when we went to the bakery in Downtown?” He asked like I could have forgotten.

“Pauls? Yes, I remember.”

They’re legends in the area, but a total pain to try and get. You have to get there first thing in the morning and wait in a ridiculous line. But they were always worth it. Spencer had told me he’d never been, and I just couldn’t let such an injustice stand.

“While we were waiting in that ridiculous line, I remember looking at you and just seeing how excited you were for a donut, even at 7 in the morning.”

“That’s objectively the best time for a donut.” I interrupted with the most matter-of-fact tone I could emulate.

“Right,” he laughed, recalling how I kept reminding him of that fact while in line, “Well, we got to the front and before I could even talk, you had already ordered one for me.”

It took me a second to remember exactly what had happened. So much had happened since then, the memories were becoming muddled in my mind. But once I did remember, I smiled.

“Chocolate frosted with sprinkles. For the child in us all.”

“That’s it.” His voice had gotten soft so quickly, his hand brushing over my cheek while he played with the strands of hair blowing back over my face. “That’s my favorite memory.”

If I didn’t make a joke of it soon, I was scared my heart would burst.

“Really? That’s your favorite memory? Of all things?” I asked with a playful grin, clasping both of my hands around his and holding it against my chest.

“Yes.” For a man of so many words, it meant so much more when he spoke so little. You could feel the truth in the way the sound hit your ears.

Even as I bit on the inside of my cheeks to withhold my excited giggle, he was looking at me like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Spencer, that’s so lame.”

In that way he always did, he so charmingly replied, “How fitting for us.”

“Rude,” I muttered, finally finding the strength to sit up from my position on his lap. The world only spun for a second as I reoriented myself. He seemed equally grateful, stretching his legs out in front of him.

“What else do you want to make fun of me for?” Spencer said with a smile, watching as I reached into the small basket and pulled out a small clementine. I ran through the questions in my head, trying to decide which one to spend our limited time on.

“Okay,” I decided, “What did you think the first time you saw me?”

His face scrunched up with the leftover embarrassment from our very first meeting, during which the first thing he had ever done to me was lie. It had been a flattering one, though.

As I popped a section of the small citrus fruit into my mouth, I noticed the way he licked his own lips. The sight caused butterflies to flurry in my stomach, and I wondered which was more appealing to him; the mouthwatering scent of oranges or the idea of slipping something else between my lips.

“I thought... that you were beautiful and intriguing. And I was right.”

I got my answer to my preceding thought, because he had quickly wrapped his hand around the back of my head, pulling me into a kiss with crushing force. For someone who wasn’t the biggest fan of public displays of affection, he certainly didn’t mind kissing me like this.

Despite how deep and hard it was, it ended far too quickly. I sucked on my bottom lip as he left, staring up at him with wonder and devoted attention.

“Why was I intriguing?”

He clearly hadn’t thought that far ahead, probably hoping that the kiss alone would distract me from asking any more questions about that night. Unable to get out of it now, though, he just shrugged with a nervous chuckle, “You... were looking at me?”

My laugh, on the other hand, was full bodied as I pushed him away from me with just enough force that he actually almost toppled over.

“That was it? Because I looked at you?”

It seemed so silly, but I could tell by the way he responded that he meant it. He had told me before, on that night actually, that he wasn’t used to women showing him attention. But surely, he must just be missing it. He was an amazing man.

“I don’t know. There’s just something about you.” He paused between his words, taking a deep breath before attempting to work through his thoughts, “Like... like things just revolve around you. You have this intense gravitational pull that just told me that I had to get closer to you or I wouldn’t be able to survive.”

Fighting back the blush quickly forming on my cheeks, I struggled to maintain my typical aloof nature. I couldn’t have him getting a swelled head just because he could string together a couple cute sentences.

“Are you calling me a star, Dr. Reid?”

“I guess I am, yeah.” He hit me back with that confidence he rarely displayed outside of our play. I loved to see it like this. It made me feel like I was actually with him, rather than any manicured person he’d created to suit the needs of the current situation.

“If you felt that strongly about it, then why lie and say you weren’t checking me out? I could’ve left, you know.”

“But you didn’t.”

“Yeah, but I thought about it.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. There had been a couple of times during that night that I almost cut my losses—admitted that we were just too different to ever be compatible. Thank god I’d ignored that flawed instinct.

“I wouldn’t have blamed you. Have you looked at your boyfriend? I’m so weird.”

The ease with which he flouted his eccentricities brought a smile to my face, and I shook my head as I tried to fight back in his defense. “You’re not that weird.”

“Are you joking? Look at yourself. You’re—You’re normalcy personified! No, actually, you’re not even that. You’re this... beautiful, smart, talented young girl and I’m just an old man who’s hoping to keep you around long enough that you forget you have better options out there.”

The longer he spoke, the more my jaw dropped open. Eventually, I had devolved into a fit of laughter.

“Dr. Reid, you can’t seriously be telling me that you think I am out of your league!”

“I mean—!” he started, but I wasn’t going to allow him to even entertain the thought. I clapped my hand over his mouth, nearly climbing onto his lap to hush any noises he attempted to make.

“No way!” I shouted, “Shut up!”

Instead of trying to wrench my hand away, his hands came to rest on my hips. I could feel the smile spreading across his cheeks under my fingers.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Spencer. Fucking FBI Agent with three PhDs. Get out of here.”

He began bouncing his leg under me, and when I looked down to see what he was doing, I was shocked to feel a wetness on my palm. Ripping my hand away, I looked at my hand to see the swipe of saliva over the skin.

“Did you just fucking lick me?!” I screeched, unable to comprehend what had just happened, staring at my boyfriend with a shit-eating grin on his face. “I touched the ground with this hand! What are you doing?!”

“Yeah, I’m definitely going to rinse my mouth with bleach when we get home. But it was worth it, to see that look on your face.”

He went to wipe his own face, but I still couldn’t get over the fact my hand was fucking wet. So I took my hand once more, wiping the residue of his own spit back over his cheek. Surprisingly, he just let me do it, laughing as he only slightly tilted his head back.

“Nasty old pervert,” I joked, rolling my body off him and sitting on own once more.

“You’re very mean when you’re nice to me.” Spencer pouted.

I was distracted, trying to get my hair to stay out of my face and mouth as the wind started to whip through the park. Still, I managed to say a few very important words of warning.

“Yeah, well, get used to it, bud.”

Taking pity on my obvious distress, he reached out to grab my arm, tugging me back over to him. “Come here, little girl.” he instructed while I crawled over on all fours to sit between his legs.

I was going to ask him what he was planning when I felt his hands begin threading through my hair. I sat patiently, recognizing the pattern he was weaving.

“... When did you learn how to braid hair? Did your mom teach you?”

“My mom has short hair.” It was an evasive, but truthful answer, so I didn’t press it. I was sure I would find out more about his family as time went on. I just had to keep reminding myself that we had all the time in the world to get to know each other.

“I never learned how to braid hair specifically. I’m just applying the same pattern I would with a knot or a puzzle.”

“How romantic.” I gasped, tucking my hands between my legs as I enjoyed the way it felt for him to play with my hair.

It was always bizarre, to consider the way he could be so soft in moments like this. Or rather, that he could be so far the opposite at other times. In my heart, he was always the kind, goofy man I had met that night at the bar.

But I’d seen him angry, depressed, and in pain. I’d seen him desperate and scared. Basically, the only way I hadn’t seen Spencer Reid was however he was at work. Part of me wished that I could; it was obvious he was good at it and, to a certain degree, enjoyed it.

Then again, when I know he does things like get shot at, it makes it a little bit harder to be interested in. I couldn’t imagine getting that phone call one day while they loaded him into the back of an ambulance... or worse.

“Ah, the things I do for love.” His calm, smooth voice tore me from the destructive thoughts and back into his warm embrace.

“Hey, Spencer, I have a serious question.”

“Well, that’s terrifying.” He joked, holding out his hand for my hair tie, which I happily gave him. I hated to admit that he did a better job at braiding my hair than I’d ever done. Freaking stupid genius stuff.

“When do I get to say it back?”

I swear, I felt a chill spread through the air between us. His entire body froze, his hands stuck mixed with the elastic as he tied off the braid.

It was an intense, unwelcome flashback to the second night I’d spent with him, when we had talked about things too serious, too soon.

Terrified, I immediately cut off anything he might have been able to say, muttering, “Never mind. Forget I asked.”

Letting my hair slip from his fingers, he let his hand drag along my spine. I wished I could see the look on his face, but I didn’t dare turn around.

“I’m sorry.” He said after another moment of silence, and it physically pained me the way the words fell from his lips.

“Don’t apologize,” I said in the cheeriest tone possible, trying to lighten the mood, “I just wanted to test the waters.”

With that, I spun around dramatically, noting the way his face lit up once it saw the smile on my own. “And they are frozen solid!”

He laughed at the enthusiasm I displayed, swiftly throwing his arms around me in a tight embrace.

“Well, I’ll just have to warm you up, then.” My whole body in his arms, he yanked me off the ground and onto himself. I struggled playfully under his arms, not paying any attention to the other people in the park watching our childish antics.

“Hypothermia is very dangerous, after all,” he lectured, “Let me take your temperature.” Burying his face in my neck, I felt the familiar overstimulation that accompanied frantic, light touches of my sides.

“Stop!” I burst with laughter, “You’re tickling me!”

The movements all halted, but only to be followed with a terrifyingly devious tone of Spencer’s voice. “You’re ticklish?”

“Don’t you dare—”

“Oh, I love this information.” And just like that, he began his onslaught. His fingers danced over every inch of my sides, his lips pressing quick, frenzied kisses against the underside of my chin. The harder I laughed, the more he continued.

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” I screeched like a banshee, trying to slip from his hands or turn around—anything to get the upper hand again.

After nearly wrestling him, I managed to get both hands on his shoulders and shove him back against the blanket. The force with which we hit the ground knocked the air from his lungs, and he groaned at my body weight on his chest.

“Okay, okay! You win!” He yelled, holding his hands in front of me while struggling not to touch the ground with his head. “I’m not risking more surface area of contact with the ground to fight you.”

“(Y/n) emerges victorious!” I grabbed hold of both of his hands, shaking his arms with all my leftover adrenaline while I cheered myself on.

“Dork,” he muttered under his breath before he grabbed my sides, laughing at the way I instinctually jerked. I threw myself off of him to avoid the potential tickles, landing clumsily next to him. And Spencer, being the genius, recognized it as the perfect opportunity to pin me against the ground.

Wasting no time, he pressed the same instruments which had begun the great tickle war against my own lips. My hands found their way to his cheeks, pulling him closer as his tongue easily found mine. Just like it always did with us, it felt like the world was disappearing around us.

All I could feel, smell, taste, think, was Spencer Reid. His love and admiration flowed from him with ease, and I was happy to take it in. After a few minutes, we had to break apart. We might like a little bit of exhibitionism, but I was pretty sure neither of us actually wanted to tear the other’s clothes off in a park.

Could you imagine if people knew he was an FBI Agent? I was sure they already thought our age gap strange. But I didn’t care what they thought. Because right now, we were happy.

“I’m the dork you love, though.” I whispered against his lips.

“Indubitably,” he mumbled back, starting to laugh at the way the word sounded in our teenage love-like delirium.

“Now who’s the dork.” I teased as I smoothed my hands over his shoulders.

“Hm. Still you. And a little bit me, too.”

Laughter was bursting from me again.

“You have grass in your hair, idiot.” Before he could do anything about it, my hands were all over it, ruffling his hair wildly out of place. He just squeezed his eyes shut, letting me ruin any semblance of maturity or control from his appearance.

“Wow. Thanks for that.”

“You’re welcome.” I chirped, accepting the small peck he gave me before he started to retreat from his spot above me.

“You ready to head home?”

“Yeah, just about,” he sighed like it was a terrible thing to do. He hadn’t even wanted to come on this picnic!

“I promised to check you for ticks, after all.”

Ah, the real thing we were both looking forward to. Although, I was sure he was going to take it way too seriously for a few minutes before we devolve into sex on the bathroom floor.

“Mmm. I’m thrilled.” I replied honestly, struggling to sit up now that my body had already slipped into Spencer Reid is on Top of You mode. It was one of those rare moments when I wondered if there really was a female version of blue balls, because I was almost certain I had it.

“I have to stop at the bank first, though. I’ll go throw this stuff in the car and we can just walk over.”

“Sure thing, old man.” I huffed as I stood up, holding the much lighter basket while he collected the blanket. Once he took it all from me, I glanced over at the nearby bench with a pout.

“I’m going to miss you.”

“You’re cute,” he smiled, kissing my cheek like it were a more serious goodbye, “I’ll be right back.”

While I waited for him, I cautiously watched the large, dark clouds rolling over the horizon. They threatened to swallow the sunshine that we’d basked in less than hour before. I tried not to think anything of it.

It wasn’t a metaphor; it wasn’t an omen. It was just the weather.

Spencer must have seen the anxiety, because when he came back, he gingerly placed his arms around me from behind, resting his head on my chin.

“I guess we have good timing. It looks like it’s about to storm.” I absently spoke, my eyes still fixed on the sky.

“Yeah, typical finicky Virginia weather, I guess.”

I wasn’t sure if I actually heard it in his voice or made it up, but I swore Spencer was also trying to stop himself from thinking something of the rain. I was probably just being paranoid. It was just a storm. They happened.

“Well, let’s get going so you can cash your check in person like an eighty year old man.” I joked, grabbing his hand and dragging him back towards the exit to the park.

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration. There are other people my age who don’t trust cell phone banking transactions.”

“Are there, though?”

He just shook his head, deciding it wasn’t worth it to get into it with me. Typical young kids, he must have thought, so irresponsible. But he didn’t say it, just held my hand on the short, quiet walk to the ornate building on the corner of two busy streets.

I swung our hands dramatically back and forth, earning an unamused, but still playful, glare from him.

“Your age is showing,” he pointed out before licking his lips and avoiding my eyes. I glared right back before responding, “Your stick-in-the-mud-ness is showing.”

“Not a word. Not a phrase. Not a thing.”

He stopped our hands dead in their tracks as he crossed the threshold, and for a second, I thought he was going to seriously be a spoilsport. But right when I least expected it, he swung our hands again and I nearly smacked into another person.

We both laughed, with me blurting out a frantic, “I’m sorry!”

“So immature,” he chastised, shaking his head with disapproval.

“I can’t believe you. You are such an asshole!”  

The familiar hum and beeping of the metal detectors threatened to dislodge memories from the back of my mind, and I shook my head to try to get rid of them again. Spencer glanced over with concern but didn’t mention it.

I was grateful. I didn’t want to talk about it. Once we had passed security, he settled into the line like he’d done it a million times before. But me, being a normal person who used my banking app to cash checks, felt strangely out of place.

Figuring it might be a minute, and that the ride home would be significantly longer, I decided to go get any residual dirt and grass out of my hair. After all, it would get in the way of our tick searching activities.

“Hey, I’m gonna run to the bathroom. Don’t go anywhere.” I pointed an accusing finger at him as my arm slipped from around his. His hand followed me until he couldn’t hold on any longer, an innocent, lovesick smile on his face.

“You know I could never leave you behind.”

As cheesy as it was, it still made me smile. My heart ached with the saccharine sweetness of his affections. I’d gotten so used to them so fast; I couldn’t even imagine a world without them anymore.

“Don’t miss me too much, Dr. Reid.”

“You know I will, little girl.”

That storm cloud feeling was brewing in my chest again as I pressed a kiss to my fingers, blowing it across the ever-growing distance between us. Why did he feel so far away so suddenly?

I tried not to pay it any mind, humming You Are My Sunshine and imagining Spencer’s terrible singing voice instead. Looking at my reflection, I realized why my cheeks had been getting sore. Because there, staring back at me, was a smile on a neutral face.

I don’t even know when it happened, but it hit me in that bathroom of a bank at 12:47pm on a Saturday that I had fallen madly in love with Spencer Reid. And it suddenly made sense, why he didn’t want me to say it yet. Because I hadn’t realized it yet.

But now I had, and it filled every cell in my body. The blush on my cheeks was evidence of just how much I needed to let it out, to scream it from the rooftops, or at least in the lobby of this old bank.

There were so few things that could overwhelm the emotions I was feeling and rob me of this moment. My brain rioted against any sign of darkness or despair, clinging to the hope that I would be able to tell him soon.

So, when explosive booms rang through the bank, for a long second, I tried to convince myself they were thunder.

But they weren’t. The storm had indeed come, but it wasn’t responsible for the sounds that caused my heart to tear in two and shatter against the floor. The people outside the room were not screaming at the wrath of God, displayed with lightwork in the sky.

It was not thunder.

They were gunshots.

 —————————————————

| Part 14 |

[xiaomoxu]

LUCIEN - Taste Date

SPOILER ALERT!!

A date from CN server which hasn’t been released on EN server yet. Might contains some spoiler.

The projector in the living room flickered, and the music at the end of the movie was intertwined with the warm sunshine. In this space that belongs to me and Xu Mo, there is a warmth day after day.

I looked at the scrolling subtitles on the screen and yawned.

Xu Mo: Do you think the movie is boring?

Xu Mo turned his head and looked at me with a faint voice as always, but the smile in his eyes was a little bit more than usual.

MC: Nope. The movie is very interesting. I especially like narration, music and mirroring.

MC: It's the movie you picked.

As I said, I leaned against Xu Mo again, leaning my head on his shoulder.

MC: I just relax suddenly and feel like I'm lazy

MC: Obviously I did all kinds of imagination before the holiday, but when I could really rest, my brain went on strike, and I didn't even bother to think about the plan.

Xu Mo: However, if you don't plan well, this rest day will also slip away unknowingly.

MC: There is nothing wrong with this principle

MC: Then we will discuss how to spend a full and rich rest day tomorrow.

MC: But right now... just rest with nothing to do for one day, okay?

When I looked up at him, I was amused and blinked earnestly. Xu Mo seemed to squeeze my face helplessly.

Xu Mo: You...

Xu Mo: Do you want to watch another movie?

Before I had time to agree, Xu Mo's phone on the table rang untimely.

The caller is Aming.

Xu Mo pressed the hands-free button after answering the phone, got up and walked to the cabinet where the discs were stored.

Aming: Professor Xu, sorry to disturb you.

Xu Mo: what's happening?

Aming: Do you have any arrangements for today? The previous experiment has made some progress, I would like to trouble you to follow up.

Xu Mo paused when he picked the DVD.

Xu Mo: is it urgent?

Aming: It's not actually too late after the holidays.

Aming: However, there will be a few academic conferences and postgraduate papers that you need to check. Time will be a little tight.

Xu Mo: I know. Leave it until after the holidays.

Aming: Alright professor, take a good rest.

As the phone hung up, Xu Mo also chose the DVD. And I, who was listening silently beside him, suddenly had a thought.

MC: Xu Mo, I have a plan!

Xu Mo: Yes?

MC: Since it's a holiday now, there shouldn't be many people in the research right?

Xu Mo: Well, that's right.

MC: Then I will go to work with you!

As if shocked by my sudden suggestion, Xu Mo raised his eyebrows and said again to confirm.

Xu Mo: Go to work with me?

MC: Yes! This way you can spend the rest day with you without delaying your work.

MC: And it satisfies the condition of "fullness and richness" very well. Isn't it a great idea?

Xu Mo: I do not deny that this is a feasible method....

Xu Mo: But my work is probably not as interesting as you think

I shook my head vigorously.

MC: It is not an opportunity every day to see Professor Xu's work side up close.

MC: This holiday plan will definitely be the one I wanted to start a long time ago.

MC: "Professor Xu Mo's Ecological Observation" project adds an important record!

Although I have “sneaked in” here many times because I gave Xu Mo a lunch box or helped him take care of the plants in the office...

But walking into the office with him in this way and watching him sitting behind his desk up close is still a new experience.

MC: Xu Mo, you just treat me as if I'm not here, just do your usual work normally!

Seeing that I had quite taken out a notebook to record his daily momentum of work, Xu Mo gently tapped on my head.

Xu Mo: Well, now that producer MC is fully prepared, then I will cooperate well.

Xu Mo: But say it in advance, even if you feel boring, you can't run away.

MC: Pftー don't worry, I won't!

I hope our "cooperation" today will be turned well.

I held back a smile, sat pretentiously on the sofa in the corner of his office, and waved to him.

The so-called "Professor Xu Mo's Ecological Observation" project, only "observing Xu Mo" is my real purpose.

The person in front of me always seemed to be able to cooperate with my careful thoughts, and would not pierce easily.

For me, seeing Xu Mo's work in a rare way is already the most interesting thing for me.

Xu Mo sat behind his desk, his narrow eyes could not see emotions, only the light spots on his face swayed playfully with his breathing rate.

We didn't speak for a while, and typing sounds regularly echoed in the office where only the two of us were alone.

Xu Mo: Is it connected to the intranet?

Xu Mo didn't stop his hand movements and spoke naturally

MC: Yep, it's already connected.

MC: However, the network speed of the highest biotechnology institute is really fast

??: After all, we have a lot of data to process, and it will be troublesome if the network cannot keep up.

With a soft knock on the door, a familiar voice heard outside the door.

Researcher: Amin told me that the professor was not coming today, and he was probably going to accompany MC. I saw that the office light was on, and it was strange.

Researcher: Unexpectedly, you came together.

The other party was one of the researchers who followed Xu Mo as a researcher, and I had met Xu Mo several times before.

Xu Mo nodded lightly in response, and I also smiled politely at him.

MC: Do you have a job to talk about? Then I first

Researcher: No, no, I will go back to the lab now. Professor, you are busy, I won't bother you.

The researcher winked at us jokingly and waved away.

Xu Mo raised his eyes and looked at the direction the person was leaving, then smiled and said to me.

Xu Mo: It seems that when I didn't know, the researchers around me had a better relationship with you.

MC: Because everyone is very kind.

Xu Mo: A lot of things have been added to the office unknowingly.

Xu Mo smiled and pointed to the blanket on the sofa.

MC: Of course. My goal is to make it comfortable and easy to work with!

Xu Mo: Then I will wait and see.

In the next few hours, Xu Mo's typing sound never stopped.

Occasionally, a few researchers came in to submit materials, and because they were all familiar people, they directly handed me the documents that needed to be sorted out.

In this way, I also feel a little happy to be around Xu Mo and do something for him.

But....

Xu Mo: Ugh...

Hearing Xu Mo's sigh for many times today, I walked behind him and massaged his shoulders and neck.

You keep sighing, is your work today not going well?

Xu Mo: Is not. It's just that the efficiency is not as high as usual.

MC: Is it too tired?

MC: Xu Mo smiled and took my hand, leaned a little later, half leaning on me.

He took off his glasses and put them on the table. The eyes that looked at me were full of clarity, and there was no fatigue.

Xu Mo: If you are here, I will be distracted.

Xu Mo: Are you hungry, do you want to eat first?

The noon daylight gradually slanted, and the crisp keyboard tapping in my ears stopped.

Xu Mo stood up and moved his shoulder and neck slightly.

The work is more cumbersome than I thought, and it may take more time.

Xu Mo: Why not we have lunch together?

MC: It would be nice if Professor Xu Mo could eat as well as he did today in his usual work.

Xu Mo: With your strict supervision, I am getting healthier day by day.

Xu Mo got up and put on his coat, and naturally brought me a coat and hat.

Xu Mo: For the restaurants nearby.

Seeing Xu Mo's thinking, I interrupted him first.

MC: Today I am here to do "Professor Xu Mo's Ecological Observation", so just go to the place where you usually eat.

Xu Mo: But I usually.....

I can probably guess what he said subconsciously. I squinted at Xu Mo.

MC: Did you really eat well under my supervision?

Xu Mo: ....

Xu Mo: Compared to before, my life is indeed much healthier. Especially the love bento you sent, I ate them on time.

MC: Huh?

MC: What about when I didn't send it? Is it not on time?

I did not let Xu Mo go, but further "questioned" him.

Xu Mo: Overall.... it is on time.

Xu Mo turned his gaze away with a rare guilty conscience, and gave an ambiguous answer.

MC: Then take me to the place where you usually eat now.

MC: I have to supervise the cunning big fox Professor Xu!

Although I am always amused by him accidentally, I will never compromise in this kind of place.

Xu Mo: Alright, I get it.

Xu Mo: In the future, I will follow MC's requirements more strictly and try to ensure that I work and rest regularly.

Seeing that I couldn't help but Xu Mo could only sigh and surrender.

Xu Mo took me to a small restaurant near the research center.

Most of the diners who come and go in the store wear badges from the research center.

MC: It seems that this is still a popular meal of the research center.

Xu Mo and I stood at the end of the ordering queue, looking up at the short menu. The dishes were almost occupied by sandwiches, burgers and pizza.

MC: But the food does not seem to be too rich...

Xu Mo: Yes. After all, people usually think more about how to make eating time the most efficient than enjoying food.

Xu Mo: If you have not forgotten to eat, you will choose food that is portable and can be eaten as quickly as possible.

Xu Mo: So you can finish a meal while walking or working.

Xu Mo didn't look at the menu and ordered a sandwich when it was our turn.

It seems that he does come here often.

The clerk clearly placed the order and settled the bill. The smooth and streamlined movements are in line with efficiency aesthetics.

MC : I'm going the other way with you, and I will never give up any chance to enjoy food

MC: Occasionally, I ran for a cup of coffee during my lunch break.

MC: After all, eating is a very happy thing.

Xu Mo: Yes. Indeed it is.

MC: Xu Mo looked at me as if he missed and said with joy.

Xu Mo: I didn't think three meals a day were important or pleasant.

Xu Mo: But I found it now.

Xu Mo: This feeling is especially strong when you eat the rice cooked by this "Snail Girl".

Almost as soon as I was seated, the clerk had already delivered some nice sandwiches.

MC: Huh? Is this restaurant serving food so fast?

The sandwiches on the tray are very rich in content, some vegetables and meat, and it seems that there is an egg in it.

MC: Is this your usual lunch?

Xu Mo nodded and unpacked.

Xu Mo: The sandwiches in this shop are very popular in the research center.

MC: Is it because the nutrition is balanced and delicious?

Xu Mo: Would you like to taste it?

Xu Mo smiled and split off a corner of the sandwich and handed it to me.

While talking, other meals were also delivered over.

In such a comparison, I always feel that the sandwich in front of me looks very simple.

But as the saying goes, the food is not good.

MC: Well.... the nutrition seems to be very balanced.

I returned Xu Mo with a bright smile.

Xu Mo: Doesn't it taste good? It's better to say that it was just enough to swallow it just now.

MC: ....

MC: It must be that the ingredients used in the store are more particular, right? It can add rich nutrition.

Xu Mo: It's just ordinary ingredients.

Xu Mo: From a nutritional point of view, meat is somewhat insufficient, and the intake of carbohydrates and protein is definitely not enough.

I tried to maintain the smile on my face, somewhat worried whether the store would hear this straightforward conversation and swept us out.

Xu Mo: However, it has a unique advantage that it can become the favorite food in the hearts of researchers at the research center.

I opened my eyes slightly and listened carefully.

Xu Mo: High speed.

MC: What?

Xu Mo: The serving speed is very fast, if it is taken away, the speed is even faster.

MC: So that's all...

Xu Mo: Someone once did statistics...

Xu Mo: If you order this sandwich in this restaurant, you can save at least 13 minutes and 22 seconds even during peak dining periods.

As I listened to this so precise and unnecessary data, my brain gradually emptied.

Does the research scope of the research center cover this kind of place?!

Xu Mo: This statistical report covers all shops within a walking distance of 20 minutes, and the credibility is very high.

MC: That's it, everyone at the research center are so strictㅡ

Xu Mo was amused by my lack of emotional ups and downs, and he pushed my burger toward me.

Xu Mo: But the taste of other dishes should be normal and worth eating.

Sure enough, the beef Hamburg, which looked very tender and juicy, basically reached the standard of "delicious".

Compared with the tasteless sandwich just eaten, it can be called "delicious."

MC: So, do you usually eat this kind of food for lunch?

Xu Mo: Yes. This is considered to be one of the most optimal in all aspects

Xu Mo bit the sandwich in his hand and explained the facts calmly.

MC: Although time is important and this sentence is also very long-winded, I still think three meals a day are very important

MC: After serious work, it is worth rewarding yourself with delicious, nutritious and balanced food.

MC: Eating enough and sleeping well is not only a guarantee of life, but also a statement to myself: Today I am also living seriously.

Facing my serious "preaching" Xu Mo stretched out his fingers to smooth my frowning brows, and smiled a little happier than before.

Xu Mo: It is as expected.

Seeing me looking at him a little puzzled, Xu Mo smiled and fed me a piece of French fries, and continued to speak.

Xu Mo: Several times, when I ate sandwiches from this restaurant, I wondered how you would react if you came here and ate the same food as me.

Xu Mo: When you taste the taste, you will definitely hesitate to say it bluntly.

Xu Mo: You will definitely tell me after listening to my reasons for choosing it, to eat well and take care of yourself.

Xu Mo: My guess was not wrong.

MC: Hm....

MC: Why do you think of me at this time?

Xu Mo: When you encounter all kinds of things, you will always share with me

Xu Mo: Every time I receive a message from you and learn about every bit of your life, I am very happy.

Xu Mo: Of course I would want to do the same thing.

Xu Mo: Rather, it is the most normal thing to unconsciously think of the people you care about in every bit of your life.

Xu Mo's tone was light.

This is indeed an ordinary thing.

But this kind of thing, being said so bluntly and seriously by him, still makes my cheeks hot.

MC: You, why don't you hurry up and try other foods?

MC: This pizza looks delicious. Would you like to try it?

As if to conceal my feeling of making a fuss about "normal things", my body has already taken a step before my reaction.

(karma CG included)

I picked up the pizza just baked and handed it to Xu Mo.

MC: Is it a sweet pizza that you haven't tried before, try it?

Xu Mo didn't take the pizza I handed over, but just bent down and bit the tip of the pizza.

His snort rubbed my fingers, it was warm and a touch of humidity.

The reduced distance is like a switch that flashes a similar scene in my mind.

Xu Mo: is good?

Xu Mo who bit the pizza opened his eyes slightly.

MC: Is the pizza with cheese, blueberry and honey taste too weird?

I looked at Xu Mo's face and tried to find the answer in his expression.

Xu Mo moved closer to my side and bit off the cheese.

Probably the pizza that was just out of the oven was still a little hot, Xu Mo didn't speak immediately, but motioned for me to try it too.

MC: It is good!

On the first bite of the pizza, I also opened my eyes wide and nodded to Xu Mo frequently.

MC: it's nice!

MC: Unexpectedly, there is such a delicious thing hidden in a place so close to the research center!

The little beauty and surprise that I suddenly found, the joy that I shared with my favorite person the first time...

The scent of blueberries and the sweet taste of honey are intertwined, and the heart is full of satisfaction.

Xu Mo: It seems that I am too underestimated and I am too used to this restaurant.

MC: Coming with you today is really rewarding!

Xu Mo: Indeed it is.

As Xu Mo said, he picked up another slice of pizza and handed it to me, his eyes were softer than the lemon-colored sunlight outside the window.

Xu Mo: Even if I'm very familiar with the things I am used to, when I'm with you, it will always be different.

Xu Mo: It seems that as long as I look at you, I won't miss all the beautiful things.

Xu Mo's voice is still so faint, with some warmth and softness in the heart.

MC: In the future, I will continue to work hard to discover the little beauty in life.

MC: So Professor Xu will continue to rest assured with me.

He did not speak any more, just smile and stretch out his finger and wiped the corners of my mouth.

There have been many times when he used the same tone and tone to explain a certain theory and a certain truth for me.

Just now, he told me more facts about himself.

Small, ordinary facts have not been verified by large sections of papers, nor are they new discoveries that shock the world.

But it is absolutely correct and constant like any other law that constructs this world.

It was enough to make my heart beat faster than usual.

--- END ---

I’m sorry if there’s some mistranslation. Kindly tell me if you found some :) thank you for read it~ ^^